Put a Face with a Name - User Photos

My wife and I have been looking into adoption. Since I cant do the natural conception we are going this route. There are plenty of kids that need a real family, and boy howdy with my family they will have a Family.

 

There are definitely lots of kids that need a real family! That may be the way I get grandkids from my oldest and his new wife. She has some health issues. He said something about that to me before they got married, and I told him I didn't care! Don't matter to me one way or the other!

 

I have a friend who vactioned with me to texas a couple of times and we stayed with family (when family visits family there is no such things as staying at hotels theres always a corner the relatives can stay) anyways the couple of time he was accepted as family and some of my relatives flew to MN from Tx for his wedding. So yes I agree with lilbit once in the family they are LOVED as family. I gave up driving so I can move back home just a couple of weeks ago. Now I'm on the other side of the dock loading refer trucks. Family is my number 1 priority.

 

Shriner! I have four kids and only gave birth to one of them. Our son is the only one I gave birth to and my husband adopted him. Let me tell you that there is no difference between a child you share blood with and one you don't. I wish you and your wife tremendous joy as you do this.

 

I need to ask this now. What is the best advice you can give for couples who are going in this route. We've done our homework but actual expierience is far more valuble than whats on paper.

 

Two of my dearest friends, a married couple, adopted from China nearly 15 years ago. Jacey, their daughter, has brought joy to the lives of more people than just her parents. They sent me a recent pic of her a couple of weeks ago. She is a beautiful young lady but the pic that I have of her when she was about a year old is the one I see every time I open my wallet.

 

Well, I'm not the best person to ask. We didn't go through adoption agencies. Two of my daughters were my husband's from his first marriage. His ex wife hid them and he didn't see them for almost ten years. We "kidnapped" the youngest one from the state of MA and got custody of her in Texas due to her mother's abuse and neglect. The older daughter I've only gotten to "mother" from a distance as she was allowed by her mother to marry at age 14. *grinds my teeth and beats my head on the wall*

Our third daughter was one of my "street" kids in a church ministry. We kept taking her into our home due to her mother's abandonment and abuse plus her father's being jailed repeatedly for drugs. Eventually we went to court and got custody at her request so she'd feel secure and safe.

But I know a great many people who have adopted babies and very young children through agencies. Frankly I always recommend beginning with your church denomination. It's a good cross between private and non private adoptions and don't cost the fortune that private adoptions do.

However, I also always say: Look into your heart and ask yourself why you want to adopt. Is it to have a baby or to give a child a home? It's wonderful to want to have a baby and if that's what y'all want....pursue that. But if the two of you want a family and don't care what age, what color the child is then go for it. There are so many children that others will not adopt because of race, learning disabilities, age and various things. I loved having my baby but I also loved getting daughters that could talk, walk, tie their shoes and frankly didn't poop their pants. And every drop of love I've given my girls they have returned in a tidal wave. Older kids aren't for everyone, they come with problems, hurts, scars, resentments but they also need you more I think.

I only know this: love knows no DNA, no race, no boundaries and no limits.

Yuck. I'm rambling.

Okay, here's what I use to tell couples who came to me for pastoral counseling: 1) Begin with prayer 2) Discuss together what your expectations are for each other as a parent, yourself as a parent, your future family, child care if both parents plan to continue working, housing, and as cold as some may think it sounds what child you desire. 3) Discuss your finances [parents should be able to "afford" their children in several ways: financially, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.] 4) Discuss the possibility of never having children. Make sure your marriage, your love and your devotion to each other is not dependent upon a child.


With all of that said (and I know it was way to much) the most important thing I learned was when I was in absolute terror at getting custody of our daughter. I'd never even seen her and after years of trying and fighting the state of MA suddenly she was coming. Everyone was telling me how it wouldn't work; it would destroy my marriage, harm my son and all but make me bald. Suddenly in the middle of prayer I heard God say: "think how scared she must be". From that moment on what I prayed for was that God would place in my heart love for her and that she would know she was loved. The rest didn't matter, it just didn't matter if she liked me, dyed her hair blue, dressed like Madonna and cussed like a sailor. The moment I saw her step off the plane, I was hit with a wave of love that felt exactly like the first moment I saw my son after giving birth. I loved her. That's my best advice. Pray that God places in your heart a consuming love for your child. The rest simply won't matter.


P.S. She never dyed her hair blue, dressed like Madonna or cussed like a sailor. She's the loveliest person I've ever known.

 

I'm with lilbit on this one. I'm not a photogenic type person.

I'll do it to make the wife and my mom happy but thats it.

So if she blackens your eyes one day from this, I'll be her witness that you fell...

Hence why no pics of me...

 

Thanks for the backup Les!

 

Drum roll please..............














I'm the one with the Peirced ear and that's Driving.....My First Ride!
Taken July 1996




Me in 3rd Grade:





Me September 2010:













American Trucker