Trucking can be like a bad marriage...

The odd thing was, he, they, didn't charge me any interest...this mysterious man paid off the remaining balance on the truck...and I paid him...

He didn't check my credit, nothing...but of course he knew where I lived...through paper work...

Here's what I think...I almost think I was meant not to pay him back...like they were hoping I would mess up...so that they could step in and do whatever...

So I think I foiled their plans in that I ended up being the perfect loanee...I even paid that crap off early...

As far as jail or prison...sometimes I wish I could build a luxury jail resort...
Where you go through the whole experience of jail or prison...but in luxury...

Nice beds, HDTV...nice meals brought to your cell...wine, whatever....

If I were a billionare, I'd love to buy a old abandoned prison and turn it into like a fantacy type resort...where ones worst fears could be realized...but in a safe controled manner...

I bet ya such a resort would be booked up years in advance...

Anyhow man...my Friday night will consist of me driving down some dark roads, with Bill O'Reily yelling at me through the radio....oh...I just wanna cry....

Thank you man so much...for helping to keep my moral up during these times...it really does matter to me...and it really does help...

Thank you for allowing me to feel human again on here...and not like some 'freak object'...to be ignored and avoided...

You say you don't believe in God...but I feel him in you..at least the things I've always associated with the Savior...the love, the kindness, the understanding...and the just being there...and getting down in the trenches with...

You are a special human being...and have touched my life, my soul...just by being there...

Thanks...

 

So here it goes...

Some of you are very special...shy...but special...your scared...not very strong...use to following the 'crowd'...

Your intentions are 'good'...but you haven't the fortitude or strength to act....

Your lonely, and in need of a friend...but to weak to reach out...

At night, you sleep alone...longing for companionship...

Your biological chips continue to multiply...



you look in the mirror and think this is the sum total of who you are...
Pre programed flesh....

Then there's others of you...who go beyond the whole pre-programmed thing...

The sum of your being is spirit...and your of a different realm...



Your not bound by the politics or flesh of this world...

Your different, like me...we are not of here...

Continue to hold on...and let's see what happens...

 

I could raise an army.....an army of justice...and mercy...




I know your out there...waiting...for a leader...chill...chill for now...but I feel you...me and my general U4EA feel you...

Underworld....that is our slogan...Underworld for life...

We have been...we have seen, we have been spit upon...

We feel your pain...we are your pain....and we express it on a daily basis....

This movement is not about color, gender or age...rather it's about sentiment....



He was once a beautiful prince...stripped of his rightful throne by corrupt coniving officials...

Can you see beauty in this image??
If so...you are of us...

We are not of this realm...you know who you are....

Now do me a favor...and all of you...please spread your wings....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWyeVfuolT4

I love you...and we are one...and we will over come...

Spread your wings and fly with me....fly with me....




Don't let them push you around...your worth more than that...

 

I kinda sorta got carried away with my emotions...

I guess here's why...

For a trade or profession i have invested so much in, time, years, life...
There's so little return....

In any other profession it just seems you get more return from your colleagues...

Go to any other message board...for Engineers, teachers, pilots, MD's, computor sciences ect ect....
And there's just a different energy....
Cause in those proffesions you have to work with others, as teams, to over come challenges of the company...

In trucking...you just work alone...in the shadows of society...and it reflects on here in certain places...

I mean beyond nuts and bolts, the trucking enviornment doesn't really teach people how to socialize, or how to develop interpersonal skills...it just teaches you to be a loner, and like it...

Like those lonely woodchucks you see gathering food on the prairie...



They're content to scurry along all day gathering grub and building up fat..for the cold winter....it's just their nature...they don't want friendship or companionship...they just want to eat, sleep, and be left alone...
(witht the driver, the truck becomes their, our, bourogh..where we run and hide for comfort)

And sadly, many drivers have tooken on that nature...long haul ones particularly....a woodchuck mentality....

Sometimes you probablly have to, as a way of insulating ones self from the 'pain' of lonliness...or reality...
It's almost like 'Well, If I can't do anything about my life, or situation, I may as well shut down my emotional side, rather than agonize over things'....

And by doing so build up walls...that soon no one can penetrate...not even family...You really have to watch that...

Then you have others like myself, who refuse or just simply can't, turn off the emotional side...the emotional engine is always running at full steam...and no enviornment can change that...
We're always thinking, planning, pondering, and agrivating over things, short comings in our lives...cause we want to be so much better...want to use what we have now to be better...before it's tooken away...

So then you go out, and try to find inspiration within your work enviornment...and there really is none...

Most are clamy and cold and want to be left alone...like the woodchuck...



And if you get to close, they'll bite...

But in their own little worlds they, these socially reclose drivers, do wierd things...like speed through truck stops doing 50 mph...not ever considering others safety....
Or tail gating you for miles, without ever saying anything or considering the danger in that...

Or writing nasty graffiti on the bathroom stalls...nasty mean things that reflect their own soul.....

Because drivers emotionally 'hide' themselves from other drivers...it creates a very impersonal, non polite, work enviornment...

Where everyone assumes the worst about the other guy, instead of just talking to them and asking what's going on....

And I exist in this enviornment as somewhat of an anomoly...

You should see when I open my mouth and start talking in a animated intellegent manner...they look at me and each other like..

Hey, he's a driver isn't he?...he's not suppose to speak his mind in a fun loving animated manner...what's wrong with them? He has way to much emotional flair and savvy to be a driver'....

It's like frowned upon to be over happy and animated out here...
And what happens is, many of you come out here like that, get no feed back, and so begin to reflect the mood around you....

It's hard not to sucumb to that at times...even for me...
You can easily begin demonizing all the drivers around you and looking for the worst in them, rather than the best...

And it's also a 'old mans' trade...I mean let's face it...most drivers I encounter throughout the day are older males...over 40...probablly the bulk of otd are in the 50's....

So in all fairness one can't expect a 59 year old driver to run around acting like he's a 22 year old frat boy...those days are long behind them...

As you age, you mature..(someone forgot to tell me that)...and your emotions smoothen out...that's just natural...(except for David Lee Roth and Mick Jagger)...

So what happens is trucking takes up so much of your time and energy, with no social element...then when you get off work, your to tired and worn to do anything..and when you do feel better...it's back to work again where you spend long grueling hours working around drivers that behave like wood chucks...



Hey buddy, leave me alone, your wierd, your to hyper...I've got food, a place to park, and a warm bed to sleep in...I don't need nothing else in me life

Actually this woodchucks kinda cute...wish I could rub it's belly...

 

In all fairness...not all drivers share my 'bad marriage' anology with trucking...

Some drivers, maybe even most, do quite well out here, both finacially and emotionally....

Many drivers have wonderful families, wives, kids, that are really supportive of what they do...and that's key...you must have that support...



You will often see drivers with their kids in tow, during summer break...it makes a big difference in your life when you have someone admiring you for what you do, and often becomes a sorce of inspiration for the driver to keep on at it...

Bottom line, trucking can work for you...but like with anything else...you really do need a good support system...whether friends, or family, or even church...

 

Oh my gosh ladies and gentleman...I didn't realize I had a guest...where are my manners...




Let's welcome blackw900....

I pretty much stay out of his way, cause he's an 'old dog'...and I mean that as a term of endearment...

Meaning he has learned how to make trucking work for him...
He probablly has a well balanced life...home, family and play...where as i don't...

I have nothing but respect for the guy...

My aim is not to tarnish trucking or truckers...rather it's to examine my place within all of it...

So keep on trucking...those of you who can, and who love it...