What's the stupidest thing you've ever had a dispatcher or office rat tell you?

It is not snowing here, so what is the problem there?

The mountains are no problem. You can go up them at 75 and come down the same speed.

The shortest route is through Chicago on 94. It is only 4:45, you can make it before rush hour.

 

Going across U.S.20 in Ohio one winter, my phone went off. It was one of the dispatchers at the red automatic truck company. Yeah, it was windy, snow blowing, just had to slow down a bit. First thing she says, "Are you driving?". I answered yes. Then she says in a shocked tone, "Are you aware of the weather conditions where you are?". What could I say?

 

I never worked for that "Red" company but I think we had the same dispatcher!

 

Not a dispatcher, but had a broker tell me one time, "You can legally do Chicago to Laurel, MD by 8AM."

This was at 4PM. And I had 3 or so hours left on my 14 which I had let him know when he told me the delivery time on the load which he refused to tell me until after I was loaded.

Oh ya, the load was 46k too. And the truck was governed at 72.

 

Well I run local for a construction company so it wasnt a dispatcher it was my supervisor but I have a few good ones...
One was that I had to take a truck down to a guy somewhere in the backwoods of Marysville, CA. My supervisor said take this road, which I knew from memory so no problem, its about 30 miles long total. He said go past the aggregate pit and somewhere past that and you will see a driveway with a really tall flag pole and american flag on it... Brilliant, there is ten million driveways with flag poles and flags on them its freakin the day after Memorial Day !

Another one... It was a job in town and a busy job that had just started so people, equipment, vehicles, trucks ect everywhere and disorganized and my supervisor says go into the job site and find the "confusion" then you will see a small rock pile, dump there. Alright.

 

Thats like saying look for the big red barn on the country road.

Or "Its right next to a billboard in reno."

 

Mr Jingles is looking for you Mr Beast

 

The one that comes to mind for me wasn't really a dispatcher but I think it kinda fits the thread. I was in North Carolina looking for a shipper that was located way off the beaten path and stopped at a Mom and Pop Gro store and asked an old man sitting out front in a pair of bib overalls and big plug of chewing tobacco if he knew where this place was and he took a big spit and replied "Yeah I know where it is you go down here make a right where the old movie theater used to be that burnt down in 1952 make a right go down to Joe Smith's house make a left and you can't miss it" Did I mention I had never been in the area before in my life?

 

"You're making a big mistake."

When I left J.B. Hunt.

 

Did those directions also happen to include any trees or rocks, such as take a left after the big rock on the right side . . . ?