Redneck At The Scale

About two decades ago I leased my antique Pete 359 to Ranger (Landstar). I took a load from South Carolina to Waco, TX. A quick trip, I had my appointment set up for Monday morning & started my journey Sunday evening.
All was well until I got to Shreveport... that scale was generally closed on Sunday nights. Anyway it was open and apparently the troll living under the bridge there was lonely. So... I get a red light. The troll comes out, ignores the big red letters on my mirror “THIS IS NOT A HANDLE” and proceeds to swing on it like a chimp.
He asks me if I have a brother in Dallas. i said no. Then he asks “are you sure?” I confirmed I was... then asked why. He went on about there is a guy in Dallas that looks exactly like me... then asked again! After about the 4th round I asked... “Is your dad’s name Jerry?” He said “No, it’s Bill (or something)... why do you ask?” So being stupid I said... “Well you keep swinging on my mirror like one of “Jerry’s kids” so I thought you might be one of them.”
Bad idea! He jumped down, screamed “park over there! get your paperwork & logbook & bring it inside!”
While waiting inside another truck comes thru. Boom... red light for no reason! The driver comes in. The troll is still going over my log... (I was off for two days before I started my trip). He couldn’t find anything wrong so that pissed him off even more.
Now he’s checking the other driver’s stuff. The driver pulls out a little Jeff Foxworth calendar... “ You might be a redneck if...” points to a picture, then at the guy, back to the picture... I’m about to explode laughing. Problem is the troll has his back to us but can clearly see us in the reflection in the window. Oops!
So... he gets up. Grabs the calendar, looks at it then says... “You two are a couple of real comedians, let’s see how funny I can be when I inspect your trucks.”
I’m thinking... “Good luck with that... I spent yesterday polishing every last detail” I kept my truck perfect!
Years prior I had added a polished aluminum deck plate between the sleeper & 5th wheel. Obviously not stock. So he says “oh look, we have chafing air lines.” I asked how he figured that” then he said that if I get into a major dip, then turn 90 degrees or more, before the tractor tires rise from the dip, the air lines could possibly rub on the plate. I said “If I was stupid enough to try that, I’d rip the landing gear off my trailer, then flip the trailer as it tried to come out of the dip sideways.” “Doesn’t matter... the lines might rub!” I informed him that it’s been that way for over a million miles and it hasn’t hit yet. Then he said... “Well this is a judgement call and you are parked for the night.” Then went after the other guy.
About 5:00am a new guy showed up. We waited for the redneck troll to leave then went back inside. The new guy, already had a big smile on his face and asked what we did to piss off the troll. I started telling the story and when I got to the part about Jerry’s kids, he shot hot coffee out his nose!
I swear he must have laughed for twenty minutes! I never even finished the story! Anyway he gave us all our stuff back & said to hit the road. Even thanked us for pissing the guy off! Apparently even the guys he works with hate him.
I was able to make my delivery a few hours late. They enjoyed the story too.