Advice needed if possible

Dude, seriously just go lie down on a freeway and wait for death. Cause nobody wants your abuse here.

 

Good jobs are out there but they go to the best employees. Notice I did not say best drivers. Good companies look for good people that are willing to get the jog done.

 

You lack understanding, among other things. The 90% of proud truckers you mock don't need a job title to feel proud. They're proud because they make personal sacrifices to bring just about every freaking thing in my house, TO my house. Proud isn't a job title, junior. It's satisfaction in doing what you said you would do regardless what anyone says.