Divorce-Child Visitation in Truck

I was under the impression that you needed a permanent, full-time, physical address to hold a CDL? Was I wrong? Nonsense, I am never wrong. I am awe-inspiring. Once I reach 50, I will become completely awesome!!

 

I would vote for the hotel idea, myself.

 

I'm sure you didn't mean to phrase that in such an insulting manner to those of us who are in the trucking industry. I'm sure you realize that many of us in the trucking industry are moral, clean people who actually bathe, wash our sheets and don't have hookers bouncing on them. *smiles* We're actually quite nice for the most part.

However....I understand the misconception that some might have of our industry.

However....I spent 20 plus years working with children and teens who had a percentile of 93% who saw their fathers less than 4 days a year. These kids would have slept on glass to spend even a day with a father. So for my part I think the fact that this man spends this time with his daughters is good. I spent to many years seeing to many kids with parents who divorced and then dad either left or was pushed out of their lives.

Daughters who do not have the influence of fathers in their lives, marry younger, have a higher percentage of pre marriage births, higher rates of abortions, higher rates of school drop outs and a higher rate of drug abuse than daughters with fathers.

A night sleeping in a truck is not the same as sleeping in the backseat of a buick and it's far better than denying a child the time and attention of a father who actually cares.

I'm quite sure that this mother loves her daughters, wants the best for them and will see that the time with the father far outweighs a bunk in a truck. I'm also quite sure she'll see that giving up a tiny bit of control to the father will benefit herself in the long run and benefit her daughters greatly.

And I"m also quite sure that you are a loving, caring friend of this family and can see the value of the father to these girls.

I sincerely hope for joy for this family and will keep them in my prayers. Best wishes to you all.

 

Why is it inappropriate? Granted the lack of a bathroom is inconvenient, but it's not like there isn't one nearby. If he wanted to take them camping in a pop-up camper there wouldn't be a bathroom either. There's two bunks and it's doubtful all three girls would be available the same weekend any way. Two girls could easily share one bunk, if that's a concern.

 

Courts have been known to make some whacky decisions. I agree --- best to keep the courts out of it.

I think quality time can be had in the cab of a Big truck. If dad can get company permission to allow his daughters to ride in the Big truck, and he can find a place to drop his trailer, with company permission, they'd have a pretty cool ride to putt around in.
A limo on steroids?
And with an air-horn.

I'm old enough to be the girls' dad's dad, and I'm here to tell y'all, it is fun.

Good comparison.
And if he's bob-tail, he may be able to use one of those camp-site places for RV's. They usually have a swimming pool, little stores, and shower/restroom facilities.
The Big truck has doors.
They won't have to remain enclosed within.

An RV park would solve those concerns.

I had a bedroom in my folk's house after they convinced me I'd be wasting money renting an apartment that I'd only see for maybe 4 or 5 days a month.
That provided the required brick & mortar address needed for company records.

I had a trainee who, with her new husband fresh out of the Marines, -- also in training, planned on driving a Big truck as a team for 5-years to save money for a house. Once they were in a house, hubby planned on applying with the Los Angeles Police Academy.

I sorta convinced them to give up their apartment in San Diego which, at today's rates, would probably rent for over $1,000 to $1,500 month, --- and put that and utility bill savings in the bank.
They did that and they used a parent's address also as they visited both sets of parents in different states regularly during their Big truck truckin'.
Last I heard, they stuck to their plan and it worked.
"Honey" is a LAPO.
And "Sugar" went back to school and became a
special-ed teacher.
They started a family, ................................
but I digress.

I can't imagine the concern and/or worry having to leave a home unattended for weeks or months at a time while out on the road.

It's odd you say that, Nana.
Oddly enough, I agree with you.

Or, it could remain "fun" and also remain a non-issue.
All depends.
I'm thinkin' compromise is in order here.
Stress would spoil the whole idea.

Know what I think?
I think the RV park thing would work and be fun.
Might even have a fishin' hole, and/or hiking trails.
Bicycles?
What do those RV places charge for an over-night site?
Anybody know?
Less than a motel?

I think mom needs some reassurance.
Has she seen the inside of the Big truck?

Hail!
Take mom for a ride in the Big truck, too --- with company permission.
Show her where they plan to spend the night.
Behind a store?
I doubt that'd go over real well.
RV park *wink*

I'm sure they're worth it, but I think it would be better spent ON them, and some saved for a rainy day. I'd wager there are more shady characters stayin' in motels than RV parks.

I think mom should say yes and let 'em find out they do enjoy "camping" in the Big truck.
Maybe not all of them at the same time, but I think two could share one bunk for one night. If not, dad could pitch a tent for the night right beside the Big truck.

Right

Right

Right

Right.
Although it's difficult to improve on perfection.

Mom could solve that by offering to do dad a favor by washing those sheets, ....... and maybe a shirt, .......... pants, ............ sox?

Good point.

I think it would be a safe assumption that most Big truck truckers are used to sleeping in a vehicle.
Might be a good time for an educational peek into the wonderful world of Big truck truckin' and see what daddy does when he's not there.

Mom seems to be afraid of something.
Perhaps it's the unknown she fears most?
She should be reassured.
Would mom & dad consider putting their differences behind them and all ( or some ) go "camping" together?
Not for them, for their daughters.
If they see mom & dad gettin' along, it might make thangs a tad more tolerable.
What do you think TNana?

Yeah, I agree.
I think that location would also be pretty boring and inconvenient at best.
There'd almost have to be activities planned to get away for the day. Even sitting in a Big truck truck stop would be more interesting, --- unless a lot of trains go by behind the store.

They're young!
They survive slumber parties and sleep-overs.
I doubt the possible loss of a few hours sleep will stunt their growth. It's a learning experience, that should have the opposite effect and help them grow.
Not to mention, daddy does it all the time as a Big truck truck driver.
Don't they have
Take Your Daughter(s) To Work Day ?
Well, daddy's office rides on 10 wheels --- minimum, ....... usually 18, ........
Located somewhere betwixt shippin' and receivin' --- rollin' in transit.
It'd be cool to take a daughter for a 5 to 7 days ride.
A captive audience.

Their dad is with them.
How scared could they be? (in a secure location)

Mom & Dad need to sit down and discuss their concerns. Address the problems and resolve them. Make concessions if necessary. What they both need to realize and understand is that this is not about them, it's about their daughters.

I think mom might feel insecure, thinking she'll lose them in favor of their father. And no doubt, the girls will play one parent against the other. Problems arise when there's a marked difference of opinions betwixt parents. The bigger the difference, the easier it is for the kids to play them. The more two parents can agree, the less likely that tactic will succeed.

What's the use?
They both say the same thing.
BummnerS!

I dunno, TNana.
I've seen and inhaled the aroma of a few bunk areas I'd just as soon not have.
P-U-IE.
I mean, gag me with a spoon --- bad.

And I don't mean to imply anyone here keeps a bunk area like that.
But there are those who exist.

Yes.
Yes we are.
And I bet that's why she's asking our opinion(s).

You've smelled those bunk areas too, eah?
**********************************
Here's where it gets good, folks.
Read on,..........................
(I admit, I pre-read it.)

B R O V O !!

You're right TNana, ..........
You're odd.
And two odds makes us
even.
Question might be
Can two rights be a wrong? :smt017

Excellent post, TNana.

 

I'm trying to understand why it would be inappropriate. Why is the world so sexually obsessed that they assume a man is going to screw his daughter? Does the truck not have a second bunk?

In a hotel they'd be in the same room too. It's not like its the same bed. It's too small of a bed to sleep with anyone you arent doing anyway.

i live with my parents and an obnoxious step sister and have been known to get pissed off and go back to work early. But now i keep money in reserve and thoroughly hate my job so i'd get a hotel instead if it happens again...hehe.

After i buy a motorcycle im going to get my own place to live.....

 

Uhhhhhhh ------
I think you're the first to suggest sexual overtones.
Up 'till now it's been concern for safety, comfort and having a good time, --- and both parents being OK with the arrangements.

Aside from the remark about "doing" anyone, the comparison to a motel/hotel room has already been made.

But again, I don't get the impression there's any question of the father's integrity.

Takin' care of the important things first?
Does the race car come after a place to live?

 

Dear Shocky.......I'm always deeply reassured when you think I've made a good point. It tells me I'm on the right track.

I believe passionately in the need for fathers involved in their kid's lives. I've seen far to many who aren't and the damage it's done. I've seen far to many mothers push fathers from their children's lives only to deeply regret it later.

thanks Shocky.