Strange or bizarre tips for drivers

Because Girls Don't need a "payment Plan" to spport a boy toy no wine and dinne needed.

AND there know by other names: pool boy, graender, ect....

 

Wives are for kids

mistresses are for things you'd never ever ask your wife to do.

 

#1........ what on earth would you not ask your wife to do???

#2........ if you aren't asking her to do "things" .... my guess is she is probably wanting "things" that YOU have never even considered!

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BABYSITTERS are for kids

WIVES/PARTNERS are for things a mistress would never even know to do........ let alone have the time to explore, investigate, practice, modify and perfect .

 

Well.. actually, nothing, really.

#2........ if you aren't asking her to do "things" .... my guess is she is probably wanting "things" that YOU have never even considered!

lol - yeah, but not in this case. We HAVE been known to talk. These days, mostly, she just wants to sleep. Makes sense to me, as much as she's been workin'.

But that was not my own philosophy - it was a bit of doggerel philosophy from the last century.. or the one before, I forget.

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No - that's too expensive. Just nail the little buggers to the floor. Problem solved.

And it's NEVER perfected. Gotta practice a lot!

 

A dog, a porkchop and a piece of string.

Tie the porkchop around the kid's neck with the string and the dog will keep him/her occupied while you and your wife have a nice, quiet evening out.





Or so I've heard.

 

That's what my parents did with and for me --- and the dog,........ well, ....... actually it wasn't a dog,........ all I remember is that whatever it was, --- it came from someplace
downunder, Tazmaniac -- I think it was.

And look how I turned out.

 

I wonder what she might do to me if I gave you some ideas? hehehehe

There's a new country song out..... it's called "I Can Sleep When I'm Dead"........ ya'know there are some things that are just worth losing sleep over!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUDK1hGzYvA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cUFs4DyWrA

Works for me!

Yep...... gotta do it over, and over and over and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over and over and over, and over, and over, and over, and over

 

The most important thing to never do in a truck!

If you ever stop at the little truck stop on 49 in Collins Ms and eat 6 crystal burgers, even if you think you can't, DO NOT leave without making a trip to the bathroom.

The next place you can get a truck into without riskin life or limb is in Florence Ms and it's a LONG way. By the time you get there your arm hair has grown 3 inches from the chill bumps and you have yanked the parking brake and jumped out of the truck running before it's even stopped.



That's my only advice I can give




And Mistresses are for women you don't have to talk to or call the next day, it's easier that way.

 

Sweetie........ lot lizzards are not mistresses.



.... mistresses require maintenance.

 

I wouldn't know about lot lizards, I prefer my women to be clean, have good jobs, and just like a younger guy with no baggage to make them feel young again lol. Lot lizzards normally show signs of meth use and severe self esteem issues lol.



How did we get this far off topic?