How do you keep going on?

Trust me, I know... I kick myself at times... Been out of it to long, now in my 50's. I started in my early early 20's fresh out of the US Navy... I worked with one of the best orthopedic surgeons on the planet at the time at Hutzel Hospital in Detroit and had a future, but screwed up and married the wrong woman. I don't know what your friend does in regards to nursing, I was trauma and such, here is the doc I used to work with, it still makes my skin crawl. Jeff is the guy with the white hair. He is still kicking last I heard, I called him two years ago to see how he was doing... Good guy, and a GOD in the OR. Kregor to hold new Mast Chair in Orthopaedic Trauma (03/13/09)

Jeff hung out in the smokers lounge off of the OR... LOL! I believe he smoked Salem Menthol.

Oh, Jeff is STILL the BEST Ortho surgeon on the planet. Just saying. The sheet we did in there... Now the memories are coming back... Oye! When Dr. Mast was working, I was there, right next to him passing the tools... It was me and Sheryl... What an HONOR!

 

I actually went into college a few years to learn IT.

Guess what I learned instead. Arkansas took in 200 Interns on a H1b visa from India. Doing MY work that is expected of me when I graduate in OUR data center in little rock, sherwood areas.

There is no more point. I cut losses and dropped out of college at the ripe old age of around 45 or so. Being twice the age of the young bucks in that classroom had it's set of challenges. Especially when Im told here is a computer work station. Hack this fella and that fella and take him out in our security class.

I managed to shut one of them down completely and absolutely until he enraged in front of us all. That particular attack against his network and computer was total and complete. The teacher had to rebuild his machine to be ready for tomorrows class that night.

I should celebrate. But I felt really dirty doing this to someone not yet 21. Old age and treachery was alive and well within me and I went to war so to speak with a total focus and joy that I reserved for mountain work.

The teacher had to counsel him and he returned to class two days later. He and I never really got unfrosted with that chill between us. Im not certain if I made a enemy or not. Quite possibly.

But the entire college try was about 46000 dollars in student loans between wife and I, her 4 year was worthless seeing that 10,000 got the same degree and only 1000 job openings in the state. Mine was just enough to be dangerous online. But I enjoyed and am successful in building gaming systems. One of which is approaching 12 years service on the same CPU and it's cooling block. Im getting ready to replace the cooling block, fan and potentially prepare for a new CPU and mother board set when it does burn out.

In any case the very act of building powerful computer desktops are obsolete. Anyone with a smart phone can do the same things a desk top can do now, including gaming for all things... I don't know how to build or fix a smart phone. see?

 

I have know clue what you just said, but I think we are on the same page.... H1B visa holders wiped out you and your wife's college retraining and you are rightfully po'd? I thought Obama had all of that covered? Never trust the government, especially if it is a democrat telling you it is covered.

 

Sir.... When you mentioned the idealation thought that you considered yourself trash.. I have to stand up and rant. NOOOO.

Let's say you did go 7 mph faster across the USA from LA to Jersey, it's only 1 hour saved per mph across 3000 using 50 mph as a average.

The stupid fleets should consider that advantage when they quit denutting trucks and beef em back to run 80 or so.

 

Don't feel like the lone ranger with how your feeling. I'm sure if every one on this website that drives will admit that they have felt the same way hundreds if not thousands of times. One thing that you need to accept or come to grips with is that you can not make a trucker. Either you are or you aren't. Anyone that gets into trucking thinking that it is gonna be a quick easy buck doesn't fully understand the life of a trucker. If you are hurting for money I would suggest looking in the mirror and do a honest appraisal of what you can do to make the money that you do make go towards the priorities. Just like with any career the longer you do it the easier it is to keep doing it. Speaking solely for myself and no one else, it isn't fun out here anymore. You can go from one coast to the other and not hear a single peep on the cb, and it's getting harder and harder to even find anyone to shoot the bull in the truck stop restaurant. Keep your chin up and keep you eye on whatever goal you set for yourself and whatever it is your expecting to get out of trucking. Whether that be eventually a local job so that you can be home more often, own your own truck with your own mc like another responder put on here, or just do it for a while to see the country than say to heck with it. Whatever be the case, as I so long windily tried explaining it, you are not going through something that every single one of us hasn't gone through. It's normal if anything in the trucking industry could be called normal that is. God bless and woot and ride!

 

Regarding fun, there was a time it was fun. I had a load from Seabrook NH to Baltimore travel plaza at the McHenry Tunnel in a absolute perfect textbook 9 hours and 52 minutes pulling the parking brake for the night while it was still late afternoon. I will remember that run always because for once there was no traffic anywhere and that old air breathing big cam made music all the way down champing at the bit. (I had a unlimited truck which was really crappy compared to a 425 cat and the like of the time, but she would get up and run if you had room to do it.)

I felt a pang of regret that I had fun that day and it's time to get dinner and hit the bunk for tomorrow push on to south petersburg va.

I did not know at the time, but it would be the last time I had fun.

Fast forward to the end of my time, I began to enjoy my role as a crew boss herding and educating a bunch of newbie CDL temps part time back in 2009 time period but other problems and life battles were still pending. Compared to cancer it's nothing at all.

I still have some fun now and then even today. But if that ever stops then there is no point.

 

I have been "ruminating" about your OP for the last day. A "ruminant" is an ungulate that chews its cud, so wrap your mind around the concept of mentally chewing your cud.

I got back into trucking five years ago after a thirty year hiatus. I did two years at Swift, the last year as a trainer. I know what you are talking about, the micromanagent thing.

Two and a half years ago I left Swift to flatbed to the oil patch. A year ago I bought my own truck, it's now paid for. I expect to have my trailer paid off in a year from today.

I can honestly say that every day I GET to drive is a blessing. I love my job.

Even when I was in the Swift micromanagent system I loved my job. BUT, I love my job far more today.

Think "outside the box". Dry van is the lowest paying freight on the market, therefore your opportunity for a great paycheck is reduced. Reefer is better, flatbed or tanker is even better.

It's a RARE day not to be addressed as "Sir" or "Boss" by a shipper or receiver for me now. There's a ton of respect in my line of work.

Every day brings something new, a new chance to prove that I am a complete rookie. "Wait, WHAAATTT!!!??? You're going to put WHAT on my deck!!!???"

THEN I have to figure out how to secure the load. Sometimes it takes hours to do it right, but there's a real feeling of pride, driving down the road with a tight load. It's even better when I pull into a truck stop and a fellow flatbedder comes up and says, "Nice securement! What the HECK is THAT!!!???"

 

In my case WHAT?! is followed by profanity of some kind. Then I start tossing stuff onto the deck.

I remember three machines for a machine shop they eased onto my deck, beautiful works of art, essentially lathes etc. I was fine with them until someone coughed and told me the shop did 3 months night and day making them custom to order from nothing and there they were 30 of them watching me.

I got them delivered without damage. But I cannot be doing work that light and slow. It's just almost too much to have 30 peoples worth of love so to speak on the deck.