Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

I'm still here and waiting for the next chapter there Snaz.
I do agree with AfterShock that

Would have posted sooner but have been busy so far this week.
Mon put in 14 hours getting a load of oil out of Vanc. BC and unloading it at our plant.
Tue put in 12.5 hours defueling a submarine.

Joel

 

Well gang first a big Snazzy welcome to JMS, a true Snazer ! Yep JMS read every word posted. Snazzy points will be good for eyeglasses, Peptoebismo, and other things. Fastfred added a smiley face throwing a net over a chicken or an Ostrich. Joellyroll has been siphoning fuel from our nuclear subs. Geez, I guess that's one way beat them high pump prices. AfterShock, I'll need to get with Scarecrow about the movie. I'd like to see Billy Bob Thorton, playing the part of Barney, in his Sling Blade character. So, Snazzy points to all. Let me reload and come back. The Snazzy1. P.S. Thanks for staying tuned.

 

I wiped off the chicken grease by rubbing my hands across my blue jeans. Maxine roared to life and I steered her straight to Blackie's bar. I parked around back in the gravel and pulled her knob. Phsssst ! Love that sound.
It was weekday night and the regular bar flies, misfits, and drunks all were there. Cow Girl had my long neck popped and waiting. It went down in three large gulps. She popped another top and it was downed in record time. So, Cow Girl slid a picture of my favorite brew in front of me. Half of the bar sat and stared in awe, as I chugged away. I cut loose with a loud BUURRRP ! I guess that was the signal for the jukebox to sing to life. ' He stopped loving her today, see that chicken on her face, he never thought that he could, but he did it and that's for sure, some will say that he went mad, but he knows that's she should be glad, we could of had the boned ham.<') Do, da, do, da, do, da, do. '

Cow Girl spoke first, " What's up barney ? Where's old man Blackie at ? "

I set the picture down, " I guess he's back in Shaky Town and get'en down. Man, sometimes he worries me ! Have you met his ? Never mind ! "

Cow Girl laughed, " Everyone knows about her, he use to sit here brag about his second wife. Heck, he acts like someones been snitching on him. That old buzard is own worse enemy ! I heard that #1 is going to take him to the cleaners. You know I lease this bar from him, but he acts like he owns it."

I grabbed a fist full of beernuts, " Well, I hate seeing them break up. They've both been good to me. I guess it'll work out, one way or the other. "

Cow Girl rushed over to pump more suds, for the other stool warmers. I went to the little boy's room and did my horse on a flat rock imitation. As I headed back towards my stool, I opened the back door to check. Yep, all those fancy muscle cars were still decorating the trailer. That's when I heard all the commotion.

Cow Girl was standing firm, " I told you last time ! Your barred ! Just get out and keep going ! I'm not going to serve you ! "

The Drunk Elephant had a trunk full, " Missy you can't bar me ! I've been drinking here in this bar since it opened ! Now, either serve me or I'll get it myself ! "

Cow Girl tossed the Elephant's money back in his face, " If you don't leave I'll call the cops ! "

The Elephant charged behind the bar, " Well ! Go ahead and call ! "

The Drunken Elephant lifted Cow Girl by her waist and flung her over the bar. She landed hard and grasped her left elbow with right hand. All the bar flies buzzed around like chickens with their heads cut off. I exited the door and opened my side box. I came back in as the Elephant stood challenging the entire bar.

Elephant dared me, " You best back off ! I'll stuff that down your throat and pull it out the other end ! "

I raised the 5' foot cheater pipe, " Come and get it fatso ! "

The Elephant charged straight at me, so I did a side step and swung. Geez ! The ole Elephant wasn't phased as he made a hard left turn. ( Thier not suppose to make hard right turns, I read that in National Enquirer or was it the National Geographic ? ) Anyway, it was like a bullfight. He'd charge and I'd smack him. He'd kick over tables and cuss, before coming after me again. I'd hit him and he just kept coming. Finally the law arrived. Well, a couple of newbee Idiot's still wet behind thier ears. They decided to put thier night stick training to use. So, the Elephant ended up with one night stick and the other Idiot was sword fighting him. Hmm, both sticks clatterd away as I checked on Cow Girl. She was just fine and claimed it was just her funny bone. So, I rejoined the battle. This time I managed to smack the Elephant behind his knee. He slowly went down as the Idiot Officer swung away at his noggin. What a deal ! Anyway, more troops arrived and a half dozen Idiot Officers took turns wacking away. I sat and sipped as they drug the Elephant out. Cow Girl fed me free beer the rest of the night. I ended up closing the bar down and sleeping in Maxine. It was a night to remember.

Good Night Snazzes, Your Snazzy1.

 

Kewl.....More Snazzy points.

I think I have 4 now.

Heck no I'm not tradin 'em in anytime soon.

Ya like them pics eh Snazz?

I'm gonna upload more in a jiffy......stay tuned!!!!

 

I was awoken with quite a surprise. Yep, Wifey and my oldest daughter were banging on Maxine's sleeper. What a deal ! So, I climbed down and greeted them. Wifey had on some dark sunglasses and a scarf around her neck. She stood with her arms folded and kept glancing around the parkinglot.

My Oldest spoke, " Mom wants to know if she can have her keys ! "

I stood there with my mouth open, " O ".

Then Wifey spoke, " I had to call in sick ! Look at what you did ! "

Wifey removed her glasses and scarf. I looked over my handy work. Man, that was some shinner and those purple fingerprints around her neck were sure mine alright. Geez !

I tried to act civil, " Tell your mother that ya'll can use your V.W. ! Tell her if that doesn't work for her, she can call Ostrich Taxi and Stud service ! Tell her that ...."

Wifey piped in, " Don't you care that your girls have a chance for the State Title ! They've killed themselves for this ! That V.W. can't make it to Austin and back. I need my car ! So, give me the keys and just leave ! "

I dug in, " Tell your mother she can call Ostrich Limo and Love Making for a ride on his bone to hell ! Tell her...."

Wifey spat, " I knew this was a waste of time ! I'll just call Chief E.T. and file charges for assault ! Is that what you want ! "

I lost it, " Go ahead and call ! I'll make bail before the ink dries ! Then I'll take you out for a real CHICKEN DINNER ! No ! How about OSTRICH FRIES ! Is that what you want ! "

My Oldest walked away, " Your sick Daddy ! "

Wifey wasn't finished, " See what you did ! She hates you ! Your girls are afraid of you ! They all think that your nuts ! Can't you just let them have this, for them ! It's what they want ! "

I threw the keys down, one at a time, " Here, that's your stinking LTD ! Here, that's to my King Cab ! That's the house keys ! Here, take the rest of the crap ! "

Wifey stood silent, as I climbed back into Maxine. The checkbook and bills flew out the window.

I was slobbering like a mad dog, " Take it ! I'm through with it ! All I want is to be left alone ! Don't try calling me or Blaickie's ! I hope you and Ostrich are happy ! Have him pay your bills ! Just one thang ! He better watch his back ! I'll kill that SOB ! I don't want him in my house and he better not be within a thousand feet of my girls ! If he does ! He's dead ! Let him know ! He thinks he's bad ? I've already killed one man ! Two won't bother me one bit ! If I'm in jail, all I have do is make a phone call ! "

Wifey was busy gathering her bounty, " He wasn't even at the motel ! Well, not inside our room ! He came by because I was ending it ! He just walked up as the cops got there. He didn't know what was going on ! It's over ! You can ask the girls ! They were in the room with me ! He never came in ! "

I had to ask, " Why did you go to a motel to end it ? "

Wifey cried, " Because, I knew if the girls were with me he wouldn't try to talk me out of it ! I couldn't meet him at the house, because you'd kill him ! I didn't know where you were ? He's married and lied to me ! I was stupid ! You were leaving me for her ! I love you ! I'm sorry. So sorry. Please you have to believe me ! It's over and he never meant anything to me ! I love you! I love you ! "

Wifey collapsed in the dirt and sobbed, I felt like real jerk ! So, what else could I do ? Yep, I helped her to her feet and we hugged. We cried and we both swore that we'd make it work. Yep, we'd learned our lesson ! No more hanky panky ! We were going to make it all better. So, she left to do what cheerleading mom's do and I headed out to make a living. What a deal !

Let's break, Your Snazzy1.

 

Nooooooooooo Snazzy, she's just going to break your heart again!

 

Yeah and after YOU kiss her booty I got a bridge for sale or was that swamp land in Arizona..........

 

Yes Leannamarie and Shandera, I'm sure glad ya'll are here to warn me. Gee, I don't what I'd done if it weren't for ya'll. Now Life Goes On.

I did back to back runs, as fast as Maxine could run. The muscle cars were just dropped in the BAT yard. Juan would inspect them and the buyer would come get them later one at a time. Yep, as soon as I unloaded, I'd hit Blackie's motel for a shower and a nap. From there I'd race to load the new sports cars and then head East. What a deal ! Yep, it was a little over a 1,500 mile trip, that took me about 30 hours to drive. Well I cheated a little on my logbook. I'd drive 15 hours straight, then shut down for a quick nap, and then drive nonstop into Waco. Of course once there, I'd unload the sprots cars and beeline it to the collectors place. I'd load the muscle cars and hit the wind. Yep, I was a driving fool and life was good. At Ieast I thought it was. I'd never been a full time truck driver, much less an owner operator. So, when those big settlement checks came rolling in, I figured that my time had come. Well folks not so fast !

Trucking is a high dollar business and as an old hand once told me. ' If you want a million bucks in trucking, just make sure you have two million to start with.' Man, was he right ! That road is expensive ! Fuel, oil, maintance, tires, taxes, insurance, trailer lease, and the rest. Yep, it adds up fast, and how ! Now remember, I didn't have a truck payment and we're still around the end of 1989. Fuel prices were on the rise and where you fueled made a heck of a difference. In L.A. you paid as much as 60 cents more per gallon, than say New Mexico. Repairs on the road were always twice the price of what your local shop would charge. Those Bears are hungrey where ever you go. So, for the drivers just starting out and thinking of becoming an O/O ? Go ahead and I'm sure you'll do fine; ( Snazzy is not responsible for any advice given and Snazzy points are not valid in food lines.)

Well, we'll call it a night Snazzers, tune in tomorrow for more of, Life Goes On, your Snazzy1.

 

Ok Snazzy it's tomorrow. What a life! I keep hoping there's a happy ending to all this.................

 

Personally, I'd be "happy" if the Snazzy Stories NEVER had an ending.
Happy or otherwise.