Western Express, Just the Best

No shame in accepting it's not for you, why risk your life or others? God forbid something happens out here, it could change your life, and the lives of those around you forever. Much respect to anyone who doesn't make excuses, doesn't sound like you're making any of them.

 

That sucks that you’re going to hang it up. But the truth is that bad anxiety can be terrifying. You know if it’s too much or not. Good luck and be safe.

 

Good grief, i've heard of some crap shows, but this is a winner! I hope you have since parted with Welfare?

 

Gonna chime in here. If you're a nervous wreck and riddled with anxiety, it's ok to walk away. Maybe everything has built up on you mentally from the experience as a whole. There is no shame in saying that you don't feel confident or comfortable. The fact that you are saying it is the responsible thing. You recognize it. Now do the responsible thing and get off the road before you suffer a panic attack and have a tragedy. Walk away. Who cares you got some debt. It's not worth your life or anyone else's. You feel like giving it another shot, start out with some local trucking. Dump trucking or lumber delivery. You have to do what's right for you. You're reaching out for advice. That's mine.

 

I have read through the whole thread. I am going to disagree with some people here. What I agree with is that you are recognizing some limitations. What I disagree with are people telling you to hang it up. You have the right mindset, safety oriented, and goal oriented. You had a poor excuse of a trainer and a poor overall training experience. I understand the hair testing will be an obstacle to some places, but not all will have that. I would look at some companies that have schools training and fill out some applications. Speak with a few recruiters and tell them you want to drive but feel your training was incomplete. Some companies do team driving you might be able to get paired up with an experienced driver that can help you further. You might feel more comfortable knowing someone is in the truck with you that can help you out of a jamb. You can also reach out on here and in online ads for an owner operator looking for a team driver. I firmly believe you were cut loose on your own before you were ready by this company. Some of the companies with schools will pay off the debt you have with your carrier with a contract for a certain amount of time with them. If this company or their equipment, make you feel unsafe absolutely walk away from them after you turn in the equipment. Then take a deep breath and at least consider some of the options I mentioned.

Oh, and that trainer probably would have kicked me off his truck because I would have let him have every bit of my attitude and smart mouth. I would have made his entire existence a living breathing nightmare of the apocalypse falling down on his head, so good for you keeping it together. It speaks volumes to your character.

 

So I stumbled on this thread. First thing is wow W/E sounds like one of the worst companies I have ever heard of, and I'm not even just talking about the trucking industry. If you really hate being out on the road I'd suggest look at getting a yard jockey position. You still get use out of your CDL. I understand where you are coming from. I started as a diesel mechanic and didn't need a CDL. Then I got my current job, and it was required of all employees. I've gotten a lot more comfortable over the years but when I first started the truck crawled. I still drive slow to be honest. If you feel comfortable at 50 mph then do it. You won't make a lot of money but at least you will be protecting your CDL so you can move on to a better carrier.

 

Glad you did not just throw in the towel. Congrats on the sobriety, that can be a challenge all by itself. I am also glad you got to step away from the truck (breathe) for a little bit. You had a ton of stress going on, just got your license through a school immensely trying. Then you had a rough time with the trainer. Thirdly I still think they threw you out on your own too early. I will agree with the other poster that said if you feel comfortable at 50 mph then that is what you drive at (except the areas that post a minimum of 55). Now some positives, you have a calm temperament this will serve you well in both work and life. You are sticking with it, that means you will learn how the truck moves, how the trailer reacts, and how your loads react or change the aforementioned. You are doing this on your own; self-taught. That demonstrates both initiative and determination, both good qualities. Keep learning and moving forward after a while you will see you are less and less dependent on others as your confidence and comfort grows. We all need to start somewhere and none of are perfect. I will give you my example for today.

I haven't been in a truck in 6.5 years. I went to an interview/application appointment for a crane company. Part of the interview was taking a truck and trailer out of a parking spot, straightening it up, and doing a driver side back with a spotter into the parking spot again. I WENT SLOW! I mean a couple times ride the clutch slow. I am out of practice, it was an unfamiliar vehicle, and I did not feel comfortable backing in low gear at full speed. I still misjudged slightly and had to do a pull up to park it correctly. I probably had a foot and a half clearance on either side, should have been able to hit the hole no problem, but it is what it is. I went the speed at which I felt safe and in control of the vehicle with. Truth is I was probably ok but did not like what I saw in the mirror and did not want to chase the trailer. Hiring manager said I did better than 75% of the people that came and tried it and told the supervisor he absolutely can back. So keep your chin up and your head on a swivel and you will do just fine.

 

I think he will be just fine once he finds his footing. I think it is a bit harder figuring it out on your own, but at the end of the day if he sticks with it, I think he will be a million mile+ safe driver for it.