What software do I need?

I have a 2012 freightliner Cascadia with a DD13.
I Took The truck to Freightliner in Hagerstown Maryland Because the engine lights were on.

$300 later they gave me a estimate of $5000 told me I needed a new EGR actuator and the center piece of the manifold because the push rod was broke.
Since then I have bought a used manifold and I have bought a brand new EGR Actuator kit And the push rod is included.
I had another mechanic look at the manifold and he did not see nothing wrong with it So hopefully I can use the one I have.everything seems ok with it. Not sure why Freightliner wanted me to spend $900 To replace it I guess I will find out soon.

Included with the actuator kit are the instructions for replacing it and the last Step says to use diagnostic link to perform the EGR actuator slow learn service routine.

So what I thought I would do is install the actuator and leave it unplugged then take it to freightliner and have them run the software program I am about 90 miles away from a freightliner shop. I wonder if it is OK to drive it like that?

My other possible option that I'm hoping I can do is find out what software I need to perform this myself this way I will have the software for other issues.
If anyone knows the proper software and version and what I need to connect it to my truck I would really appreciate it also if you know where I can get it at a good price please let me know

Also if someone could tell me how to inspect the center manifold and what look for Maybe I can find out why freightliner said to replace it.
Thanks for your replies