Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Now you're talking my language.. Still back her on page 140, but gaining fast..

 

Hey, I'm all caught now.. I'm not sure that I'm ready to wait for the rest. It was nice reading it as a book..

 

I see that Kenmar managed to read all of this crap. That has to be worth a few Snazzy points and our deepest apologies. Knife thinks, that love makes the world go round and Rik suggest using a J. P. to save a buck. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

After all of our company left, Hot Legs and I discussed things. Yep, she was all for it and egged me on. We were laying in bed, as the River Queen rocked us gently too and fro.

I fluffed my pillow, " I'm surprised that Piggy went for it. You know, it is a young girl's dream to have a big wedding. "

Hot Legs rested her head on my chest, " Your daughter is so nice and they do make a fine couple. I think, that you X is nuts ! She's the one that .. "

I butted in, " Oh, my X-Wifey is just trying to do the right thing ! She really did have a hard childhood. Her parents were real fine people, but drank like fish and ... "

Hot Legs didn't buy it, " That's no excuse ! She shouldn't expect you to pay an arm and a leg. That's silly ! Oh ! What did she say, when Piggy called her and told her, about the plans being changed ? "

I sighed, " She wasn't happy and I'm not sure, how this will workout. I mean, Piggy and Fly Boy, tried to explain it to her. "

Hot Legs snuggled closer, " What's to explain ? It's their wedding and I think, that it's a good idea. Fly Boys uncle has that big ranch and Piggy's best friend owns that catering service. Your cousin is a professional photographer and Capt Hook offered to furnish the liquor. By next week, they'll have everything they need. Didn't Dan say, that he could get a limo ? "

I ran my fingers through her hair, " Yeah he said he could, but that depends, if the Crooks aren't using it. "

Hot Legs kissed my belly, " That condo in Aspen will sure be nice. Who offered it ? "

I lowered her head, " That's a timeshare deal that my oldest daughter has. Yeah that'll make, for a great honeymoon retreat and the the plane tickets are free. My sister got them, with her free mileage discount. Yep, maybe everything will workout. So far, the the only big ticket item is that wedding dress and Wifey insist on paying for it. "

Hot Legs began massaging it, " You'll see ! Everything will workout fine and they'll have a wedding, they'll never forget. "

So, Hot Leg's went all the way down on me, as I tried to solve the only glitch left. Yep, Wifey had agreed to go along, but there were conditions. All I had to do, was to figure out, how to tell Hot Legs. Yep, that wasn't going to be easy, but a deal, is a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers. your Snazzy1.

 

Uh-oh! I foresee Hot legs crashing the reception and X-wife getting the heck beat out of her by Hot legs ....................

 

So Barney sells his soul to the EX... of course it was for Piggy and Flyboy... Hot Legs will be piqued (HUGE) to say the least... so much for a double wedding, but hey it was for the kids after all. Barney 'ole buddy Me thinks your about to find yourself soooooooooo deeeeeeeeep in the #### it will take all you got to get out if you have some luck. We all know that's not happening... Wish You the best...

 

Ohhhhhh yeah What a mess....Does ol Wifey have designs on Barney again? Does Hot Legs know? Hummm ......... Love and Romance?????????... is a de-zaster Now waiting to happen.....I think Rick and W5IT have the right idea .... I'll agree with you both on this one ....Get the man a stiff drink and a 100 !!!!!........ someones going to need it ! I think! Oh the wicked web is weaved! Lets see how it turns out now .....

 

W5IT sees a wedding crasher, Rik predicts poo hitting the fan and Knife Edge agrees, with both. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

It was early Tuesday morning and I had just stepped from the shower. Hot Legs had fixed us a fine breakfast and was waiting on me. She poured me a cup and dished out our portions. I adjusted my robe and plopped down next to her.

She buttered the toast, " I hope this taste alright. "

I dug in, " It's fine, pass me the salt. Thanks ! "

Hot Legs asked, " When are we going to rent your tuxedo ? I need to find me something to wear and we can kill two birds. "

I was saved by the bell, " Ring, ring, I'll get it ! Hello ? "

Ed, was Ed, " Barney ! I've got a hot load and it needs to be in Memphis as soon, as you can get it there ! Think you can do it ? "

I did the mental math, " It depends ! Do you have something headed straight back here ? One of my daughters is getting married next weekend and... "

Ed swore, " It's a drop and hook, and ready to go ! I'll have dispatch find you a back load and that won't be a problem. "

I agreed, " Alright, I'll be there shortly. See you later, bye ! "

Hot Legs had to ask, " Who was that ? "

I fessed up, " It was Ed and blah, blah, blah.."

Hot Legs protested, " We can't do that ! We won't have time and .. "

I lied, " Here's what I'm thinking, you can make that trip and I'll stay here. That'll give me time to rent my tux and sew up the loose ends. You'll be back in plenty of time and......"

Hot Legs rolled her eyes, " How about me ? I've got get something to wear and shop for a wedding gift. I need to get my hair done and ... "

I lied some more, " You'll have plenty of time ! Ed said, he'd have a load headed back here and .... "

So, Hot Legs went for it. Yep, hook, line and sinker. I helped her pack and followed her over there. She hooked on and headed out. Yep, this might be easier than I thought. No ! I didn't like lying to her and felt bad, about doing it. But hey, it sure beat telling the truth ! I mean ? What else could I do and what options did I have ? Tell the truth ? Sure ! Oh by the way, my X-Wifey doesn't want you at the wedding ! Yeah ! That'd went over big and hurt like hell ! Yep, for the sake of not hurting her feelings and keeping my word. You know, I was desperate and put on the spot. Wifey wouldn't agree, unless Hot Legs. Well, you know ! Anyway, it wasn't like Hot Legs was immediate family. She didn't even know my daughter and .. Well, you know what I mean. So, I called Fly Boy and we met later. You know, at the tux-rental shop. I sashayed around and checked out the mirror. Yep, we looked like a couple of rejects, from a 50's rock band. They were a dark maroon, made out of some sort of cord-of Roy material. They had a red sash that tied around the waist and a white fluffy shirt, with ruffles. No ! Not potato chips ! The pleaded kind, you know.

I lied, " These look real nice ! "

Fly Boy lied, " Mother Goose has good taste and she's the one who picked them out. She wants us to wear white shoes and white car-sausage in our lapels. What do you think ? "

My nose grew, " Peachy ! Just Peachy ! "

So after leaving there, I headed to the shoe store and purchased a pair of white shoes. I swear, I was too ashamed to be seen in public. But hey ! Anything to please Piggy and keep Wifey... No ! Screw Wifey ! This was all for Piggy and ... Well, you know ! Anyway I called Ed, when I got home.

Ring, ring, " Ed ? It's Barney ! "

Ed, was Ed, " What's your problem ? Your suppose to be... "

I was me, " Hot Legs is making that run and she should be halfway there by now. What I was wondering, is can you, uh, uh, ... "

Ed guessed wrong, " I already have dispatch trying to find a load back. They should have something, by the time ... "

I dropped my bomb, " I was wondering, can you find something headed a little futher away. I mean, like headed away from Dallas. You know, maybe Atlanta, or Saint Louis ! "

Ed was confused, " I thought, that you needed to get back.. "

I was honest, " Look, Ed ! I've got a problem here ! My X-Wifey and Hot Legs, well they don't see eye to eye and ... "

Ed got it, " Oh, I see ! You want me to lure Hot Legs away and make sure that she's not in the picture. No problem ! I'll get her a thousand miles away and pull her plug. "

So, that was the plan. Now, I really did feel like a rat ! You know, Hot legs wasn't really the problem. It was X-Wifey and my lack of fortitude that lead up to this. Yeah, I drank myself silly that night and didn't sleep a wink. You know, my mind voices ate at me and well... You know, as Life Goes On. What a deal !

Nightie Night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

dead man walking

 

Well Errrmmmmm......... what can you say...... one more lie and one more lie..... and what happens..... your a dead man walking like pjw044 says ......... LOL.....Good Luck......... you always get found out in the end !

 

I think 'Ol Barney Goose is going to need a replacement for Hot Legs after she finds out what he's doing...