Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Sounds like........ FUN FUN fun................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Barney, you da man!!!

 

May-be ole Barney has another round left in him??? But I say Look out, and where are the specks...

 

Knife thinks it sounds like fun and Kenmar believes that Barney is the man. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Bushy Beaver was all excited, " There's something wrong, with your friend and you need to check on him ! "

I started getting dressed, " What's the deal ? Is he alright ? "

Bushy pointed, " He's in there talking gibberish and acting strange. I don't know, what's wrong with him ! "

So, I finished dressing and told the girls to stay put. You know, until I figured out what the deal was. I peeped through the doorway and spotted Albert. He was seated on the bed and had on his zapper glasses. I knew, not to make eye contact, so I shielded my eyes. You know, the old hand salute above my brows and careful not to look his way.

Albert removed them, " #### ! I really did it this time ! Come on in Barney and have a seat. You know, I'm really not from Hawaii and I'm not on vacation. I'm a scientist and work for the Department of Defense. These glasses here are something I invented and they make people tell the truth. Boy, did I screw up and this is awful ! "

I lit up a 100, " What happened ? Bushy Beaver is all upset and said, that .."

Albert grew angry, " She's the reason this happened ! I was trying to zap her and she was standing, by that mirror. Anyway, somehow I zapped myself and now I'm screwed. #### glasses ! You see, I smuggled these out and was trying to make contact, with my government. I'm a Chinese National and hoped to benefit my home country. You Americans can't handle something this dangerous. "

I blew smoke, " Then why did you work for us and try to develop secret weapons ? I mean, that doesn't make any sense ! "

Albert explained, " All the weapons that I've worked on are nonlethal. They don't kill, or injure anyone and if they're used right. Well, they can benefit mankind and replace deadly ones. These are just too dangerous and need to be placed in responsible hands. You understand, don't you ? "

I didn't, " No ! I mean, what's the difference ? I'm sure that any government out there, would abuse it ! They'd use them to spy on other countries, make common citizens fess up and admit to things. Keep political opponents from taking office and use them, for their own agenda. "

Albert rubbed his eyes, " Your right and I know, what your saying ! Gees, this is awful and what am I going to do ? I can't go back to work and ... "

I dropped my bomb, " Yeah, you can ! Look, I'm really not a trucker. Well, I am, but I also work for .... "

So, as I was explaining things, or trying to. Yep, you guessed it ! Nick and his swat team rushed in and took control of things. You know, weapons drawn, dogs barking, helicopters circling and stuff.

Albert froze, " The glasses are over there and here's the remote key ! Please don't hurt me and I really do like Americans ! It's your government that I don't understand. Can we talk this over ? "

Nick secured the glasses, " Good job Barney ! Yeah, we can talk this over, but not here. You'll need to come with us and have some explaining to do. "

So, Nick escorted Albert out the door and I returned to my room. Nope ! The Beavers had flown the coup and I was left high and dry. Yep, I'd left my wallet in there and it was minus ... Well, you know ! Yep I guess, ol Bushy Beaver wasn't the only sticky fingered one. Of course, there wasn't much to steal and what the hell. Yep, I'd done got my monies worth and .. Well you know, what I mean, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Yep, ya gotta pay 2 play......or is it? steal a feel, honey 4 the money...it's somethin' like that...after 3 divorces, I just can't remember !!!

 

Poor ol Barney got stuck with it again eh! I wonder if I could borrow those Glasses for a few hours LOL

 

You can't handle the glasses... you would end up like Albert. I know you just want to know every thing... Man Barney got stuck for the bill, well at least he got his money's worth...

 

Since Barney was playing Secret Agent Man, can't he just put all that stuff on an expense report? After all, it was job related.

 

Creekrd suffers from memory loss, after 3 divorces. Hmm, I wonder why ? Knife wants to borrow them glasses. What a deal ! Rikdev thinks Barney got his monies worth and Kenmar suggest padding the expense account. Good comments, so Snazzy points all around, as Life Goes On.

I got a load headed back to Dallas and made it as far, as someplace between here and there. The truck stop was filled to capacity and I was lucky to find a spot. Drivers were milling around, diesel fumes filled the air, as the earth shook. You know, under the Cat's purring, Detroit's Detroiting, and the Cummings, well comming. It was bitter cold, but dry and clear. The CB chatter was mostly Trucker Rambo rants, with an occasional Commercial Beaver harking her goods. My mood was somber and I was a bit under the weather. Well, a little hungover and maybe a touch of flu like symptoms. Ol' Blue had been trying to tell me something and I knew she was doing her best. Yep, between the long miles and harsh weather. Well, it hadn't been easier on her. Of course she was still under that extended warranty and I had kept her preventive main-ten-ants current. Anyway, her eyes had been a bit dim and her starter seemed to be a bit sluggish. I sat staring at her volt meter and raced her engine a few rpms. Yep, something wasn't right and I sure didn't want to take any chances. You know, being stranded in the middle of nowhere and at the mercy of some ripoff joint. So, I sashayed over to the service shop and inquired within. You know, how long would it take, did they honor my warranty and stuff like that. Well, the answers weren't to my liking. I mean, they were booked solid and couldn't promise that my warranty would cover everything. Now, the good news was that there was a Freight Shaker dealership not far away. Matter of fact it was just across the street and not five minutes away. So, I gave them a call and decided to bobtail over. You know, I checked with the truck stop manager and she agreed to let me drop my trailer. Yep, it's always best to make sure. I mean, the last thing a driver needs is to have his trailer towed off. Anyway, I bobtailed over and parked out front. The dealership was fair sized and their shop was huge. You know, a dozen bay doors facing the street and big rigs parked all over the place. I pulled my pudd, err.. the yellow knob and sashayed inside. The service desk had a line a mile long. Well, at least four drivers deep. I snatched a plastic number and waited my turn.

The Number Caller, " Number 26 ? "

I won the lottery, " I'm number 26 and called you earlier, about checking out my charging system. It might be a battery, or it could be ... "

Number Caller had heard enough, " Take this to door number two and they'll take a look. "

I had to ask, " Now, my warranty will cover this, won't it ? "

Number Caller got snooty, " Well, that depends ! Your warranty will cover most of your cost, but somethings aren't covered. Like batteries, belts, tires and lot lizards. Now, most of that is covered, by their own warranties. "

I got it, " Well, those batteries aren't a year old and I'm pretty sure it's not the belt. Well, I'll take it back there and let them see what's up. "

So, I sashayed back to Ol' Blue and honked the city horn. You know, so they'd open that bay door and let me in. It slowly raised and I was hand waved inside. Yep, there was another bay door, at the end of the lane. So, I drove all the back and parked a few feet from it. The shop was busy as Beavers on a dam. Yep, air wrenches screaming, men hollering and such. The blue uniform displayed ' David ' on it's pocket. I pulled the yellow knob and climbed down.

I was polite, " This is the paperwork and I need the charging system checked out. She isn't .... "

David snatched it, " Go ahead and open your hood. I'll be right back ! "

So, I undid her straps and played yank on her hood. You know, one foot stuck in her bumper and the other one doing the splits. David returned with a Gizmo and plugged it in.

He barked his orders, " Driver ! Get in there and raise her up to 1,500 rpms and hold it there ! That's good ! "

I climbed back down, " What do you think ? "

David mumbled, " Mumble, mumble, might be the mumble, but I'll need to mumble, mumble, and see if it's a dead cell, or mumble, mumble ! "

It was clear as mud, " So you think it might be the batteries, or maybe just one with a bad cell ? " What about the alternator ? "

David shrugged, " Mumble, mumble, mumble ! The mumble, on the pie cost shows, mumble, mumble ! I'll hook up the charger and then get a reading. Go ahead and shut her off. It'll be awhile and mumble, mumble, mumble. "

So, I shut her down and decided to kill two birds. Yep, I grabbed my shower bag and sashayed across the street. You know, back to the truck stop to get cleaned up and eat a bite. I mean, why stand around and look stupid ? David seemed to have things in hand and besides that, I needed a shower and a hot meal. Of course, I left my cell number at the service desk and they'd call me the minute they knew something. I doubled checked on my dropped trailer and everything appeared fine. Just to be safe I went ahead latched on my king pen lock. You know, the do hickey that keeps drivers honest. Yep, nobody was going to steal my load and that was fact ! Anyway, I sang a few tunes in the shower stall, played with my rubber Ducky and scrubbed the boys clean. The Greasy Spoon's dinner buffet wasn't all that bad and I left a decent tip. Yep, there wasn't much else left to do, so I sashayed back over there and climbed back in. The shop had grown quiet and I assumed that they were on break. Anyway, I pulled back the curtains and began storing my gear. You know, keeping things neat and ... What was that ? What ? That ! There it goes again ! Yeah, I felt it ! I wonder what they're doing and if they know I'm in here ? Look, in the mirror ! What the hell ? This is weird, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

dang it driver, can't stay outta trouble for 1 day !