Top Ten For New Truckers

Sound advice

 

Fill it with helium so it'll drip dry.
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As to products to carry in truck:
Cans of Whoop Arse and cans of Squat.

A Left Handed Automatic Revolver.

Maybe some Frum-under-cheeze or Bloomer Pudding to scare away some nosy 2 and 3 legged pests.

Shoes for Jake Brake.

Nappy Blanket shaver, sold at walmart in bedding or camping supplies or wherever finer Socks are sold.

6) Couple of small rugs for the sleeper. Helps keep yur feet a bit cleaner after removing shoes unless you step on rugs with shoes or boots from outside, then move them to front of seats.

5) A Scraping pad for feet Zip Tied to bottom Driver Side Step. You'll know why soon enough from walking across most any Truck Stop, LARGE or small.

4) A SCREAMIN' MEANIE for those times when you really wanna wake up....and wake up some others too.

3) BLACK Hooked Straps about 12 - 18 inches (forgot their "name"), LONGER If Pulling Flatbed (skateboards). Good for Keeping Fuel Nozzle Still, when fueling as some Nozzles like to "Jump Out" and if ya have 2 Fuel Tanks, Please Finish on Passenger side First so you possibly do not end up on some youtube faulty truck driver video with partial Fuel Nozzle hose slapping the ground at 65 per.
Yes, it has happened too many times to "inattentive drivers" and will continue to happen.
Please don't get "famous" for such.

2) Window Cleaner, don't rely on Trashy Truck Stop Window Cleaner buckets because some "people" have used the fluid to Bathe at the Fuel Islands and not just their Head.
Other "drivers" have used the Squeegees to "clean" their 5th wheels, so be aware.

1) WATER, in Gallon Jugs. You Never Know When You'll Want It. Better to have it and not use it.
Canned Foods.
If You don't have a Fridge You Can still stay fed and not at every sloppy twuck stop On Any Sunday route.

Hope this helps a bit!

CHEERS!!

 

Why do you need condoms if you are alone in the truck?
If you are not alone, the adult movies would (should?) not be needed.

 

Because you need to be prepared for all situations. Someday, a driver might have a lady of the night in the truck. Hell it could be a lady of the day time too. That's one of the purposes for having a bed in the truck. Adult movies are good but eventually, you'll want to mimic the participants in those movies. By being prepared for all thise instances, that makes you an X-rated boy scout.

 

Comfortable sleep is most important. Ditch the garbage mattress and order a twin XL memory foam off Amazon. Get good pillows and sheets and blankets. Getting proper rest is most important in my opinion.

 

Gloves. A pair of cowhide leather gloves for fueling and a pair of lighter work gloves for anything that isn't fueling. Keep the fueling gloves in side box and work gloves in driver door side pocket.

 

If you'd get the good Mexican spurs you get shine and jingle. They aren't made for hide nor vinyl though.