question about the kids.

I thought long and hard about it, while everyday we sank deeper and deeper in debt.
In as much I want to be a good parent, I also must provide for them. The only real exp I have that pays well is driving. The boys know I love them and I reafirm that as much as possible, they understand I need to do what I need to do. Hope that helps.

 

I could not have chosen another occupation, but did quit a well-paying team driver job that kept me away from home for up to three weeks at a time. My wife (at that time) found a local driving job for me.

"Question about the kids" reminds me that truckers are not the only ones who may have difficulty with family situations. When I lived along the Illinois River, my scanner picked up radio-telephone or ship-to-shore phone calls from crew members on the barge tows to their families. Crew members worked on the river for a month and then took a month off. Their employers paid their air fare to home wherever it might be such as Denver. Anyway, it was distressing to hear a father trying to discipline his teenagers by long distance telephone.

 

Boo,

I'm a beginner, currently choosing this profession, and part of that choice is being made by the need to provide for my kids. Not that you need me to tell you, but "in as much as I want to be a good parent", part of being a good parent as you know is also providing. It's been a choice that I've struggled with a lot because I don't want to be gone long, but I do have to provide also. Thanks for the reaffirm thing. It gives me some ideas just how to stay connected with them from the road, especially in this day of "information super-highway".

 

it is the worst part of being a driver but my kids know its better for daddy to live in his box then to have all of us livin in a box on the street

 

Give them quality time when you are home, talk to them as often as you can, and they should be fine. This is coming from the wife of a driver. We have a 13 year old son, so I speak from experience. My hubby didn't have too many options for a better paying career either. It was a bit hard at first for our son, but he has settled into the routine. Dad does feel guilty, as I think any dad would, but we all do our best to deal with it, and are getting along fine.

 

Lilbit hit the nail on the head. Quality time. You can still be a good parent as an OTR driver. You just need to make sure that your time at home is quality time with those kids. Never let them feel abandoned always make sure they and the other half know they are No.1.

 

It's also a matter of what the family is used to, or has experienced in the past. For the past 9 years,I've been home pretty much every day. My wife,though,might go a few days between being home. In some cases, it would be weeks. Before these recent 9 years,I'd get home every other month for a week.

So, the family has extensive experience dealing with prolonged absences. It helps that I hit wifi sites as often as I can and can chat online with the boys. (we use xfire - it provides very clear voice options)

what sucks is.. I miss my dog.

 

You mean your dog has not figured out how to talk to you on the net?


It is the hardest on the pets.

My dogs used to get excited after the first couple of weeks every time a big truck went by. They did learn the sound of it later. It is hard, since they don't seem to understand.

 

From the child's point of view.....

We knew Daddy was out there making money to help support us, that helped a lot. He also tried to make it fun for us. He would send beautiful postcards to us, most consisted of major landmarks and big cities.....something that I cherish today more than I did then since he is now gone. He would drop them in the mailbox, stamps are getting expensive but those postcards meant a lot. We would hang them up in an area where we could see them. (hallway) He would also take us out on the road as often as possible so we had quality time with him and it also gave us bragging rights when we went back to school. (Most companies want you to drive for a few months before allowing this and most do have an age limit so this will probably depend on your kid's age.) Also before the WWW, the phone calls were very important, he called as often as possible. If money allows you, I would invest in a webcam for your home and yourself, it will allow all parties to see each other.

I do agree with the quality time issue...not only with the kids but with the wifey as well. We all need some "YOU" time! From a child's point....make sure that your kids know that even though Daddy is gone, Daddy's advice and comfort is a phone call away. I could tell Daddy anything and talk to him easier than Moma so being able to call him when I needed him was wonderful. Sometimes you just "need" to talk to Daddy. Of course also let them know that there may be driving conditions that will not allow you to talk but you will call them back ASAP.

Maybe have a family meeting to discuss this....no outside distractions and make sure each child comprehends what will happen, let them have some input and talk about it....be prepared to answer questions, kids are very curious and I'm sure will have a lot of questions.

I will be more than happy to answer anything relating to a child's point of view.