I'm baaaaaack!!!!!!!!

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.

Bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke!?"

 

Two guys walk into a bar.

Third guy ducks.

 

Climate control went out last night (no-idle AC). Took scout five minutes for night dispatch to approve a hotel and get me routed to a terminal.

Unfortunately both hotels here were full so stayed in the truck. Wasn't too bad last night but planning carefully for next couple days.

 

In Lafayette LA, have 5 hours to cover the 240 miles to Redwood MS. No interstate but 45mph average so no sweat. Then to Laredo and the terminal by Monday morning.

 

I had that poster of Loni Anderson in the skimpy little bikini. Yowza!

(She was actually quite conservative and later voiced her regret over posing for what she termed a "cheap pinup" and she never did another one--I think)

 

In my day, a "selfie" was what you did when the wife was mad at you.

 

Piece of string walks into a bar. Bartender kicks him out, saying they don't serve string there.

String ducks into the alley, ties a knot into his middle, and unravels his ends so they're frayed out really well.

He saunters back into the bar. Bartender says, "Don't I know you? Aren't you that piece of string?"

String says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

 

Everyone knows Ghandi usually didn't wear shoes. He developed strong calluses on his feet as a result. Also, he didn't eat much, so his health was usually poor due to lack of proper nutrition. This also resulted in a buildup of acidity in his mouth, making his breath smell rather foul.

This made him a (oh, good LORD...)

Super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

(Runs from room before wrenches start flying)