I never laughed so hard!

Back in my building days, we were up top decking the roof and a gutter truck pulled up next door. The guy presses out about a 50 foot piece of gutter.

One worker said, "Did you see that piece of gutter that guy pulled out of ther truck? I wonder how he fit it in there"?

I told him he had a special hole in the windshield for the long pieces.
He looked at me in belief, lol.

 

was she blond? did i just say that?

 

When I was onboard an aircraft carrier and heading over to the Med, the captain came on the ship speakers (middle of the Atlantic) and asked for personnel to get binoculars and head for the front of the flight deck to look for the mail buoy. On this particular day, it was real foggy out. I bet there were 300 enlisted and officers on the front of the fight deck looking for that darn buoy........CIC guys used to always get their new recruits to look for the Relative Bearing Grease...

 

I was with an Indycar team for years,and we use to send the new guys over to the G-Force Trailer to get us some cross-weight....lol

 

Don't even bring the military into this. This is for trucking stuff. I went to the quarterdeck to request permission to secure the cooling water to the handrails on the 03 level because one of them was leaking.

 

I'm going to show my age now. Back in the early 90's when Zeneth made computers (x286), they had the 51/4" floppy drives, and they would make squeking noises. One of my co workers told our supply lady to order "floppy drive brakes", in her normal fashion she goes "huh, they don't have brakes". Coworker takes her over to his computer, put a disk in and asked if she herad the noises from the drive. She said she did, and his response was "that's the sounds of the brakes going bad, if the brakes fail the "A" drive is going to crash into the "C" drive and were going to lose the whole computer". She spent two weeks calling computer supply stores to find a set of brakes before we clued her in.

 

I still waiting for some one to find the tube of bulkhead remover, and a bucket of steam so we can weld on the the new chowline with the BT (navy thing) punch.

Oh, and while your at it I also need some batterys for the SOUND powered phones.

 

i used to be in carpentry this type of crap was priceless. one day this guys first day, he was about the same age as me but i had been doing it for about 3 or 4 years. i told him "I need a 2x4" he goes and grabs a 2x4, i put my tape to the 2x4 "uh yeah looks like you grabbed the 1 1/2x3 1/2's there should be some 2x4's around there somewhere. also i'm gonna need my right handed hammer, the big air hook, and the board stretcher if you dont mind

 

I remember my grandfather talking about this happening to him, he just went and borrowed one from the guy that was left handed.

I won a $5 bet a month or so ago, when i proved to a guy in my unit that I have actually changed muffler bearings before, in a car i used to drive...

cheftom, freakiest thing, my brother in law and a bunch of my friends are volunteer firefighters, I was over at a buddies house a while back and heard his radio go off for the nearby town where my sister and brother in law live, and it was their address... as we rushed out the door i got my sister on the phone and they were 100 miles away in denver. turns out their corn stoke just got a little choked up and got a bit smoky, no real problem, but not something that you really want to hear...

 

When a young airman myself, I was making a run to the supply room for general shop consumables. The Senior Chief stuck his head out of his office and asked me to get 50' of Flight Line. I walk out the door and *FACEPALM!* remember what that is... So I told supply, and they helped me turn it on him by giving me a "backorder" slip

Later on, as a rated PO, I sent an airman over to supply for a gallon of rotor wash so we could wash the helicopter.

(ya know, with all the Navy pukes out here, I'm surprised no-one beat me to the prop/rotor wash joke..)

Although I gotta admit to falling for the "DC Punch" (DC=Damage Controlman) bit on the cutter...

6Years, USCG