Truckers with young children, how hard is it?

OTR seems better and better the less you do it, or the longer it has been since you did it. Doing OTR with a wife and small child at home is putting too much on those at home. IMO, you are training them to get along without you. Your wife is only about once bitter recently divorced girlfriend away from starting to consider it. OTR, you give her time to think about it a lot. It's a lot cheaper to get a different job than get a different family. Nothing sets up a kid for a poor future like no dad in the house. In case you haven't noticed boys are not growing up with excess testosterone and many male role-models around.

 

You know not what you speak of.... If the parents can't get along then they should separate, but both parents need to stay in their child's life.... Early foundation leads to a sound future...

 

Depending on the reason she asked for the divorce, ie; fighting about money etc, would be what you should think about... If she's gonna then turn and stand by you because you're going otr to make more money, then fine, otherwise, no way in H@!&l... Your child is gonna need you to be home... Find the best local job you can and Do Not Miss Out on this time in his young life... Even if you two divorce, stay where you can have shared custody, so he still gets both of you... You will never get the time you miss back...

 

Being home every night makes her angry?


I would first suggest finding out what the root cause of the anger is. Being home with your family every night shouldn’t be it.

then work on fixing the cause.

Because going OTR you two will grow apart and if there isn’t a connection a divorce will happen even when going OTR.


I personally call and talk to my kids every day. When my wife picks them up from school and most times at nights when I call them to say good night. Spend about 30 mins on the phone or FaceTime when I’m on my thirty to converse with them.

Also.

you got to do what you need to do to provide for your family, and money isn’t the only thing either.

hope this helps.

 

Truer words were never spoken or typed.

 

What does OTR mean to you? Gone all week and home for the weekend? Or gone for a month and home for a week?
I'll give you this from the kids point of view. My dad was gone all week and home weekends for most of my life including to this day. I wouldn't change it, as a kid I lived to go with him. I also attribute my poor school performance partially to that, went with him all the time until suddenly one day they decided I should go to school instead of spend all day with dad, to my simple child mind that was an egregious offense and it was the schools fault.
He did a local job with R&L for a few years, I didn't really see him all that much more, he was gone at 730am and didn't get home till 730 or 8 at night most nights, supper and a half hour after then it was off to bed during the school year.

 

Don’t do long haul if you have children,,they’ll suffer and your bride may well despise you for leaving her with all the work. Get local work and be a father until the kids are 16….
Or,,you’ll be gone 3 months and be coming home to a bride who’s 2 months up the stump

 

There was a guy on here posted a story about this subject a few years ago. I don't remember the whole story, and I apologize to the author if I misremembered anything. I only remember the part that affected me the most. He was over the road while his kids were growing up. One weekend a lingering problem his teenage daughter was having came to the surface. He asked his daughter why she had not told him before now. "Because you were never here" she said.
That being said each situation is different. You have to decide for yourself. I just knew I never wanted to hear those words.

 

I have a lot of respect for folks who sacrifice for their family while trying to weigh the greater good of supporting a better life for the family and being home enough as well.

If I had to be gone to make a life I would, but for me personally I miss my son while he’s just away at school for the day! Then, helping my wife care for our baby is something that is very helpful to her and helps me to appreciate how difficult being a Mom or stay at home Dad is.

So, do what you gotta do, but if you have the option to stay home, always put your family first. These kids need us.