Please help!!

She may never like it no matter how good she gets at it. Driving a truck isn’t for everybody. Take stock of the situation and do whatever needs to be done. Whatever you do will probably be painful but it will be a good thing in the long run. An unhappy driver is not a good and safe driver.

 

I've read through the responses, and might have an idea for you.

After you get your CDL and a little experience under your belt, you might want to see if your boyfriend wants to run owner operator. You can stay at home, book loads, acquire permits, do taxes and billing, etc.

That way you help him do what he wants to do, while avoiding having to do it yourself.

You could even do your part of it from an RV, so you could drive to meet him regularly even if he is OTR.

 

He’s been at it for 10 years and you’re just starting. Was he a driver when you started dating? My instinct tells me that he was. Most of the time, these type problems show up within the first year of the relationship. Was it his idea for you to get CDLs and come with him? Or was it your idea?

I’m not going to try to tell you what you can do to like the job. It’s not for you. This is usually when the relationship starts to die.

“Either he needs to find a local job, or you suck it up and stay on the truck.”

That’s an ultimatum. Not good. Ultimatums speed up the death of the relationship.

What can you do?

Well, I am hoping that the whole idea of you going teams with him was your idea. If he was really looking to have a woman on the truck with him, this will be bad.

 

What part of driver dont you like?

It will be easier if you can describe a typical blow the top situation when something specific happens. What are the triggers?

You can love someone in life but at times you will discover that you will either get off the road, leave him to solo, go home and stay there while he drives or leave him and make a life for yourself doing something YOU like. Love is wonderful, but not the end all be all for problems in life which lead to arguments etc. Im not worried about that love part. What is going on is specific triggers pushing your buttons. What is it? Dispatcher yelling? Strangers hitting on you or bad food? Difficult and very long loading/unloading times? Crazy paychecks between feast and famine? There has to be something that is enraging enough to cause plenty of the hate you speak of.

Solve that and maybe the hate will no longer be relevant anymore. You have to do it because it will become like stones in your heart and eat you up.

I had a wife with me as a full reefer team with FFE in our time back in 2001 among other companies running with McKesson in Memphis. We made it about a year. One rule we had which was essentially commandment number one, if we wanna yell and argue, one of us has to go into the sleeper with curtains shut and stay there until the emotions calm down however long that takes. And the other has to be the captian in that drivers seat. Lives depend on it.

One time we broke that rule in St Louis rush traffic, my driving went badly enough to attract attention of a police detective the next lane over he pulled us over then and there with lights and siren. Possibly a domestic problem with potential arrests. However it turned into a very.. surreal converstation as he solved the problem that caused the dispute and arguing in the very beginning. Once you start something like that you cannot stop and that is where trouble begins. It has to be stopped. Refer to the sleeper rule.

We don't argue much anymore but there isnt much to argue about either. #### little and for that we are thankful.

 

Well that's hard to say without knowing what your dislikes are. I'm assuming it's him being gone alot. It takes a special kind of woman to be a truckers wife. Let's face it nobody wants to be alone in a committed relationship. Very comparable to an active duty military spouse.
My advice would be get your CDL and start team driving. You'll make alot of money together. Best Wishes v

 

Let him do what he loves driving a truck and you go find a banker to marry, you can then have a secret affair whenever he gets through your town....

j/k