Someone Help Me

you won't survive waiting for the checks (money) to come in, it'll take a long time.

NO, the freight business has more curves than a california highway.

YES, certainly...........even with "breakdaown pay", that doesn't amount to a hill of beans, as "breakdown pay" is like less than minimum wage....and THAT'S TAXABLE TOO.....!!

NO.........even with days OR weeks advance notice, he can be sent on a load 3,00 miles away from home 3-4 days BEFORE his "off time", and they ain't gonna break their humps getting him home. they will just say "sorry buddy"..................

it could be just a few hours, if there is a drop off or pick-up in the area. it could be a mere 24 hours, it could be 36 hours, it could be 48 hours. a typical "weekend" for truck drivers is any 2 days off in a row. either a monday-tuesday, or thursday-friday, got it..........??

you won't. you will always wonder where he is, who he's with, etc,etc.

yes, but never expect the big fistfulls of money the ads show you. afterall, that "fistfull of money" can be devalued canadian money, or all 1 dollar bills................

again, i say, that when people have their "proverbeal" backs against the wall, they think that becoming a truck driver is easy and highly paying. its neither. just because "he always wanted to drive" means nothing but false misleading comments by the person asking in a state of desperation. being desperate is NO REASON to get into trucking. the hardships for a first timer getting into this are surmountable, from low pay, lousey benefits, away time, stress from the road, and home, money issues, and so-on and so-forth...........

i fear this is the worst possible solution you two are getting into..........

desperation (my interpetation of your posts) will lead you down a path of no return...........

 

I have to agree with what alot of the others have posted. I was a trainer for awhile and I saw to many of my trainees get into trucking because they thought they were going to make alot of money. Most of them after only a few months left the industry because they didn't make the big money that they thought they would. If you have other options you should consider them. Thats just my opinion.

 

Please understand that I am not bashing you. I see things in a somewhat different light as I have read and re-read your post and the responses several times.
After giving this more thought I think perhaps that it's not you so much that needs to hear what we have to say. I think it would be prudent and productive for your significant other to ask the questions and get the answers. I say this because by you coming here instead of him, are putting yourself in an awkward position. After all he is the one that is going to be making the change in his lifestyle more so than you are. Yes, it will have a direct effect on you and your situation. However, as you stated you dealt with the separation before during his career in the military. If this is what he chooses to do then you'll either deal with it again or you won't be together. I know this sounds blunt and perhaps even cruel, but it's really not your decision. It's his and his alone. I know that it's better if a couple make these decisions together, I advocate that but sometimes it just doesn’t work that way. This is one of those times. The bottom line is he has to live with the repercussions more so than you do as his actions will be the catalyst for all things that come with changing careers.
Henceforth he needs the answers more than you.
I've read your post several times over and the main thing I see you asking about is the financial aspects of a career as a driver. Those are important, valid concerns, but seriously they are not the most important ones at risk here. I've not once seen you ask about or refer to the emotional or physical challenges that he will be facing.
You stated:
“I was a military wife for years, and did okay. However, now that we are settled and have been building a life, I am concerned that I may not take to it as well in my older years”.
38 is not old. Unless there have been major changes in your health that would prevent you from handling the same things as you’ve handled before, then I see no reason why you cannot adjust again. It’s all a state of mind and really has nothing to do with age.
You stated:
“My fiance' and I have run into hard times the last year. In an effort to find something that will help us reach our goals, he has decided that truck driving may be the answer.” “Let me start by saying this is something that he has always wanted to try. I want to stand behind him and want to see him get to try everything that he has/ever could want to do -- as I have every day since he came into my life. I would, however, be lying if I said I was not seriously concerned about the financial aspects of doing this. There is a bottom line that has to be met in order for us not to lose our home and the other things that we have worked so hard to achieve and the goals that we have already set for ourselves that we have LITERALLY invested thousands of dollars in.”
“To bottom line it, a picture of lots of money to send home to help keep the home fires put out and maintain separately on the road has been painted for us. We have a mortgage that is close to $1000 a month and vehicle payments, etc. Doing this would be an option only if it allowed us to bank money away and still make it month to month. We need to make (send home) at least $1500 a month in order to make this work.”

This tells me that you are against the wall and have a misconceived idea that there is a lot of money to be made as a driver. Trucking will not “fix” this situation. The only thing that will resolve your financial problems is hard work, putting personal wants and needs on the back burner until you are stable.
It’s not possible in most cases with a new driver and some experienced drivers to meet those obligations. You don’t say whether or not you work. Do you? If not, and you are determined to make ‘his dream” come true then get a job and contribute to the income. In my mind that would a way to help carry the load so that he doesn’t have to worry so much about the situation at home. You are not the only one that has been taken in by the promise of big bucks by the advertising executives for these trucking companies and driving schools. I’d say that those are false advertising and should be treated as such.
You stated:
“I know home time is going to suck. I know we will never see him -- and that is handleable as long as it is indeed what we want it to be. We both agree on that. Please, give me some help here.”
“If time is asked off, is there any guarantee that he will get it? For instance, I am getting ready to graduate from college (for the first time ever) and our daughter is getting ready to graduate from high school. Our oldest son is getting ready to go away to college. If he asked off for those times, is he guaranteed the ability to be home for them?”
Those statements are more about you and your needs than his. I know that people in the military do not know when or how long they will be home and that their leave time can be cut short with no warning or consideration to family matters. Trucking is no different, and perhaps in some aspects even more uncaring and unpredictable. Murphy’s Law of what can go wrong will go wrong, applies more in trucking than any other industry I know. The trucking industry as a whole waits for no one and has no feelings or heart. Most companies do not care about you, your family or your needs. It’s all about the financial returns on their investment, being in this case your significant other. Yes to a certain degree they will be tolerant of family emergencies and events. But the bottom line is there are no guarantees in life except dying and paying taxes.
You said:
“NOW -- with that being said, my uncle has been in the trucking industry since I was in diapers (a long time) with a company based out of Vinita, OK. When we asked him about the option, he said that things have changed, and not so much for the good. Our neighbor has been driving for a couple of years as well, and when I talked with he and his wife last night they said that they did not think this would work out for us.”
This tells me that people that are in trucking as well as know you and your significant other have already told you that this is not a suitable plan. To me that should be the final answer for both you and he. Some times people do not want to accept the answer that they get. They will continue to ask the same questions until they get the response that they want. They will re-phrase the same questions over and over re-hashing the responses until they hear what they want.

 

I'm with alligator on this one. I would maybe suggest refinancing your home or remorgage or trade down,get your expenses down,then try driving if you think and know thats what you want. While there are plenty of drivers financed to the hilt that I have personally known,with 1000,a month home paym,and two new vehicles,they work for union companies and are ussually home at night or day and take almost all their pay home due to bringing their own lunchs from home.These are hard jobs to come by until you get experience driving with an excellent safety record. You could go into a rental house,learn to team together,home school your children for 5 years,then you quit and you will have a hose paid off or close to it and cars would be paid for. Teaming you two can make 100,000 to 140,000 a year with a good company. Its a stretch but its been done plenty by couples that get along and work good together. Let us know how you are doing. Think of this also,before he goes and gets set up for a cdl,ask around at your local trucking companies,construction,cement mixers,local freight haulers,all of them where you live.See what they have to offer,if you get a good local job you can do good and make it if you get overtime each week and take a lunch with you.i spend 140 to 200 on the road,if I worked local I would have that much more.just some things to think about. good luck and keep us informed.

 

i hate to say this, but you were "worried" about your home and other things, now you are throwing in a "business" you started some time ago.....?? if you think it will 'thrive", think again. most business's fail in less than a years time. i'm thinking now, you're looking for a way to "bail out" and by him driving, you still "think" that trucking will keep your heads afloat........this just ain't gonna happen........and "frustration" regarding your "business"........hmmmmm......sounds fishy to me now.......

he's simply NOT going to make any substaintial money for quite some time...

right, so where is "YOUR COMMON SENSE" here........??
a "business", a mortgage, kids, bills, etc,etc, and you think that trucking is "YOUR ANSWER"....??

with this, i am "thinking", that you are wearing the pants, and are the one actually looking for a way out of some very serious dept you are in, and you are "forcing" your hubby to do something he will most certainly give up, seeing that he isn't going to be making any surmountable money "real quick"......

a business, home, kids, etc,etc, and you're "ill".....?? how can that "business" survive when you're laying on the floor when you become "physically unstable"......??......look at the parts i highlighted, bold and italiced...?? i "thought so"......its YOU that are DEMANDING he get you 2 out of debt. was the "business" your idea.....?? (i think so, because i'm "seeing" you as money hungry for "get rich quick schemes")

i no longer have the "wrong impression" of YOU now........

 

ok....................

what "time" will YOU dedicate once "hubby" is away from home..........(more on my question furthur down)

hmmm..........in "some instances"

"misfortunes" happen to everyone, nearly everyday, but people don't "ressort" to trucking to bail them out. living on savings and nearly getting by is something (again) we have all done at one time or another

remember the "dedicatd" question i asked jsut above....??
well here we go. NOW, your talking college, which you NEVER mentioned before. kids, college, housekeeping, the "business".............the list with you goes on and on, so WHAT time(s) will you be "dedicating to the business so that it won't fail...??? then the kids, then the college, then YOUR studies (homework), the list with you just keeps growing, like "Jack's Beanstalk"..............

the "jury" is still out on this one, but i still suspect that's its YOU looking for a "bail-out situation", and you think trucking is the way.

well frankly, you're going to get "everything else". you want HONEST opinions for your situation, but seemingly with each posting of yours, you ADD more things. like the business, now college..........

DOH..........do ya think.............????

from i am "seeing" you are destined to fail, and miserably. work ethnics or not, you are already up to your eyeballs in debt, strapped for cash, adding MORE things you want to do (or have), and you EXPECT trucking to be your saving grace...............!!

hmmm.............nope, i'm usually "dead-on" in my suspicions/thoughts/ gut-feelings

that's pretty much what we all do, but we as drivers know darn full well we ain't gonna get rich, or make "fistfulls of money" either....this is your (or his) concept of driving. my god girl, you even said you have relatives/friends that you know/respect, and they TOLD YOU trucking isn't the answer. if you ain't going to listen to people you really "claim" to know, why will you even listen to us here.........?? you really wasted your time here, since "listening" isn't in your vocabulary...........

hmmm....nope, i think he's "whipped" (of sorts)...........

BUT, with your "so-caled" physical conditions you spoke of earlier, some day you may be, requiring more medical attention, maybe even a "home assistance" nurse. i don't think you will be able to afford that, along with the mortgage, college, kids, the business, etc,etc...............

again, you're not "flailing on the floor" YET, but you could be soon enough, who are you kidding.....?? not me.........
and the times are hard now, they ain't going to get any easier with "hubby" away, and all that you got going...........(or want to get going)

then have him seek employment (in his degree'd field) out of town/state. maybe there is a terrific job with his name on it elsewhere's. yes, there you go, "it cost us" ..............your "informed decision" is being based on the ads you/he reads regarding trucking jobs/money or the recruiters you/he spoke to, or the school personel you/he spoke to.........

this is still my "first impression" of you as you continued posting, now of course, you want to go to college on "his dime", that you think is going to come in by the bag fulls as a truck driver..........

i can at least "accept" this statement from you.

the "love & respect" i can accept, the "dreams", i still think are yours not his...........i think he's being bamboozeld into this

nope, my "gut feelings" are still with me on this one..........