CR England...Drive Life....What A Crock! Read this and BEWARE!

Well, now we know what "E.N.G.L.A.N.D." is an acronym for. But what about C. R.?
C ertainly
R ight
?
And where do they go after ninety days?
Back across the pond, or under it?

Good Humor,
Don't leave home without it.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.
When life deals y'all lemons
Make lemonade.
Just be sure to add sugar and it makes a dad-burned
great thirst quencher.

Next round is on me.
I tend to spill a lot.
My bad.

 

yall know how they treat there drivers the only thing they the only thing they care about is the almighty dollar bill not the well being of the men and woman delivering there loads their is only one way i see england to get the drift that all drivers aint gonna take no crap is if all the drivers get on the same band wagon. well yall get where this is going

 

Accordin' to my Rand McNalley's Official Motor Carriers' Road Atlas, if there's a band wagon where we're goin', and the krap is in front of it, we must be in a parade with an equestrian unit up front.
Personally, I'd prefer that 76 Trombones led the big, Big truck truckin' bandwagon in a parade. It's hard to watch where I'm steppin' when I'm marchin' to the beat of a different drum.

But, fer shure, I ain't wearin' no bonnet with all the frills upon it in the Easter parade, --- fer nobody.
I'd druther lease a big red Big truck with gold flake letterin' painted on the dad-gummed doors that I can't afford to open.

However&nevermind, --- I'm workin' on an invention I like to call my anti-metallic, radar beam reflectin'-deflectin', cloaking, time mind-warped, stealth modus apparandi, --- with echo, reverb and talk back at'cha, --- Big truck truck driver's triple secret, ultra-green with envy over camouflage, politically correct, formal, permanently pressed for time and time again uni-maxi-form, device grip --- so's I kin git past the detectors, undetected, --- and maybe get all the way into the front of the back office at the Taj MeHaul to have a sit-down, gab-fest with the travel agents up thar in Salt Lick City, HooTah. I jest gotta figure out how to sneak past the armed and dangerous heads up guard on patrol, Gary Coleman.
I hear he ties families and Willis slap lil ol' ladies if'n they pinch his cheeks when he ain't sittin' on 'em.

HuH?
SaY WhaT? :smt104
NO, ....... not on the lil ol' ladies, ....... silly.
His cheeks.
He's a real a sset to the company. :smt108
Don'cha know. :smt112


Temper, temper, little (former) star.:smt091
How we wonder how short you are.
Down below his hat so far
So close to Earth, he can't reach the bar.

Temper, temper little (former) star :smt092
Can't reach the pedals in his car, ---
Down on the floorboard, away from his feet, so far, ---
With little beady eyes squintin' and twinklin' and strainin'
To see past the nose of his cherry red, leased large car.

I Am The Police,
You Must Let Me Lease!
I Can Play The Part,
The script says I'm smart.

And with that bein' said, 'bout bein' so smart, ---
The little big man let loose with a very loud

Sigh of relief.


HuH?
Say what?
You thought I was gonna say WhaT?!
Flatulence?


ShuX HowdY,
That don't even rhyme.

I'd 'splain it to y'all, butt,
I ain't got the time.
You see, fellow driver, I'm in a bind. :smt090
I'm a Big truck truck lessee and now I'm my own boss.

Check it out, ----

Thars my name on the binding contract, I signed on the dotted line.
What they make me do now
Oughta be a crime.

Started out with a dollar,
And wound up with less than a dime.
Nuthin' unusual 'bout that though, I reckon, ---
Happens all the time.
I used to laugh, but now I just sigh.
So, if y'all see me in the pickle park, doin' my thang, ---
Just drive on by, don't attempt to say hi.
Yes, there's a reason for that, big guy.
I'm me and I prefer to be alone
whenever I cry. :smt087

Bye
Bye
I missed the
American Pie.
Drove my 'liner to the levee but by then I was dry.
No fuel in the tank, for that who can I thank?
No one will talk to me, down at the bank.
Gone went my money, soon followed by my dear Honey.
Dad-gummit, dang-nabbit and gol-durnit, too.
I want to be paid more money, just like you.
I think I earned it, so maybe I'll sue.

But the suits and ties in their offices on high,
Tell me git-'er-dun, bubba. Only one way out of here lil big guy, ---
And that's if you keel over and die.
How do y'all know that here y'all cain't make it big,
if ya don't give it your all and
try, try, try, try?

Don't believe other drivers, they all only lie.
They'll lead ya to hail, and there you will fry. :smt074
It's only a dream, havin' an American cream pie.
Y'all will eat it and then just get fat, --- listen to us, --
that ain't where it's at.

So what if everyone else is all happy?
And you're feelin' like krap, krap, krap, krappy?
Shut up, get rollin' --- and y'all better make it snappy.
Or we'll ding your DAC, just like we did to your ol' pappy.
Cry us a river, ---
just be sure it's on time that our load you deliver.

Drop, hook and sit, --- read your bills till you shiver.
But don't idle that engine, in the cold, dead of winter.
Burnin' that fuel is wasteful and dirty, ---
So when it comes summer, we expect y'all to simmer, ---
Inside that Big ol' red lease truck,
in which y'all are stuck.

If y'all are so durn hungry, go borrow a buck, --- just not from us,
To us you're a schmuck.
You're behind on your payments to us, --- and that means
you suck.
About all that's left that the big red company can say,
Is rack up those miles, driver.
And have a nice day.

 

Sad thing is I went with them to get my CDL an got suckered into leasing a brand new truck from them at $494 a week an then came the .14 a mile variable mileage fee. Then $224.99 a week for insurance, plus they charge u for their CDL course thousands of dollars unless u lease a truck from them for 1 yr an then they pay for the CDL course themselves. Once students go out with a trainer the get paid $50 a day while with their trainer for 1 month. Then they go back to SLC an go with another person they call phase 2 training where ur supposed to learn how to lease wheather u want to or not for 1 month at .11 a mile which England pays .01 a mile an the lease trainer pays the other .10 a mile. While there I had a guy turning down loads left an right so .11 of 0 miles is $0. Needless to say i lived off pulling $100 cash advances of my fuel card. Then I finished the extra "training", an leased a truck or have to go teams as a company driver since they have no other alternative or quit. Then I had to wait 2 weeks for my truck. After that I've had so many issues with me going to get warrenty work done an still get charged for the work an when I tell them they took it out of my maint acct, they told me to talk to Bob England. So when I spoke with him he said I would eventually get it back. When I asked around what time frame he said they didnt know exactly when. But in the mean time im negative in my maint acct for which they didnt pay me since I was negative an paying my maint off. They really dont care about their drivers since they have a driving school mill pumping out cheap labor for them daily. Ive had to put up with this since I have no place to stay since I couldnt afford to keep any place or lack of friends or relatives so Im basically hauling freight for them without a pay check for months an still living of off my $100 a week cash advances. Im just another CR England slave, Drive life? Drive Slaves!

 

First of all, Rosarioace, --- before I get started on what could turn into a long reply to your post, and might even develop into a full blown rant that would generate dozens of thanks from those posters who are prone to clickin' that thumbs-up icon located in the bottom right corner at the end of the post, --- undoubtedly prompting many to reply in your support as I'm about to, --- thereby adding to the interesting responses generated by your post for all to read.

I'll pause here for a few minutes while you go grab a snack. No way you're gonna be able to read the whole thang without some refreshin' goodies to munch on. And impossible on an empty stomach.
Take your time, I ain't in no hurry.
I'll just sing a tune 'till you get back.

Ohhhhhh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weinner
That is what I'd truly like to be
'Cause If I were an Oscar Meyer wienner
Everyone would be in love with me. ------

HuH?
Oh, you're back already?
That was quick.
Go ahead, sit down, kick back and relax.
I'll take it from here for awhile.
Ready?
Here goes, --------------------------------

No doubt some of the posters will recognize this as a lengthy post and decide it's too long to bother readin'. To some this reply will be considered a waste of their time to read due to it's high word content, without ever considering the value of each word thought and typed.
Instead, they'll just skim over the sentences and paragraphs contained herein, never fully digestin' the meat and potatoes I've written, --- so they can spend more of their valuable time typing a half-baked reply based on what they imagine might have been discussed, without ever really knowin' for sure, --- then get right to the task of explaining how and why you went wrong along with reasons why you found the C.R. England experience to be miserable, disappointing, regretful, astounding, bewildering, aggravating, maddening, and myriads of other verbs describing the perplexing C.R. England bait and switch tactics and downright misleading descriptions, deceptions, and outright lies presented as the greatest deal ever offered to wannaBees, newBees and well seasoned veterans, by a self proclaimed bigger, better, Latter Day Big truck truckin' company from Salt Lick City, Yew-Tah.

I wouldn't be surprised if a few C.R.E. undercover positive plants chime in to tell us it's all your fault for not being able to make a success out of a golden opportunity as, what they claim, a vast majority of drivers at C.R.E. have, and are experiencing there now, as I hunt and peck to type and hope y'all read my hieroglyphics on a contrasting background --- thanks to the magnanimous and virtuous, big, cherry red, crested heart powers that be C.R. England as they hunker behind metal detectors to protect them from the knowledge of the all-knowing unknown.
Silly wabbits!
Don't they know that the pen is mightier than the sword that they sling?

Expect to read how all those countless successful lease and company drivers don't post their inspiring stories here, or anywhere else, because they're too busy driving and making a great, high paying living, to find the time to waste posting information to the contrary. We'll probably be told that they don't have the time to sit around truck stops, listenin' to countless thousands of folks whining and inventing reasons why they're failing and refusing to accept responsibility for their own inabilities to grasp reality. In short, they'll insinuate that they're more intelligent and just naturally great, and y'all are just losers who couldn't succeed at anything except total failure.

From their lofty perch on high, they have to look down their noses with eyes wide shut to catch a glimpse of life's rejects, as they roll their eyes in conceited disbelief while staring at those inferior to them, waayyy down below.
Legends in their own mind that they are.

Don't fall for that bovine excrement.
They want to feel superior to others, and if they don't feel that for themselves, ---- nobody will. SOMEbody has to have a high opinion of them, and if nobody else does, they will pat themselves on the back as they gloat while pretendin' to feel sorry for y'all.
I reckon it's lonely at the bottom of the top.

That being said, ............
Welcome to The Trucker's Report, Rosarioace.
Where the truth about the armpit of the truckin' industry will raise you above those so focused on themselves that they can't see past their inflated egos. As long as they're makin' a buck, it's all good. How they make that buck is of little concern. If they had a clue, they'd realize that when they're not part of the solution, by golly, they're part of the problem.

They'll rationalize by pointing out that it's the company doin' the dirty dealin', ...... not them. They just turn a blind eye and participate in said company's unethical practices, oblivious to the fact that THEY are the company. Without their assistance, the company called C.R. England couldn't do what they do.

They not only sleep well at night, their trainers sleep well behind the trainees they pay C.R.E. for the privilege of training, ....... in their sleep.
It's a beautiful dream, ........... for the trainers who train while asleep. When awake, it's the sales pitch to join the ranks of those asleep at the wheel. The perfect gig for those with out, or able to ignore their conscience.

Don't blame ME!
I just work for the company that makes me do the things I do that I wouldn't do if I didn't work for this company.
I don't have any choice.

Saddest part is, I think they believe that.

I bet C.R.E. is so cheap they stiff themselves for the training payment.
Can y'all just imagine C.R.E. tryin' to collect payments from themselves?

I wonder which of their faces gets away with screwin' the other?
ShuX HowdY!
I'd pay big bucks for a front row seat to watch that unfold.

That's $1,400 a month.
Is that before deductions, or after?
How much is the trainer required to pay for the privilege of havin' a trainee to sleep behind while they train said trainee as they sleep in the bunk?
Quality education?

What a concept!
If high schools adopted that practice, I bet the drop-out rates would decline.
Might even have full time professional students.
Unionized, no doubt.
Then, not only would teachers have 3 months off during the summer vacation, they'd be able to enjoy the night-life, and sleep while instructing the professional, paid student bodies in the classroom, --- who would probably be sleepin' too. :smt015
Who'd know?

Dogs are trained to sit.
That trainer might have been sleepin' in the wrong class.
Could he sit up and beg?
Did he lick his, ........... uhhhhhh, I better not go there.

Just out of curiosity, why didn't you choose to run as a (dog) team?

Considering that Freightliner can build a cherry red lemon in less than a day, I wonder if those employed at Freightliner slept while buildin' Big trucks rollin' down the assembly line?

Sit up, Bob!
Now speak, Bob.
Good boy, Bob.
Here's a bone
to pick.
Roll over and play asleep.
Sounds like ol' Bob was pretty well trained.

Is Bob one of those pure-bred green retrievers that horde?
How do you suppose ol' Bob would respond if, when he asked one of his top-notch freight relocation experts when they expected to deliver a load that a receiver was anxious to take delivery of, and the answer was, "oh, it'll eventually get there"?

Yeah, that's what I was thinkin' too.

Roughly translated, that means Bob slept through time-tellin' class.
What time is it when the big paw is on the twelve and the little paw is waggin' the tail?

It's apparent that you should become a sleepin' trainer and fetch more of the big bones C.R.E. throws their finest.
You know what they say, ...... let sleepin' dogs lie.
That's good trainin' when they can lie in their sleep, too.

They'd reap even more profit if they'd start breedin' Big truck truck drivers, too.
Not to mention the extra income for stud services.

Consider yourself lucky, Rosario.
You have a license.
If you didn't, you'd likely wind up in a shelter somewhere waiting for some kind person to adopt you, take you home, and chain you to a doghouse out back where you could sleep. Much the same as bein' chained to a Big, cherry red truck, --- except, probably more comfortable when chained to a home that doesn't move.
Might not see as many lot lizards while chained up to a doghouse though

Well, look at the bright side.
It could be worse.
Don't ask me how that's possible though. Maybe if you see your water dish and think it's half full, rather than half empty it's a good sign that you're optimistic, ---- for whatever that's worth.
Then again, if you see your water and dry food dish and they're both totally empty, better check your wallet and/or bank account.

Maybe you could get Bob to fetch the information.

Speakin' of Bob, ....... I haven't seen him move for awhile.
Not even a roll-over. Is he playin' dead? Or is he?
Yank Bob's chain while I go kick him in his buttox to see if he's playin', fakin', or assumed room temperature. He mighta gone to that big dog pound up yonder.
How many miles does the HHG estimate it is from here to there?
Not counting out-of-route miles, of course.
C.R. England probably deducts for goin' the extra mile as a reward to stagger the memory. There's shortest route and practical route. Bob might wake up to find a negative check and wind up in the hole with his bone.
If that's the case, Bob's dry food dish won't be half empty OR half full. Just half a ssed.
Bummers if Bob turns out to be a plain ol' mutt instead of a Saint Barnyard of Latter Daze.
Ya reckon.

I do hope you'll stick around, Rosarioace.
Keep us informed whether or not C.R. England has gone to the dogs.
If nothin' else, posting here could take your mind off the dog-daze at the England kennel club.
Who knows?
You might even find a better home and a better master to run for.
You deserve better than what C.R.E. dishes out and calls gourmet vittles. Until then, if I were you, I'd treat those cherry red Big trucks like a fire hydrant and lift a leg to mark your territory.
Remember, lease trucks have fleas and make ya itch for a better gig.

I'm workin' on a acquiring a humane shelter for abandoned and/or abused C.R.E. leased and/or company Big truck truck drivers. I'm expectin' to hear from the A.S.P.C.A. (A Stupid Person Can't Apply) any day now.
I'll leave the light on for y'all.
And the dishes of water and dry food won't be half empty OR half full. Not even half a ssed.
NopE!
Those dishes will be half overflowin' --- and plenty more where that came from.
Trainers need not apply.
Y'all will go from a C.R.E. bottom-feeder, skum suckin' company gopher ( gopehr this then gopher that) straight up to Top Dawg and treated with more respect.
From the outhouse to the penthouse.
And I ain't just barkin' dixie.

Then Bob can eat worms, barf, and scarf that up for desert.
The only thing worse than Bob's bark
is his dawg breath.
Ewwwwwww, Pee Yew, Bob.
You suck rotten eggs.
Go home, Bob.
GiT!
Mongrel.

Reminds me of a carpenter dawg.
Does a job on the floor, then
Makes a bolt for the door.

That being said, my reply to your post is concluded.
I rest my case.
That's my story
and I'm stuck with it.

It's been run up the flagpole.
Now we'll see who salutes it.

In the meantime, Rosario, hang in thar.
Do what'cha can when ya can because ya can
until ya can't.

 

salute!

 

Aftershock,
I'm not going to quote you, as I might go insane doing so. Just let me say BRAVO!!!
Very eloquently stated! If you need help opening that kennel, let me know. I'd be more than willing to help you revive faith and instill new confidence in the new drivers. After all, I don't plan to do this forever!

 

in closing, if you do not want to work you do not want to get paid. END!

 

No, they just haven't discovered the internet - or this site yet ...

Otherwise they wouldn't be there at all.

 

I have a friend who drove truck for them for a while. His whole job was to fly out to where people abandoned there lease and company trucks and drive them back to SLC... He was always busy flying out to another city somewhere. Apperantly there is a bunch of these guys flying around the country getting trucks back...