What no one is saying

Car,
Good-buddy is a Truckers way of identifying Homosexual men women get another name( I am trying to be nice here) and when a Person puts it out there like I do to a woman who is married to a trucker, giving off advice some truckers would consider me to be a "good-buddy" but the drivers in this thread are looking out for you and your Husband.
Your second part question as to what happens when no one talks, Well it is human nature to do one of 3 things, Either communicate civilly ( which is best) yell about it and be constantly bitter towards the other, ( which is Real Bad) or we say nothing Bottle it up inside then EXPLODE, taking a course of action which we might or might not regret. (this is the worst case scenario and unfortunately the one chosen more often than the previous choices). My suggestion to all Women who are married to a trucker, or any man who is at home and his Wife is trucking( I do not know what to tell that group of people with "Life Partners" other than that just ain't natural) Is that in order to have a Good relationship, you must communicate. I did a thread about Relationships and how to survive for the drivers. I will post the link for you Copy and paste it to word document and give it to your Husband, it might help you both or he might call me and cuss me out but either way it is for you to do with as you please.
http://www.thetruckersreport.com/tr...ice-about-trucking-without-sugar-coating.html

 

Drivers have to make the decision. I got off the road, I'm home when I need to be like just got back from picking my daughter from LAX. I'm off all weekends. I'm home several nights during the week.

Sacrifice, hell no it's not a sacrifice it's a decision on whats important.
Being at performance of my kids ( Band or sports at school) is important, not sitting at a dock 2 states away. It is a decision that everyone has to make as to what is important.

I was raised by a cross country produce owner/operator. I high school I got into a fight with my Dad because I wanted him to be home for Graduation, we were standing on the back porch, he hit me hard enough to knock out 2 teeth and send me flying into the back yard. I decide right there I would never make my kids beg for my attention. Why my mom spent all those years alone, I have no idea. No one should spend there life waiting for someone to come home.

I always put my home, wife and kids first always.... I have parked trucks and flown home to be here on promised days.

He deserves a chance to work it out, but if a man puts his job ahead of his family then it's the man whom has already decided to leave.

Nothing and I mean nothing in this world is more important to me than my family. Would I change professions for them. In a hot minute. But that is just me and my opinions which are not intended to reflect anything but me and my pointed my little way of doing things..

When all is said and done I don't want "never missed a day of work" on my headstone.. Would rather have " Great Husband and Father"...

fffb7@live.com

 

Truck Load

 

PJ that is one of the best posts I have read and you and I had the same dad.I never married because I didn't want to make his biggest mistake.

 

I don't know if this helps or not but I'm pasting a couple of things here that I have had on my web site for a long time. The author is posted but it's not me, just giving credit where its due. I found these on the web a long time ago.
___________________________________________________-

Ten Things every Driver wished....

By Shelly Head

(06/99)

1. Eating out everyday is not as fun as it is on occasion.

2. The sleeper berth in the truck is just as lonely as the bed at home.

3. We like to be spoiled when we're home, so feel free to please.

4. Finding the time and place to call home is harder than it seems.

5. Please don't call dispatch unless it's important. I will call home when I can. Dispatch lets me hear it if you call too often.

6. Don't wait until I get home to discipline the kids. It's hard enough that I can't be home more, but to be the bad guy all the time is too much. When I am home, I will do what I can to discipline them.

7. Don't assume that I am enjoying my time away from you and the kids. At least you have the kids to get you through the lonely times.

8. Life on the road is hard. If I'm not home, I'm working.

9. Don't start nagging the minute you hear my voice. I need to hear good things too. When I hear all the bad things, it makes me not want to call home.

10. Trust me to do my job, to take care of myself, and to do whatever I have to in order to provide for our family.
_____________________________________________

Ten Things every Wife wished...
By Shelly Head

1. Just because it looks easy to keep everything together doesn't mean it is.

2. We don't always know that you miss us. Tell us; we need to hear it.

3. Please be consistent when calling home. It makes us feel connected to you.

4. When we tell you the ugly details of our day, we are not complaining or blaming you, we just need to be heard.

5. A card or note goes a long way to help ease the disappointment of a missed special occasion.

6. We are not your maid, baby sitter, accountant, cook, nurse etc., So don't treat us that way. When you're home pick up after yourself and pitch in with the kids and housework.

7. We love our children, we love you, but sometimes we hate having to do it all and be it all the time. We need time away too.

8. Although you're only home a few days, take time to focus on us without the children. We need to feel desirable. Its hard to feel sexy when the kids are in your lap instead me.

9. Be a father when you're home and when you're away. I can not be both mother and father and do not want to be. Remember what's important to the kids. When you're home attend their activities; praise their achievements; address problems.

10. Don't assume I have all the answers and that I can handle anything. I am not always strong and confident. I need you to make my world safe and secure sometimes.

 

Maybe your husband just needs a new employer, someone who gets him home more often, maybe even daily/nightly. CFI ain't the only place out there.

 

I put my flame retardant on. True completely and by the way I really Loved my Dad and still do even though he's longer with us. But no doubt the road mattered just like herion to a junkie, if you know what I mean..