What if it Snows?

Ok.

There is a Toilet Paper Mill. They have made that commercial recycled paper for ages. Mountains of them. Cheap paper that tear while you are using it. Or trying to at work, rest areas, institutions etc. The paper mill knows how to make a mountain of that REALLY FAST and REALLY CHEAPLY. Support the whole Nation at work trying to clean themselves.

Now.

That Paper mill does do a little bit of plush Charmin. Such squeezing of profits er.. wait... Charmin is really hard and difficult to make.

FIRE America, close up everything. Send tens of millions home with 20 dollars in the pocket. They don't know when they will work again if ever.

2 rolls of toilet paper in the closet coast to coast in every home.

EVERYONE storms the store 5 weeks ago for that Charmin in BALES. FIGHT for 5 bales to overflow cars and so on. Pallets of them.

And it's gone.

The Mill gets a phone call from 10,000 walmart stores. They are told stop making that cheap crap no one needs or buys anymore and convert the place to making nothing but plush luxury charmin and HURRY up. We need all of it yesterday.

Its really hard for the mill to make lots of Charmin. Its like a fine dinner. Cooks a while in the kitchen.

STores get empty all over America. Then Amazon gets emptied out. Then 200 million people call or visit Mill Sales online wanting bales of that nice toilet paper. Mill is forced to close internet sales and stop phone orders.

Fast foward 2 weeks later.

Truckers scared of getting sick. Rates fall to .50 a mile loaded. Mill suddenly cannot find enough trucks.

Dollar stores have old people standing at the shelf swearing on all that's holy that empty wall of toilet paper to wait until the stock clerk carts a bale out off the truck. Which is not expected until next week.

Suddenly America understands there is not a roll of Charmin to be bought anywhere.

Except for a price baby.... and so it goes.

There is one thing that did get settled by all this.

Some yankees took a road trip to pay me a visit. How nice of them. Pour them some sweet tea and fix up some vittles make them at home. What do they do when they see a closet full of nice toilet paper by the bale from floor to ceiling? (A years worth) They laughed and thought I was a nutter. How stupid to have all that.

Fast forward 4 years. They KNOW of that closet.

So I spend my nights leaning against it with my colt across my coat one eye on the doorframe.

 

I'm convinced it's political. Then went from there.

 

As a side note I wondered if Americans have discovered Bidets yet.

Ya know those thimigigs that spray everywhere and make a such a mess.

 

I remember that one from grade school.

 

540 pounds?

60 miles?

Thats what 10 gallons? 8 per gallon maybe 80 pounds.

Otherwise it becomes a game of pounds. It will cost the state more to spend the time in enforcement efforts against you on that measly overweight axle. Then again Maryland will almost have a orgasm for lack of a better term if you showed up that overweight. Ugh.

If you move the 5th wheel up, you are adding more to drives. Try moving it one hole back.

 

Or Heavy's stamp of approval

"Like a present"

Or the frown of failure...

"Look there is a loose flapping corner. I am shamed of you. Whats matta? you lazy?"

=)

Its all good.

 

It is already all the way back. I thought moving it forward would transfer some weight to steers ?

 

Hey.. they don't make any mess.. gotta know how to use it... BTW, they used to be in each and every home in Brasil till some decades ago... some still have it.. but nowadays they use a hose with a spray nuzzle that comes from the wall next to the toilet... my apartment in Rio has one... pretty handy... See the hose coming from the wall next to the toilet in the picture? There used to be a bidet in that place..



Still, folks have been buying all the toilet paper in Brasil I was told...

 

Some truck drivers have figured it out. That is why u see empty water bottles in the stalls lol