Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

OhhhhhhhhOK Let's see if we can keep this all straight... Jail time for Barney or the armIdillo... Bad cop need to go on it was just getting goooood. 8X10's B&W, or Color? Was there writing on the back? Markings on the front? Was Barney in them... Ohhh NO look out Goose 'cuz you are about to be cooked, slowly over an open pit on a spit... sauce anyone? Hey out Hero can not be done yet ...He's way to tough and not enuff fire to toast those old bones of his... but alass onword story tell of great...

 

Yep Knife and Dev50, crumb pets and roasted Goose. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

A couple of hours passed, with me left waiting. You know, back in that small interview room. Finally Good Cop returned and made the introductions. Yep, a tall, lanky, middle aged, no nonsense, tough talking, all business, take no prisoners, suite wearing, Federal Marshall. Yep, I was impressed.

Good Cop poured the coffee, " Barney, this is Agent Marshall. He's head of the Task Force and would like to speak with you. "

I shook his paw, " How are you doing ? I'm Barney Goose and glad to meet you. You should try one of these crumb pets. Their pretty good ! "

Agent Marshall got straight to business, " Mr Goose, I understand that you've waived your rights. Now, I only have a few questions. Did you recognize anyone in those photos ? "

I spoke with my mouth full, " No, can't say that I did ! You see, how this all started was... "

Marshall cut me short, " Look, I'm pressed for time ! Let me, just lay it out for you. Tell me something ! Why would someone report that your the one responsible for these disappearances ? "

I spit out crumbs, " What disappearances ? "

Marshall gave me the LOOK, " The Truckstop Murders ! Don't you read the paper and keep up with things ? "

I lit up, " No, not really ! The news depresses me. You know, it's not like it use to be. Nope, it's all bad news now a days. Economy is in the crapper, Politicians lying, the world is in a mess, Cowboys can't win, ... "

Marshall rolled his eyes, " Well, alright ! Maybe you don't know ! We've got a serial killer on our hands. He targets mostly prostitutes and has left a trail of bodies, from here to Tim-Buck-Two. Now someone, called in and said, that your involved. "

I did the owl, " Who ? I mean, you don't think, that I ... "

Marshall raised his brows, " Well ! They say, that you were the last one seen, with our latest victim ! "

My heart stopped, " Hot Legs ? She's ... No ! She can't be ! There has to be a mistake ! Besides that, I haven't seen her in .... "

Marshall looked confused, " Who the hell is Hot Legs ? I'm talking, about Cotton Candy ! That prostitute you were seen with last night ! "

I had to ask, " Dead ? You mean, Carmel Candy ? She's not dead ! Well, as far as I know, she's not. The last time I saw her.... "

Marshall dropped his bomb, " We have a witness and he said, she was last seen getting into your truck ! That was last night and her body was discovered, not more than 100 feet, from where you were parked. "

I defended myself, " She was in my truck alright, but when I got up this morning, she was gone ! I swear, she was in fine shape, the last time.."

Marshall wasn't sold, " You have to admit, that sounds awful fishy ! It's just a coincidence, she's last seen with you, ends up dead and you don't know, a thing about it ! Well, answer me this ? What were you doing, with her in the first place ? "

I was honest, " I was trying to find Hot Legs ! You see, she drives for me and disappeared a few days back. Anyway, Carmel Candy said, that she saw Hot Legs. You with me ? So, I was pumping her.. Cotton Candy, I mean, Carmel Candy for information, about Hot legs. Now, ... "

Marshall knew better, " According to our crime seen unit, you pumped her alright. Your sleeper mattress, shows signs of vaginal fluids that match her and several others. They came from a giraffe, armadillo, space alien and some, they couldn't even identify ! "

I blushed, " What happens in Ol' Blue, stays in Ol' Blue ! "

Anyway, after all was said and done. I managed to con-fence him that there was reasonable doubt. You know, it was all circumstantial and really nothing more than that. I mean, if I was a serial killer, would I had killed that poor girl and left her there ? You know, 100 feet, from where I parked and then stopped to make a delivery. Then, how about this ? Would I'd of called the cops and reported someone missing ? Yeah sure, that'd made alot of sense. Anyway, I was upset about Cotton Candy... I mean, Carmel Candy. Yep, she sure didn't deserve to ... Well you know, what I mean. Yep, but what really bothered me was. Yep, you guessed it ! Where the hell is Hot Legs, as Life Goes On ?

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Uh Oh... Is Hot Legs knocking off the competition?

 

Yep-maybe Hot Legs has hot temper as well. Barney needs to invent games to play while waiting to be interrogated by police. Might make more than being a trucker. Like that board game where all spaces say go directly to jail-except the jail spot.

 

Hummmm... Hot Legs, bad temper... Offing the other Lizzards, guess she could best to check out her route... Looks as if Barney might get out of this... But what about 'Ole Blue???

 

Man, i cant be gone longer than a few days without Barney gitten
his butt in another sling !!!! Why cant u jist stay out of that da*#
fryin pan ???????????

 

Oh my ..... Guess it was a case of wrong place at the wrong time....... hum Poor ol Barney and where is HOT LEGS now....

 

Let's see, Kenmar came up with a good one. Yep, maybe Hot Legs is the killer and ... Wait a minute ! Who's telling these lies, err... true-fiction tales ? But hey, he might be onto something. No, he's way off and that's not how I recall it. Well, don't just sit here ! The Snazzers are all waiting and you didn't post last night. Screw em and let them eat crumb-pets. You know, I do have a life and sometimes. Oh, shut up and apologize ! Alright, alright, I'm sorry, but it's been a tough few days and.. Well you know, what I mean. Let's see, pjw044 is here and counted four. Bug Duker suggest, a bored game and Rikdev50's is worried, about Ol'e Blue. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Agent Marshall drove me back to Ol' Blue and released me. Yep, they didn't have anything to charge me with and I promised to keep my eyes peeled. You know, if I spotted anything or located Hot Legs. Yep, I did report her missing and kept Agent Marshall's business card. My mind voices had learned alot and were anxious to help out. Yep, if there was serial killer out here, I'd be the one to bring him down, or my name isn't ... Crap ! Look at that ! Those dang Crime Seen fellas, sure did leave a mess. Fingerprint powder smeared all over the place. My bottom mattress gone and used latex gloves left all over. Gees, what a bunch of pigs ! Anyway, I pulled off the dock, sealed the back doors, did a quick pre-trip and headed out. Let's see, press loaded, in route, that's the trip number, watch that fourwheeler, missed him, here we go, there's the freeway, hang a right and pedal to the metal. What a deal ! Anyway, the open road helped me to organize my thoughts. You know, how that is and you'll agree. Yep, a driver can't think, unless their holding a wheel, looking through glass and bouncing on an air-seat. Yep, Life Was Good !

Anyway, I hadn't gotten far, when the Quail beeped. Yep, the ol' call Ed message was lit upon the screen. So, I swung into a pickle park and picked a pack, of pickled peppers, that Peter Piper picked.

I dialed his number, " This is Ed ! "

I knew that, " Hey Ed, it's Barney and you won't believe, what happened to me today ! "

Ed knew, " Yeah, I know all about it ! That Agent Marshall called out here and filled me in. Are you able to deliver that load and ... "

I lit up, " I sent a Quail and I'm under it now ! It shows to deliver .. "

Ed, was Ed, " Now, don't screw around and if you can't... "

I swore, " It'll be there ! Oh, do me favor ! Can you send a Quail and advise all the drivers, to keep their eye out, for Hot Legs. You might, also want to mention, something about those missing... "

Ed, was Ed, " Barney ! I'll send something out, but we can't be wasting too much time on this ! That's what the police get paid to do ! "

So that, was that ! Yep, when it came to hauling freight, Ol' Ed was all business. Oh, he'd always been that way and .... Who is that ? Who ? That lady over there ! I don't know ! Well, she sure is acting strange. No, she's headed over there and getting in that rig. Hell, she might be a driver, or maybe that's a husband and wife team. Well, are you ready to get going, or what ? Hey, let's shut down here and let that traffic thin out. Yeah, that's a good idea ! I can pull that top mattress down and sleep on it. Yep, we can catch forty winks and ... I sure miss Hot Legs and wish that she was here. Would you stop that ! I've cried all that I can, and we've done, all that we can do ! She'll show up, sooner or later. Now, let's get some sleep and quit worrying so much. Did you lock the doors ? Why, are you afraid that the Pills Berry Doughboy is... Would ya'll shut up and give it a rest ? I'm trying to zzz,zzzz,zzz.... What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Knife Edge feels sorry for Barney and wonders where Hot Legs is. What a Deal, as Life Goes On.

After a few hours rest I pulled myself together and headed out. Ole Blue was earning her keep and running strong. Now, this load delivered down there in South, Texas. Yep, right on the border, down Mexico Way. Of course, I only took it, as far as a drop yard and unhooked. A warm breeze kicked up dust from the dirt lot, as brown skinned folks dashed to and fro. Yep, it was like being in a third World country. You know, no speaky the English. Anyway, the empty trailer I was to hook onto. Well, it wasn't there and I didn't have a clue. Yep, the ol' hide and seek game. Well, you know what I mean. Yep, after a dozen Quail messages and searching everywhere, with no luck. I made the dreaded call to you know who.

Ed was, Ed, " This is Ed ! "

I knew that, " Hey Ed, it's me Barney ! I'm down here in Low-Raid-Oh and I've got a problem. I dropped that ... "

Ed knew, " Yeah, just grab your empty and dispatch... "

I lit a 100, " That's the problem ! There aren't any empty trailers and ... "

Ed paused, " Let me check ! Oh, I see ! Your right and there won't be one there, until .. Hold on ! Click,, Have you ever thought, about becoming a professional truck driver ? Getting paid, while you travel America and see it's wonderful beauty. Well ! What are you waiting for ? Let TLX put you in the driver's seat. Our trained instructors can have you ready in, as little as one week. That's right ! In as little as one week, you can make your dream come true. Here at TLX, you become part of the family. We pride ourselves in being an industry leader. You can earn, as much as $ 75,000, your first year. We offer full medical coverage for you and your family. Can't afford to pay for schooling ? We offer full training, at no cost to you. Ask about our lease purchase program ! That's right ! You can become your own boss and operate your own business. Just think, make your own hours, take your spouse along, invite a friend and Fido too. That's right ! Here as TLX we support our four legged friends. Call BR-549, our friendly staff is waiting to answer your questions. Credit a problem ? Not with TLX ! We can get you financed, no matter what your credit history. That right's ! Our team of financial wizards will fleece, eer.. lease you a late model, state of the art, low mileage, one owner, fully equipped and road ready tractor. Are you there Barney ? Hello ? Barney ? "

I woke up, " Yeah, Ed ! I'm here ! "

Ed dropped his bomb, " There's some sort of holiday, or festival going on and that trailer won't be there, until sometime tomorrow. Unless, you want to drive over there and get it. "

I knew better, " No ! I'm not driving over there ! I've heard it takes half a day to get through customs and... "

Ed agreed, " Well, you might as well cool your heels. Either that, or check on getting something else. We might have load... "

I reminded him, " Ed, I don't have a trailer ! I can't .. "

So that, was that ! Yep, stuck in a drop yard, with no place to go. Oh, I really couldn't complain. TLX did keep me rolling and this was a fluke. Yep, it didn't happen very often and most of the time I ... Well, you know what I mean. Yep, I hated waiting, but sometimes there's no choice. Man ! I'm a little hungry and I bet, there's nothing around here. Maybe those dock hands know something close by. Let's sashay over there and find out. So, I sashayed across the yard and hopped upon the dock. Yep, one of the friendly fellas spoke enough broken English to point me the right way. Yep, through the gate, sashay left, hang a right and there it was. Yep, a taco stand, with true Mexican food. Well, it was street vendor riding a three wheeled bike. He didn't speak any English, so I used my hands and facial expressions. You know, fingers to my lips and made smacking noises. He wrapped up my order and handed me my change. I sashayed back and sat on the bottom bunk. Yep, some food to eat, music to play and life was good. What a deal, as life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Why do I see International incident, State Dept, Mexican Prison and other awful things in Senor Goose's future.