A Confession

Merle & george

 

As we age, we gain experience, as we gain experience, we gain wisdom. As we gain wisdom, we leave behind the areas of life that pertain to inexperience and lack of wisdom. At least to some degree or another.

I agree though, the old music is better. The new “country” just annoys me. There isn’t much depth to the lyrics, the rhythm of it sucks. I liken it to hitting the gas pedal, and backing off, repeatedly. And just where did the steel guitars and fiddles go?

Don’t get me started on rap and hip hop.... seems like there was a time when rock was more like country than country is today.

 

"You will die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

The bitter old guys are the ones that still want to be the hero of the story. They remember when they were young and attractive and had pretty hair and had the young good looking girls telling them how pretty their hair was. And there was the "One," the one true love, the soul mate. Somewhere along the line, she didn't appreciate what you had to offer or what you were bringing to the table. Why not? All of her friends and all of the media for women told her that she could do better than you, Mr Blue Collar Working Man. And then you heard that speech that all the hero types hate to hear.

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you. It's not you, it's me..."

And the guy she left you for was a villain and he dragged her arse through the mud. It completely made no sense...not to you or to any other woman. For the next woman you met told you that she would appreciate a man like you, but she too, left you for a villain.

The villains in your stories wore those villainous boots, and drove those villainous trucks, and roamed planet earth on those villainous Harleys.

"What happened to me, Six? What is happening to me, Six????"


Do you remember when you were you and good-looking and stupid and still believed in those media fairie tales about how the good guy gets the girl? You'd do all of these stupid things because of peer pressure and you wanted the validation of the young girls. Well, one day you heard a voice in your head. This voice told you that you were stupid, and played a scene in your mind of your stupidity to prove a point. Over and over again. Every time you'd do something stupid, every time you got betrayed by someone you thought of as a friend, every time some girl would dump you, you'd hear that voice. And relive those scenes. Who was this voice talking to you?

"My conscience?"

Worse. It was the Ultimate version of You. Ultimate You. Smarter, wiser, worlds stronger, slower, calmer You. The conflict that you have is between Good You (that dumb kid who thought he knew everything) and the Ultimate You. You are a mix of the two. The Ultimate You would love to destroy the Good You in a heartbeat, but in typical heroic fashion, Good You keeps coming back, bouncing back to fight with the Ultimate You. Thus, the eternal internal conflict.

"So Six, are you saying that Ultimate version of ourselves is a villain?"

In your story, yes.

 

It gets worse. When I was 50 I was still cursing "old farts" and wondering why people in their 60's and 70's are like they are. When they got to the 80's I started cutting them some slack.
Now I am an old fart. Try to maintain a positive attitude, but with daily reminders of creaky bones and dubious memory, well...

 

Many things distain I about myself. And utterly despise modern technology as it is made to fail often, and with great cost.
"The problem's plain to see: too much technology
Machines to save our lives. Machines dehumanize." Dennis De Young.

 

You came to this realization just in time. the Old School is new since they all left because of the BS

 

I must say I am impressed by the tone of this thread. So many here digging down deep to expose fountains of feeling. I even liked the somber revelations of your dark sides. Who would have guessed such currents to flow beneath these rough exteriors?

You guys (and gals?) make me proud to be a (sometimes) humble trucker.