Two accidents in two months.. what now?

Hello truckers. I appreciate you taking the time to review my post and I thank you in advance for any suggestions you may have.

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Too long, or don't want to read a book?
Summary:
Two trucks, two months, two tows. Both lease-purchased vehicles paid off by insurance. No injuries or other parties involved. Now jobless. Total 16 months experience OTR dry van, been to all lower 48 states. Clean MVR until May and July 10th.
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I drove for a national company from March through November of 2020. With 8 months experience a close friend asked me to start a trucking company with him. We began a lease purchase together that month, and we're quickly successful, maxing out both clocks each week. Growing our business, we added a second truck and two drivers March 1st. Both were gone within a few weeks, meaning the two of us had to split up.

It went well for a while until I wrecked our newest truck in New Jersey. Nobody else was involved nor was there any injuries, but the truck and trailer were totaled when I fell asleep and went off the road. I had been on the phone (headset) and the monotone of the caller combined with my exhaustion just put me out for a second, and I woke when the tires left the highway.
I was convicted only with careless driving. I paid a fine, and a $10,000 deductible on the truck, trailer, cargo, and property insurances. I completed drug & alcohol testing and returned to work before the weekend in the other truck.

Literally two months later my life has changed. My daughter has been diagnosed with Sarcoma (cancer) (she's doing very well, says she is 'gonna kick it's ###,' and is in her 3rd round of chemo. Prayers are highly appreciated). My fiancee has been released from incarceration and is in the process of returning to normal and starting a new life. My other business partner left the company, finding priority elsewhere and leaving me to make payments, payroll, and handle all business related matters for weeks before finally departing.

Similar event two months later. West Virginia Turnpike, just after sunrise, I clip a jersey barrier on my passenger side and bounce off it. Hauling bottled water, the skidmarks show me making a B-Line over in to the median. I didn't fall asleep, and some suspension issue may have come in to play here as I had a leak in my secondary and ongoing issues with my self leveling system, but nevertheless none of this excuses the accident. I shouldn't have ran with the faulty equipment, and that's a very easy thing to say when bills aren't due and people aren't counting on you. Regardless....
I kept it in the median, more luck than skill involved here. Charged with Failure to Maintain Control of a motor vehicle.
Completed Drug and Alcohol testing within time limits.
There were no other involved parties nor injuries.

The truck likely wasn't totaled, but the damage was extensive as there was a guard rail running up both sides. Either way, I don't have the ability to continue with this leasing company. Funds don't allow me to get another if I wanted to.

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Two trucks, two months, two tows. Both lease-purchased vehicles paid off by insurance. No injuries or other parties involved. Now jobless. Total 16 months experience OTR dry van, been to all lower 48 states. Clean MVR until May and July 10th.

I was thinking I'll never get to drive a truck again. Now it's dawning that maybe I will be given a chance. Would appreciate anyone's personal experience or knowledge of such a situation. I know wrecks occur, but this much damage that was preventable, what would anyone recommend? I'm open to about whatever, have no problem working hard for pay that is deserved, even factoring in what it would cost to insure me at this point. Would like to be home for a 34 on weekends, as often as possible, but if it means the difference between a job or not then I can go bi-weekly (family needs extend beyond monetary I'm learning).

Again, thanks everyone for your time and posts. Stay safe out there and God Bless.

 

Obviously I made at least two bad decisions, and I agree completely that I am beyond blessed that nobody else was involved. Thanks for your advice.

 

You'll have to pardon my not being active on the forum and unfamiliar with you by name, however I am around enough to see you're active here. Are you active in the industry as well? If so, how long did it take to come back?
As hard as it is to say, I have mostly come to the realization that my initial thoughts were accurate. If I do drive again, it will probably be quite a while before given a chance.

Those who know me know I'm a hell of a driver, I am not some fool put here holding a steering wheel and hoping for the best. Things happen, and for me things just happened to happen really bad, really close together. At my fault of course, I don't deny my own role in this. But I didn't go home for a year, on the road for full clocks every hour of service I had available pretty much got driven. Chicago, Philly, mountains and ice out West, hurricanes and the winds in Wyoming. I'm a driver at heart, I love this job more than anything in the world aside from my family, and the opportunity to be an owner was only the next logical step. I knew the process somewhat, and I managed our filings, accounting, and relationships.
It was indeed a horrible idea to go into business with him. A lesson I'll regret continually, but it is behind me now and I am looking forward.

I'm waiting to hear from Western Express. They treated me well enough in the beginning of my career. I wouldn't bat an eye at needing to go out with a trainer.
The load times were more realistic where I was, there was time for a full break and I could sleep a full sleep. No worries about filings, quickbooks, or talking to my family enough in case I don't get to anymore.

 

Columbus, Ohio. Thanks for your assistance.