Lonely or not?

Discussion in 'Questions From New Drivers' started by Gilbert24, May 1, 2015.

  1. Gilbert24

    Gilbert24 Bobtail Member

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    Jul 27, 2014
    Calgary, AB
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    As a new driver at 23 years old who loves driving, can being away from home all the time cause depression and loneliness?
    I mean I was away all week but home on weekends and it still felt like I was working 24/7.
    At the end of the day job is done and then you basically park and go to sleep, no one to talk to or no friends to see sit and have a beer with.
    Two days of freedom and being social seems a little sad.
    Like I said.. I enjoy driving and being on the road I'm just afraid that I won't have a family one day.
    Maybe if I work hard now and save my money.. down the road I can get my own truck and do local work?
    I don't really know, but I'm just afraid of not having a wife and kid and if I did i'd be afraid that I wouldn't be there with them every night.
    Can anyone lend me some positive advice or suggestions?
     
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  3. clausland

    clausland Road Train Member

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    I was a spit younger than you when I started, way back in my wandering years....It seemed I was always interested in what was over the next hill and seeing new places....Lonely, not as I recall, but then again I was always like a lone pine on the mountain top anyway....It's after you marry and the kids come that you don't want to be gone all the time, least that's the way it was with me...
     
  4. Flashdrive7

    Flashdrive7 Medium Load Member

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    This is one of the most serious aspects about Truck Driving. And one that few drivers want to talk about. When non- driver friends ask me how we deal with it I tell them it's never easy, just something we learn to cope with. Most days on the road the only companionship I have is a brief conversation with a fellow driver at the restaurant counter or an even shorter one with a friendly waitress. On occasional nights I might have the company of a lady. They especially always say "how can you live the way you do?" You're young, which can be a great thing .But its also the time in your life when it's natural to enjoy the company of others.

    My own period when I was around your age is not very pleasant to remember. I won't go into the details here, but above all it was extremely lonely. In some ways its an advantage for me now because of the job we do. I have no family really. My parents are gone, along with one sibling and I am hopelessly estranged from my remaining sibling. I have never married and have no kids of my own. The funny part is that even if I could start again I doubt if I would change it much. My own routine on the job is rather simple. I go out on runs for about two to three weeks then go home for about a week. I don't even keep an apartment right now because sometimes I'm gone for a month or more. On breaks I relax, tend to personal business, shop, eat the foods I enjoy most, watch movies and video, and look for a place to enjoy Karaoke as I plan on tonight. Some may say to me "you need to get a life" But I tell them I have one. its the choices I made, and the path that was determined for me by the One above. Whatever you decide with your life and your career as a Trucker will be your choice as well. Best of Luck..
     
  5. TripleSix

    TripleSix God of Roads

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    Before I was a driver, I did a stint as a law man. Seems like everyone I hung out with were lawmen. Went to their bars, and their breakfast joints. If you are in uniform and carrying a sidearm, all of your friends are too. Put the shield on and instantly, your circle of friends changes.

    So now I am a driver. The guys I see are all heavy haulers. We go to the same truckstops and the same bars around the continent (some of us go to Canada and some of the gang are Canadian). It's actually funny to walk into a bar in a different state and find out someone in the place met you before because you were part of a rig move. You pick up a girlfriend along the way who is either along your route or at a place you frequent. Or your lady at the house comes to ride with you for a week at a time.

    You will realize that even if you were at home every day, your circle of friends is going to change. One buddy gets married to a girl that you can't stand, and you don't hang out any more. One gets locked up, one has a kid, and all of your stupid friends from high school all die early. Funny thing is, when I ran local, all my friends were local drivers. We'd see each other a few times during the day, ran the same schedules. And on the weekend, I didn't want to go anywhere in town because I'd been everywhere. Only thing I wanted to do was sit at home and watch the races. Guess you can say that I just adapt to whatever the situation.
     
  6. akfisher

    akfisher Road Train Member

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    Gilbert24, dont worry about that yet! Dont rush into life buddy it does its things and whats meant to be is meant to be. I have been a commercial fisherman since I was 18 and 7 years a truck driver. I have a 15, 14, and 11 year old Sons. I am still married and only made it to 4 birthdays and never spent my own with my family. I am at sea all summer. My oldest goes now but for years I was all alone with crew. I then drove OTR in winters. I love my family more than anything in the world but the open road calls some guys like me. I cant stop thinking about it. I like to fish but its really for the money.
     
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  7. dieselfuelonly

    dieselfuelonly Road Train Member

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    I started driving at 23 too. Especially if you're used to having a real social life, OTR can be tough. Only got a couple days at home a month and it seems like on those few days you are home your friends schedule never matches up with yours. A local job may get you some more time at home, but look carefully at the type of schedule you may be running, are you going to be running nights? Will you be getting home tired and the only thing you want to do is go home, eat a quick meal and go to sleep so you can wake up and repeat the next day?

    I own my own truck now and I do spend more time at home than most company drivers. But it's not the answer to everything. A lot of my time at home is spent working on my truck, keeping my books updated, etc. For many it's nice just to be able to drop the company truck off at the terminal and go home and not have any problems with a truck and/or business looming over your head while you are there.

    Sometimes I worry about how this lifestyle will impact the rest of my life as well. I want to get married at some point, and while I don't really think that having kids is my thing, it would still be difficult to make a relationship work being gone so much. Unfortunately I LOVE this job and can't see myself doing anything else. Will be interesting to see how the rest of that unfolds.
     
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  8. sherlock510

    sherlock510 Road Train Member

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    Can't call it lonely, but ya are alone for a large portion of the day. Already been 2.5 years for me and I've gotten used to it, didn't take long at all. Most people back home are doing pretty much the same thing they were before I left so I'm not missing much...

    The women ya meet plus other drivers from the company keep ya mind off "being by yourself".
     
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  9. reefer101

    reefer101 Medium Load Member

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    its hard when in your 20s living in truck and truckstops when you could be out with friends in a company of young 20s beautiful females. I started in my 30s
     
  10. Captain Canuck

    Captain Canuck "Captain of the Ship"

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    Personally, I have found that being home 2 days a week makes things worse. I need 2 days to wind down, and a day or so to get set to go out again, so by taking 4 days off at a time, at least I get 1 day of doing nothing if that's what I feel like. I'm usually at the house 8 days a month or so, and I'd rather be home for 4 days at a time than get home Friday midnight and roll out again Monday morning.

    But to directly answer your question, yes, this life can absolutely cause depression and loneliness. Keeping ties to the people you're missing goes a long way toward helping maintain your sanity. (A good bluetooth headset and a solid unlimited calling plan are a MUST)

    You want to save money by buying groceries and eating out of the truck, but you want to at least have a shot at some casual socializing at the truck stop restaurant counter. Hitting the balance is key.

    No two drivers I know handle it the same way, and some just don't handle it at all. No shame in that.

    Now if I were you and 23 again, I would make hay while the sun shines and run the wheels off that thing, only hitting the house when I had a good reason to. I still do it that way sometimes, but a month on the road is my absolute maximum. After that I start getting a little... well, weird.

    When you've been on the road so long that you don't WANT to go home, point it at the house. You need some down time and a little reality check, just like we all do.
     
  11. Ridgeline

    Ridgeline Road Train Member

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    Positive advice is not to get into this work if you can't deal with it.

    Many can't and have problems with it throughout their lives while others just view it as a part of the job and deal with it.

    Now with all the technology that connects people, there really isn't a need to worry about it, but back say in 1980, that's a different story.
     
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