I never laughed so hard!

In the Navy the new guy in our shop said he was tired of being pranked and we were crazy if we thought he was going to go out and look at the flying fish.

 

Years and years ago, my first job was at a grocery store that had an ice cream freezer, along with a regular one and a cooler. The ice cream freezer was a bone friggen’ cold metal tomb - walls, ceiling, AND floor. My first night closing, one of my duties was to go mop the ice cream freezer. Thinking it through, I said “won’t the water freeze?” “Oh no,” I was told. “You have to use extremely hot water, that way you can get it done without it freezing.”

I bought it, went back there with my tools, slapped the wet mop down on the floor…and spent the next 20 minutes chipping bits of a frozen mop from the freezer floor.

So, being the greenhorn that got punked, it was my job to get the next new hire. A few weeks later, we hired a new checker. A week later, she was set to close and I had to give her the special assignment. I told her that she had to go to the produce aisle and shake up all the refrigerated salad dressings to keep them from separating. She bought it and only realized she had been punked when she was almost done…thirty minutes later.

My job after that was at a Pizza Hut and I carried that little bit of fun over to that job. After a particularly brutal Friday nite, I told our new guy that after a really busy nite, the hot pizzas tended to shrink the wood cutting boards and I needed the board stretcher to get them back to size. He asked what it looked like. I just threw out a random “it’s a long metal thing, you can’t miss it.”

He went back there and after a few minutes, we hear this tremendous crash! I ran back to see what happened and one of the shelves of the cupboard was collapsed, with a whole bunch of pans and dishes scattered all over the floor and the managers desk cleared off, everything also on the floor and a couple of glasses of soda spilled all over the weekly paperwork. Here’s the new guy saying “I don’t know what happened, but the board stretcher was jammed in there and when I pulled it out, everything just fell!” I looked at the board stretcher in his hand and he was holding the long metal...shelf bracket.

Needless to say, that was the last time I played that little game.

 

No, but I have sent them out for a can of air tank stop leak or a can of clutch free travel.

 

the time i was behind a schnieder truck through the scale on i-70 eastbound coming into ohio. the light stayed green for him, but someone decided to announce on the c.b., "shneider, we need you to pull around back and remove your fifth wheel".....and he pulled around back.

 

I have sent guys to get exhaust samples off of tanks and hummers. tank shave a turbine engine with 1500 hp. its hard to keep a straight face when they are standing behind one trying to hold a trashbag.

batteries for the chem lights are classic, as are the box of grid squares (all army vets should know this one)

also with automotives, you have to send someone looking for carburator belts.

by the way, has anyone seen that new fat free bottled water????

 

Back in my teen's I spent summers working at my dad's printing company. One Friday I was in charge of taking everyone's lunch orders and running to pick it up. It was Taco Bell that day. I go in the store, and after ordering some 50 hardshells, 30 softshells and about 20 chili cheese burritos, the cashier asks me if that's for here or for to go. I started laughing as did the rest of the line. I told her it's for to-go. I don't think she ever realized what was so funny about that question.

 

i was working runway watch and was supposed to be relieved every 4 hrs. well 8 hrs later no relief no bathroom no water me and the other guys was fed up. we started shooting flairs everytime a plane tried to land. finally the officer in charge came out and asked what was wrong, when we explained the problem he said "use the radio" I explained that we didn't have a radio or we would have called. he says go take a break in my jeep and I'll keep watch 4 hrs later we relieved him. Boy was he angry! but later he just laughed.

 

My favorite is getting a new guy on the ship. We would always tell them before getting underway that we needed to calibrate the radar. We would wrap them in aluminum foil and send them to the bow of the ship.

After a really long patrol we would also send the new guys out with a boatswains hook to get the mail bag off the mail buoy. One guy sat outside on the decks for 45 minutes waiting for the mail buoy.

Ron

 

A teacher of mine in the early 1970's (Mrs McDorman) told me how she was driving her new beetle down grape vine hill in California. She lost her brakes and was in for the ride of her life. She got near the bottom of the hill and the car was finally slowing when she got a clear view of a 40 foot trailer (no ltl bar those days). On the mud flaps it said "Smile as you go under".
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When I was working at the tire shop maybe 10 years ago. We had a elderly gentleman that came in demanding that when we change his tire, that he didnt want the old air put back in. He was certain that it was the old air that was giving him problems.
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Also at the same shop. We would get newbie kids that "claimed to know it all". So we would send them across the street to the Steego's and have them pick up a "piston return spring"

 

yea when i was in the army we told one of our new guys that we needed a prickey-seven(prick E7 aka Sergeant First Class)... we said it was a toold to take a part off on the bradleys.. sure enough he went around the whole company asking for a prick E7. sure enough he found an E7 haha. got smoked a little but laughed afterwards..... funny thing is this SAME guy fell for the whole "sof spot" trick on the tanks.