Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Cocaine Package Delivery

Some Meth lol

 

I ran outside of the resturant and stood guard. Luckily everything appeared in order and I didn't spot any S.M.s, (whatever they are). BB came running up with 20 other drivers. He was pushing the buffet table and they were in hot pursuit. After they dished out thier portions and left, BB dug in. So, I warned BB not to leave his post and returned inside the truckstop. I no sooner sat down when the public address system began shouting.

The speaker, " Hee hee hee, haw haw, hee hee ! Paging Barney Goose ! Hee hee, haw haw, hee hee ! "

I goose stepped over, " Barney Goose here. "

The phone, " Are the geese still asleep ? "

I answered, " The geese is asleep ! "

The Agent's voice grew dark over the phone, " It's worse than we expected and I can't reason with the Big Man. Why we do this is beyond me ! Are you prepared ? "

I stood at attention, " Yes sir ! Just give me my marching orders ! "

The Agent's voice cracked, " If we only had a 1,000 more like you ! Okay, your to proceed to checkpoint 3 and wait. I'll meet you there and we'll escort you to our command post. Let's synchronize our watches. At the mark, I have zero, six hundred. Mark ! Meet me at zero, five hundred hours, tomorrow. Good luck Barney ! "

I hung up the phone and looked at my watch. It showed a hair past a freckle. Oppps, I didn't have my wrist watch on. Oh well. So, I went back outside and updated BB. He was passed out on the now empity buffet table. I had BB stay on guard while I went in and took a much needed shower. The water soothed my weary feathers and washed my troubles away. After showering I told BB he could go use the Trucker washbay (shower). BB held fast, claiming that Saturday was still 2 days away. So, I climbed into Maxine's sleeper and got some shut eye.

Early the next morning we fueled and set sail to checkpoint 3. My mouth was dry and my palms sweated. Each mile I knew brought us closer to whatever.

So, hang on Snazzer, your Snazzy1.

 

You olds hands know. Sometimes your just holding the wheel and things just come to you. You know, out the clear blue. That's what happend to me. All of a sudden it was all crystal clear to me. Yep, C.P.D.s must of stood for Cloned People Defenders. How simple ! Yep, I bet S.M.s stood for Sadistic Monsters. Yep, our government must cloned a bunch of defenders to protect the human race. What A deal !
We just entered California and got the green go lights. The Fruit and Nut Policeman raised his hand at the agriculture inspection. He was a real slob chewing a wad of tobbaco and his uniform looked slept in. Now remember, I'd never been stopped before by them. You Know, hauling cars all they did was look and waive me thru. Not this Slob.

The Slob spit, " What you got on ? "

I pinched my tee-shirt, " This old thang ? It's just something I put on. I think it says, ' Live To Ride, Ride to Live ', I got it at a bike shop in Idiot City, back in Texas. If you want one, I can get one for you. "

The Slop pointed, " Pull back there ! I hate comedians ! "

I drove to the rear parkinglot and BB followed. I handed the Slob the locked box ( metal clipboard with thumb latch). The Slob scratched his privates and read over the BOL.

The Slob had to ask, " What's CPDs ? "

I grinned, " Why don't you call that number you fat Slob ! You don't know who your dealing with ! The CIA, FBI, USAF, PTA, BSA, and Roswell N.M. ! So, go ahead and make my day, you sorry excuse of a flat footed pig ! I have a good mind to call the Big Man ! Yep, I'll have you transferred to the North Pole inspecting the butts of sled dogs ! "

The Slob gave me that, ' your crazy look ', " Okay driver, whatever you say, just take her easy. I don't want to upset you. Go on your way. No problem here. Don't forget to take your meds ! Have a nice trip ! "

I yanked the lock boxed from him ( clipboard..., well you know). BB and I set sail for our third checkpoint. It was a pickle park (rest area) not too far away. We made good time and swung in exactly at 5 am. The Secret Agent was waiting for us. He walked over and greeted us.

The Agent never took off his Foster Grants, " Good to see you again ! I flew in and decided to take this detail myself. Follow me over to the command center. We walked 10' feet over to the Agent's unmarked car.

The Agent spread out a map, " This is where ya'll unload. I'm going to be honest about this. The situation is code blue ! Look at this blueprint. Right there is the secure area. The SMs have good intelligence and are expecting a shipment. Can you believe the local paper even advertised that we're coming ? Now this is a newer facility. The last shipment was taken before it even reached here. That's the area where they're suppose to be stored. There are security cameras ontop of those poles, here and here. Barney, you'll lead in and BB will follow. There is a large cement wall that seperates the facility. It'll provide some cover, but once you open those trailer doors. Well, that's it ! If you can't back straight on those dock doors, ya'll will be history ! I'll be inside and will wait for your signal. As soon I hear that ya'll have arrived. I'll verify it with those cameras. I'll hit the electric dock doors and give you no more than 30 seconds. That's the most critical point ! Get backed on and seal that dock with your trailer ! If those SMs can squeeze inside, we're all dead ! I've got a small security force inside with me. The best we can do is keep those SMs from breaking down the inside door. So, let's hope for the best ! I'll expect you at thirten hundred hours. Men, if it goes bad, it's everyman for himself ! "

The Agent saluted me and BB. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. He was asking too much ! What has this world come too ? He wants me to back onto a dock door ? He is nuts. But, hey ! My mind was already working on it. A piece of cake, nothing to worry about. What could possibly go wrong ?

Let's break, but I will finish sometime tonight, your Snazzy1.

 

the......suspense.......is......killling.......me..........

 

Oh my Gawd! It's the mid-80's and ol' Snazzy is hauling a load of Cabbage Patch Dolls! And the mothers are after him!

We need to pray for our Snazzy. This could, indeed, turn very ugly. Very, VERY ugly. Snazzy has got to be one of the bravest of the brave. Trust me on this.

 

Well goooooly there Ducks. I think you may be onto something there.
Those SMs are soccer moms after those CPDs.

 

Those SM's after those CBS's would be more scary than BB coming at you on the buffet.

 

Don't die from the suspense Lennamarie, as Life Goes On.

I placed the lead container (my sealed icechest) in the passengerseat of Macine. I removed my thick rubber gloves ( cloth hand mittens ) and removed my breathing appratus (clothes pin from my nose). I then grabbed my C.B. mike.

I made sure I was on Channel 26, " Hey ! BB you up yet ! It's time to get going ! Wake up ! "

BB was groggy, " What time is it ? I just woke up. Give me a minute I can't find my snickers ! "

I sounded angry, " We ain't got time fot that ! Get it in gear ! We need to head out ! We can't be late, so follow me ! "

I slammed Maxine in gear and we bolted from the pickle park. BB was crying about not having enough sleep. I was concentrating on getting this job over with. We drove straight to the area of the facility and parked a few blocks away. I got back on the C.B.

I sounded demanding, " Okay BB this is it ! D day is here ! We're going to do this my way ! Here's the plan. I'll pull in first and radio our arrival. You get in posistion and on my signal back onto that dock door. Give me time to get those trailer doors open and don't back over me ! I'll hold off the SMs while you jump in Maxine and back her on the other door ! Don't stop for anything and if you have to run over them. DO IT ! "

BB was all ears and agreed. I ran back and unlocked our trailer padlocks, but left the doors fastend. I slowly approached the facility and that Agent had been right. That large cement wall did give us some cover as we headed in. It was a small alley that dead ended. The dock doors were located at the end and just to our right. There was just enough room to make a u-turn and head back out. BB stayed right on my backdoor, as I made the U-turn and stopped.

I grabbed the mike, " Mother Goose has landed! Mother Goose has landed ! Repeat, we're here ! "

The Agents voice shook, " I copy Mother Goose ! All Agents, the Goose is about to lay eggs ! Code Blue ! "

I leaped from Maxine wearing my mittens and clothes pin, my icechest was in my hand. The first dock door began to raise, as I unlatched BB's trailer. The trailer doors swung open as I waived, signaling BB to begin his back. I barely got out of the way as BB bumped the dock and his trailer sealed the fate of mankind. What a deal !

I darted to the back of my trailer as BB ran (waddled) over. His holly socks left moist tracks in the bright cement alleyway. Just as BB got behind Maxine's steering wheel, I pulled open the trailer doors. That''s when the SMs swarmed down the alley. There must of been 300 of them ! I reached into the lead container and threw the first nuclear device. It landed right in front of the charging mob. The green mist rose as a dozen or so fell. The rest stopped in their tracks. I tossed the second device like a hand gernade. It found it's mark right in the center of the Sadistic Monsters. It was the turning point. Yep, a full retreat ! BB backed up and our duty was done. I was weary as removed the clothes pin and took off my mittens. I placed them inside my ice chest and staggered back towards Maxine. Just as BB dismounted, the trailers began to rock. I could hear women screaming and baby voices. The Secret Agent and his men ran outside and joined us. The Agent's suit was ripped and torn, his Foster Grants no longer had lens.

The Agent spoke first, " Those SMs broke down the inside door. They're out of control ! Those poor babies are being ripped apart and those Shopping Moms are going at it hand to hand ! There was nothing we could do. #### Blue Light Specials ! I tried to the tell the Big Man that this was going to happen. Hell no ! Make an Idiot a store manager and he knows best ! "

I had to ask, " So your not CIA and we risked our lives over Cabbage Patch Dolls ? "

The Agent looked shocked, " CIA ? I'm a Pinkerman ! Who told that ? "

My mind voices began laughing and pointing thier fingers at me. I got my BOL signed and BB and I drove away. I made a deal with BB that if he would buy new socks and tennis shoes; I'd let him keep the money I loaned him. What a deal !

Dang Ducks is to good for me, Night, night, Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

'BB'....WHO?

Secret Agents !

Mother Goose !!

Mittens ? Now that's just kinky Snazz! But I like ! !

Daaaaannng I go away for a few days and come back to find things all FUBAR!

What happened to the other guy and Sexy Thang?

Hey Mama Duck......belly up to the bar here with me and we'll throw back a 'Red Wolf's' and you can catch me up.

 

Woohoo -- we got Shandera back! Yep, ol' Snazzy's been busier than a one-armed paperhanger, Shanny... delivering Highly Critical Loads... and now leading the pack. Well, leading BB anyway. Which is a job in itself.

Now Snazz -- I have to ask. Did you get hazardous duty pay for that run... or did they frame up an award for the wall of your berth.... 'cause we both know that ACE spares no expense when taking care of their drivers, right? That IS true, isn't it? Yeah... guess I kinda thought so... <sigh>

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