What's the stupidest thing you've ever had a dispatcher or office rat tell you?

I got directions like that from an older lady at a receiver I was going to in West Virginia one time. She says, "when you come into town turn right at the old wooden sign, then go a little ways down and turn left just past the big oak tree and we'll be 1 mile down the road." After driving through "town" 3 or 4 times I call her back and tell her there ain't no big wooden sign. She tells me yes there is I drive right past it everyday. A guy in the background overheard the conversation and proceeds to tell her that the big wooden sign has been gone for 5 years! Gotta love people that really pay attention.

 

we had a shipper that wanted a load lock on every pick up. problem was the trailer was bolt sealed and then dropped at the receiver with no way of getting your load lock back. once a couple of us "lost" our locks that way, he asked over the qualcom who had one. no one would answer. the next qualcom was instructing us to look for locks at customers and then take them! that really lit up the satellite.

 

I know right, I get these kind of directions all the time. Oh yeah last weeks directions were given as keep driving through town, it was a golfing community so he said you will see Hole 11 set of to the right (like I can see that little flag on the hole, yep) then go one mile farther and there will be a set of tennis courts, turn left there and then make a right on the street that starts with a "W" he didnt know how to pronounce it and go toward the end of the street and find the medium cedar sided house. Hmm... I seem to find them all but it is humorous.

 

I had a dispatcher, new to the company that came from an old out of business outlaw company when he told me I HAD to be somewhere after I told him for the 3rd time I didn't have the hours to do the load, he tells me to tear a few pages out of my log book and get some hours.

He didn't realize the owner of the company was standing behind him. The next voice I hear is the boss and he asks who this is, I tell him and he says go ahead and take your 8 and call when I'm ready and I'll have a new dispatcher and a reschedule when I call in with my hours! I tell him ok and before I could get the phone away from my ear I hear "that's how WE do it here and don't let the door hit you where God split you, you're fired" then click as he hung up the phone!

That had to be a bad day for that guy! But it made mine as I was on the verge of reaching through the phone and choking his ever loving arse to the floor! He was the worst dispatcher I've ever seen in my career! Totally out to lunch!

Now as to directions I love it when I get out into BFE and the directions say turn at the white house! Like barns all houses in BFE are white!

 

Oh one I just drug out of my memory

"Its the place south of seattle with all the shipping cotainers."

He was reffering to Macmillan Piper in Seattle if any of you all know where that is.

 

"You're looking for a picket fence about ten, maybe 15 miles down the road. The turn will be right after it."

Or another favorite when I was delivering in Georga "Look for the old brown and white single wide trailer house, there will be an old chevy pickup sitting in the driveway"

"My response was "great so we have determined that my destination is somwhere south of the mason dixon line and somwhere east of the mississippi, could we be more specific, or possibly could you email me a map? Oh and I will take latitude and longitude if I can get it.

This is why ex military folks rock at giving directions, and the really geeky types that enjoy thier gps, I have found more than one shipper/reciever that way.

I have a Garmin Street Pilot 7200, great GPS.

 

me: i cant hook this trailer my service line is leaking
dispatcher: the red service line or the blue service line?

 

Not knowing the difference is one thing, but like asking is going to make a difference either way is even ..... more stupider.

 

i had my dispatcher after having to bring him out to the truck to show him EXACTLY why the truck was out of service, for a cut rubber air line.......

"can that be patched?" wtf do these people come from, he also asked what happens when an air line blows or comes off when going down the road!!!

 

direct quote from my boss after talking to a customer:

"when you get to the 4-way stop, turn right, then go 2 miles and turn left, take your first left after the wooden bridge, then follow that road 3 miles, it'll turn into dirt but continue another 5 miles then make a hard right and there we are"

Reality-
The right turn at the 4-way stop had low hanging power lines and a No Trucks Over 10ft sign . Seems the customer forgot about that.
Oh and the wooden bridge, think about the Chevy Chase movie "that ain't no bridge, that's a bunch of termites holding hands"