Broken families and lost loves and screwed-up kids

Absolutely not. At least not in every case. I have been driving OTR 22 years, almost. Been happily married 25 years this past August. We still laugh, cuddle, etc and just enjoy each other. We have 3 sons. They are 12, 19, and 22. All are always spoken highly of by friends, teachers, people at church, in restaurants, etc. We commonly hear how friendly, polite and happy our boys are. The 2 older ones are both in college. No drug issues, drinking problems, or criminal records. Youngest is in 7th grade. 5 A's and 2 B's so far. They all listen to me and their mom. When I get home they are truly happy to see me. You can have a good family life as an OTR driver. It isn't always easy, and I have missed a few things. But I just have to find ways to make it up to them. They know we have to make a living. They also know I love them.

 

no wife, no kids, no car.. no ties downs. That's the way I'm doing it

no way I'd be doing OTR if I had a family

 

A family with strong foundations is able to function under such conditions. A father and a mother that understand family values, have moral standards and exercise virtues will stay strong 100% no matter what. A lot has to do with how we project and perceive emotions, but most important is how we transmit them to our kids. You tell a kid that Mom or Dad aren't there because of trucking and the outcome would be a resentful son or daughter. On the other hand, if you project the image of a very important job that Mom or Dad are doing for the benefit of the whole family and the outcome would be a more desirable one.

I guess more important than the "effects of trucking" would be knowing how well a family is prepared to adapt to any significant change that may come about.

A family that fails because of trucking is a family that was bound to fail from the get-go.

 

don't have a family if you're going to be OTR, plain and simple

 

I think a family that can survive years of military service being deployed is just as hard if not even harder than being a driver. At least with being a driver you have the opportunity to go home more often. My wife and I survived 3 deployments and someone lying to her saying i was cheating on her. Evidence and an ### beating forced that person to tell the truth. These families that are constantly breaking up due to whatever reasons were destined to fail from the start. it takes communication honesty and trust between both individuals.

 

My boyfriend and I have a wonderful relationship.If he was to go otr I would not worry one bit about him going astray but I don't know if I would want him to be gone for weeks then home for a few short days.We would deffinately have a talk.We value each others opinion.

 

I would have to agree with Gunner. 2 deployments (27 months total) and telling the wife I am going to start trucking and I will be out 3-4 weeks at a time, she just shrugged her shoulders and said "if that is what you want to do." This is the kind of supporting wife I have had for the past 7 1/2 years (a little over 6 of which in the Army). We have strong bonded marriage and she is secure at home taking care of things while I will be out.

Seeing I was in a combat MOS in the Army, she is ecstatic the fact that I get to come home every 3 weeks or so, make better than average money than getting a local job around here and she does not have to worry about no communication for 3-8 weeks due to combat missions, if I will come back in a casket or lose a limb from a road side bomb.

I have grown up around the industry by both family and friends. I have seen my own family break up after he came OFF of the road because after 12 years they were at each others throats for being together TOO much... I never got that until I came back from my first deployment... now I understand what he was talking about.

 

We all make sacrifices. Anyone who is successful in any profession has made sacrifices. You will miss some school events and time with your family, but that isn't exclusive to trucking. I have known drivers on both sides of this issue. Some have had long successful marriages while others have failed and divorced. It is much easier to stay in touch today than when I first started. I have traveled most of my adult life. I was traveling when my wife and I first met over 38 years ago. We are still together.

It is important to earn a good living to keep things going at home. Mothers and wife's usually develop more independence if they are married to a trucker or anyone who is away from home. Being home and spending time with family and friends can take a little more planning. During the years my wife and I have been together I think that I have only missed two major holidays.

 

families survive all kinds of things
truckers are not the only ones not home
executives fly around the world spend more time in hotels then home
guys work 3rd shift sleep all day when the kids are up
local truckers work 14 hour days then sleep all day sat to catch up

soccer moms home all day with 9-5 husbands have kids in trouble too