"Stunts" you have pulled over the years.....

Some things are best left unsaid.

 

or set the PC to a "French" keyboard.

 

When I was 14 my dad had this old "Sanford & Sons" piece of junk 1979 Dodge pickup. It was a basic, no power steering, no power brakes, 225 slant-6, 3-on-the-tree piece of junk painted with bondo and house paint. (That truck was TOUGH though, I had it airborne a few times in the fields and never broke anything)

Anyway one day my friends and I tapped out the hinge pins from the drivers door, and set the door in place, so it was latched shut. It didn't look like anything was the slightest bit unusual.

At 6:30 AM my friends and I were waiting in the bushes, having stayed up all night re-naming all the streets in the neighborhood (next post). My dad comes out to the truck to go to work and when he opened the door, the whole thing fell off.

It was so funny even my dad was laughing.

 

When I was 14, the same night we did the door prank on the old clunker truck, we went around the neighborhood with an allen wrench stealing all of the street signs. They were the newer kind with the reflective vinyl lettering on a flat green surface. I had a roll of white shelf liner or contact paper or something, close enough.

We sat in my garage for several hours with razor blades carefully scraping off the letters and then we took an Exacto knife and cut out new letters, re-named the streets and had the signs back up before it even got light out.

I lived on "PEN15 ST", the next street over, where a county deputy lived, we named that "DONUT ST". This girl on a cross-street whose house you could smell from the street because of her 7 dogs and 21 cats, well that was "CAT STINK RD". One street was "DRUNK DR". It's been so many years though I can't remember the rest of them. There were 9 streets in the neighborhood, 17 intersections, and two street signs per intersection. A total of 34 double-sided signs. There were 7 of us that night, and we changed them ALL.

A whole week went by before the township replaced the signs.

 

I was running with a friend from my company. We stopped at a rest area because I had to take a #### and he pulled that lame old "quarter between the red glad hand gaskets" trick so my trailer spring brakes wouldn't release. I knew about that prank because in 2004, my CDL school instructor told us about it. It took me all of about 30 seconds to figure it out.

But I had the last laugh.

A few hours later we stopped to pig out at a Petro buffet. This time HE had to take a #### before we left. I had been waiting for that moment. I ran outside, grabbed my tool box out of my truck and switched his glad hands on the ends of his identical black air hoses. I re-connected them with the colors matching, but the lines crossed. The spring brake hose would pressurize the service brakes, and the brake pedal would release the spring brakes, but only if the red knob was pushed in, thus holding his service brakes on.

I put my tool box away and ran back inside. He was already out of the defecation station and was looking for me, so I ran into the bathroom before he saw me, got my hands wet, grabbed a paper towel and walked outside drying my hands and said I had to #### too.

We get out to the trucks and his won't move. He got on the CB and said "it's only funny the first time, ### hole! I'm keeping your quarter!" Of course, there was no quarter between his glad hands. He checked, stuck his pinky in the holes to see if I'd put gum in them or something. He got under the trailer to see if I'd clamped off the hose with vise grips, then he gave up. I was trying to give him hints, but eventually he got pissed off and said "we got Tyson loads, we gotta roll, fix my ########## truck!"

He knows better than to mess with me now! He knows I'll get him back.

 

When I was in middle school, I took a handful of those little adapters you use to plug a 3-prong grounded plug into an older 2-hole outlet. I put solid, bare 12 gauge copper wire bent in a "U" shape into the two slots. Two "U" jumpers per adapter. I wrapped them up in electrical tape and gave them to my friends while we were waiting for the teachers to unlock the friggin' doors in the morning and let us in. We synchronized our watches, and at the same time, during the passing period between 1st and 2nd periods, we went into different bathrooms and plugged them in. I had no idea what circuit breakers were at the time, I just thought we'd blow fuses. But we managed to knock out the power to the entire school for about 3 or 4 seconds before they automatically reset themselves somehow. By overloading multiple circuits on the same mains, it must've tripped the 80 ga-zillion amp master breaker for the entire building.

Next passing period we met up in the hallways, made a new plan, for the passing period between 3rd and 4th. We did it again, with the same result. The entire school went dark for several seconds, then they reset.

At lunch we decided just to leave them in the outlets and see what happens after the lights come back on. So we did that between 5th and 6th periods, and the lights blinked twice, except the 2nd time one of the adapters started shooting sparks until it melted the brass prongs. That guy pulled his out, it burnt his hand so he threw it in the toilet and flushed it.

Next day the buses never showed up. We went home and found out they had cancelled school so electricians could figure out what was going on. They never did figure out what we did.

 

In 8th grade gym I used to fake an asthma attack to get out of my 2nd lap around the athletic field in gym every time we had to run the mile, to go to the nurses office. Sometimes if I wanted to go home, I'd pretend my inhaler wasn't working, and the nurse would call my mom to come get me and she'd sign me out and take me home. (To this day, my mom STILL thinks I had 'terrible asthma" when I was 13)

One day I happened to make the observation, that the nurse had a roll-o-dex on her desk with the phone numbers for every kid in school.

I really wanted this blonde girl's number. She was super-shy and didn't dress like all the other girls, she was a tom-boy type and wasn't very popular. But she was HOT. We would see each other on the bus and exchange nervous adolescent smiles, but for some reason I was too scared or stupid to just ASK her for it.

So I did the fake asthma attack thing in gym, and when the nurse went into the locked room full of prescription drugs for kids who needed them, I looked up that girl's number on the rollodex and memorized it.

Well it's been 20 years since then, and a lot of things have changed in my life over the years, except my relationship status. In fact, she's sitting right next to me watching me type this and smiling about it.

 

Minivans, she must truly be a very "patient angel!" You sure were an ornery lil' bstrd wern't you?

Sometimes I think it is a miracle that any kid actually lives to grow up!

 

Now..this wasn't me, but my dad. He told me that when he was a kid, he'd run some copper wires from the coil into the cab of my gramps' old pickup and lace the seats with it. When gramps would crank the starter he'd get bit on the butt and the backs of his legs. LOL Dad said he couldn't sit down for a week after that.

 

Kind of reminds me of the time when I was about 10 or 11 and I put a rubber band around the lever on the hand-held sprayer on the kitchen sink and positioned it so it would point at whoever turned on the sink.

About an hour later I heard a scream, next thing I know my mom was standing there with her wet shirt on yelling at my dad because she thought he did it.