I'm perfect, except for a very bad work history

Roehl will take you.

 

Yes roehl tide

 

I don't see what's so bad about your employment history?

 

Some companies don't require a pulse.

That's a horrible work history and many companies won't hire you due to telling a joke that's not politically correct.
Western Express will probably give you a chance though; check the website.

 

Your work history tells the employer what type of employee you are. In driving they look for steeling, reckless driving, late, and things like that. They can never fault a person for wanting a better job. I don't think you really have a problem.

 

If you would put a location on your details, perhaps someone from that area will have more specific information.

 

At the very least you will have to account for your unemployed times by something more than what you have said.
You will need letters from friends or family or previous employers that attest that they know what you were doing and where you were during those times. The letters will have to be notarized.
You have to account for the past 10 years with verifiable documentation.

 

They will let anybody/anything drive..

 

They can't verify anything because he's a former Navy Seal/CIA and his service record is sealed.

 

What was the joke? How did management find out? Did somebody snitch on you?