Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

MC8541SS, I'm glad your still with us. Are you still in Iraq ? As far as typing faster, I updated my browser last night, so let's see if that helps, as Life Goes On.

It was around April of 1992, give or take, a few years or months. Wifey sat on the love seat, as I stood and listened.

Wifey acted concerned, " I heard about Sweet Thang. I'm really sorry, I know that you must feel awful. Is there anything I can do ? "

I was caught off guard, " No ! What's done, is done. You can't change the past. You know, I even feel sorry about her dad. Geez, I can't believe that I said that. So, how are the girls doing ? "

Wifey looked shocked, " Oh ! You remember them ? That's funny since you haven't even bothered to see them. They're fine and ask about you all of the time. You know your oldest has a birthday coming up. She's wanting a car. You think, you might help ? "

I was honest, " Sure ! You know, I do feel sorry about selling her V.W. It's just that I didn't have much of a choice. You think that she wants another convertible ? I can shop around and see what's out there. "

Wifey spat, " Your doing pretty good from what I hear ! Why don't you buy her a new one ! It wouldn't kill you to do something nice for her. She thinks that you hate her ! "

I bit back, " I wonder who she gets that from ? Now listen to me ! Your the one who decided that ya'll don't need me. So, let's just not go there. "

Wifey wanted to argue, " Well ! If you hadn't been screwing around with all of your ###### ! Forget it ! Now, do you want to help her or not ? "

I sat down at the table, " Okay ! I'll see what I can do. What else is on your mind ? "

Wifey began slowly, " Well, your not going to like this. My attorney is going to seize Amelia. Now before you say anything , let me explain ! Legally I'm still own half of her. Remember the judge..."

I exploded, " What are you trying to pull ! Now, maybe you did have some claim on Maxine. But, I bought Amelia after.."

Wifey jumped in, " Wait a minute ! That retirement money you got from Idiot City was half mine. You spent it on that stupid truck and I never saw a penny of it ! "

I stood up, " Well go ahead ! Take Amelia and I'll just buy her back at auction. That finance company has already said that they'd demand the full amount owed ! You think they won't ! Hell ! Your not even on the loan papers ! Yep ! They'll repo her and sale her to the highest bidder. "

Wifey pulled the papers out, " If you sign this, it'll make me half owner. That way you can keep her and just pay me half of ..."

I gave her the look, " Are you nuts ? Your getting a thousand dollars a month in child support ! Amelia doesn't earn that much. Well, not with having her leased on. Sure ! If I were still operating her, I could do better. But hey, listen to me ! Your getting ready to screw up. "

Wifey wouldn't listen, " This has nothing to do with child support ! It's what is rightfully mine. I sacrificed a lot to put you through college. I did without and I didn't get ..."

I'd heard enough, " Your right ! You'd be president of the United States if I hadn't screwed it up. Yep ! Ole Wifey, the Commander and Chief. What a deal ! Your nuts ! "

Wifey handed me the papers, " Just read that ! It will show on the title and on that lease, that I'm half owner. That way, if you screw up..."

I threw the papers down, " Screw up ! What do you mean ? I'm not screwing up ! I've done all I can to keep a float ! It's not easy either ! That truck takes a lot of money to keep running. You think that Ken and Kim drive her for free ? There's tax, fuel, maintenance, repairs,..."

Wifey stood firm, " I know ! But, you can't tell me that truck doesn't make good money ! I know ! My lawyer has the paperwork and Amelia shows that your earning over ..."

I swung the door open, " Just leave ! I'll hire an attorney, or I'll burn Amelia to the ground, before you get squat ! Your nuts ! "

Wifey flew out the door and didn't look back. I decided that 15 cold beers were in order. Yep ! I'd blow Amelia up and go to jail, before letting Wifey have a claim on her. Geez ! So, my mind voices had a field day, as they plotted my next move. Yep, Life Ain't Always Snazzy, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Yes, I'm still in Baghdad. Trying to save up so I can pay cash for my truck and trailer. Then I will drive for my brother. Will be home for 30 days in Jan. Hopefully home for good before next Christmas. The stories are great, keep them coming.

 

Maybe it's time to get the Dallas side of the "family" to take care of Wifey.

 

Okay MC8541SS, you stay safe over there and remember the Snazzers are all pulling for you and the others. So, on with Life Goes On.

Elmer was chugging away, as I drove us to Dallas. Yep, ole Bobby Seahorse had requested our company. I parked Elmer's Cadillac out front of the Corner Lounge. It was the bar next to Seahorse's lounge. Well, both bars faced Lamar st, but they shared a wall. Right next to the Corner Lounge was a topless bar and on the other side of Seahorse's Bar, was a paint and body shop. This area of Dallas was the pits and hadn't seen decent days since the Kennedy assassination. Oh, speaking of, I might mention that Seahorse was a known associate, of none other than. Yep, ole Jack Rugbe, the one who killed Lee Hardly Boswell. Matter of fact, ole Seahorse had a picture hanging behind the bar of him and Rugbe. They were standing, shoulder to shoulder, in front of the Airorsail Club. The date ? November 15,1963, what a deal ! Yep ! Ole Seahorse was an original Gangster and had out lasted the two brothers. Let's see, Sid and Joel Campeasy, they had been Lt's in the Dixie Outfit. But, Seahorse had made Capo and that was that. So, we sashayed in and belly upped to the bar. I guess what amazed me was the inside of the club. It was swank ! I mean really nice, with deep carpet, oak walls, huge glass mirror behind the bar, two huge pool tables. No ! Not the coin operated kind, I mean like the ones you see in the world billiards tournament. It had the state of the art jukebox. Well, it was as big as a Buick and it sure sounded great.


Elmer gave Seahorse a hug, " I'm happy for you and I'll do all that I can. "

Seahorse had to ask, " Is this a friend of ours ? "

Elmer slapped me on the back, " He's a friend of mine and he's on his way up. This is Barney, you might remember him. He was here for Sid's going away party. "

Seahorse shook my hand, " I remember now ! I've heard a lot about you. Ole Sid sure thinks a lot of you. Let's have a drink. "

Elmer sat across from Seahorse, " I'll have a beer, how about you Barney, does that sound good ? "

I sat next to Elmer, " Sure ! This is nice place, you have here Mr. Seahorse. It sure looks different on the outside. "

Seahorse was wound up, " It's a dump ! You should of seen this club back in the day. We had high rollers come in back then, from all over. We had the most famous card players that ever lived. Hell ! I sat here one night and lost the club to Texas Flim ! Hell ! He turned around and lost it right back to me. Them were the days. I'd book over a million bucks in a weeks time ! We had respect back then and everyone knew it. Hell ! Now a days, this 'thing of ours' has lost all it's teeth. Back in day, all I had to do was snap my fingers ! "

Elmer walked down memory lane, " Your right about that Bobby ! I was just telling Geno. I'm sorry, it's hard for me to..."

Seahorse patted Elmers huge hand, " Don't be sorry ! Me and Geno had our differences ! But, no one and I mean no one ! That SOB Johnny ! He'll get his and take my word ! It's going to happen sooner than later. I've already got the go ahead from Dixie. "

I spilled my beer, " Geez ! I'm sorry, man, here let me wipe this up. Geez ! Dang bottle, just jumped out of my hand. 12 ounces, my foot ! It's looks like the Vixon Done Peed oil spill ! "

Elmer spewed like a whale, " Vixon Done Peed ! Heheheheh, hawhawha, Your a Hoot Barney, a real Hoot ! "

Seahorse giggled, " Hehehehe, Yep ! He's a Hoot alright ! Hawhawhaw ! "

I blushed, " I'm real sorry, Mr Seahorse. I didn't mean to do that. "

Seahorse bellowed, " Get over hear and clean this up ! Now, here's the set up. Our friend Mr Johnny the Walk is going to make bail tomorrow. He's going to skip out and never been seen again. Capiche ! "

Elmer looked stunned, " Make bail ? How ? The last I heard, he was being held without bond. Isn't that right Barney ? You can't get bail on a murder charge, can you ? "

Seahorse answered for me, " He's not charged with capital murder ! They just filled a plain Jane murder wrap. It's all being handled by the state. Now, here's the kicker ! I've got the inside scoop ! He's going to be released tomorrow. Now it's all set. My boys will take care of it ! I just wanted to make sure Elmer, that you have a good alibi ! You know, I mean the cops will look at you first. After all, Geno was your business partner. When ole John disappears, they might suspect that you played a part in it. "

Elmer turned red, " Hey ! I want the SOB dead and I'd do it myself ! "

Seahorse agreed, " That's why your going to need to take a vacation. It's all set and your leaving tonight. You and your wife are taking a two week cruise to the Bahamas. Your flight to Houston leaves tonight and ya'll need to be on it. Make sure that your seen and remembered. That way the cops can't put the finger on you. Capiche ! "

Elmer panicked, " Tonight ! My wife can't pack and be ready by then. Hell, it takes her two days just to get ready for bingo. "

Seahorse tossed the airline and cruise tickets down, " Tonight ! Tell her that you have to use these or lose them. Now, that's final ! Have a good trip and I'll see when you get back. Oh, here's a little something to enjoy yourselves with. "

Elmer took the envelopes, " Okay ! What about my operation. I can't just close up shop. "

Seahorse nodded at me, " Your man there, Barney ! He can handle it. Hell, Sid says that he's a go getter ! Just, get the hell out of Dodge and stay away from the phones. Capchie ? "

Elmer and I left in the middle of rush hour. All I heard about was how Elmer was never going to get his wife on that flight. Geez ! I tried to get some pointers, of what I needed to do. You know, how was I going to know how to handle things ? Well, so much for on the job training. Yep, I was going to have play it by ear and hope for the best. But who was I ? Just an excop, driver, fleet owner, bar owner, and acting underboss of the Fort Worth Outfit, as Life Goes On.

Nighty night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Okay Mc8541ss keep us updated and again stay safe. Now, Big Duker that's a good idea. Just have Dallas snuff out Wifey, what a deal, as Life Goes On.

I was lucky that Betty could handle the Palm Club by herself and that Janet could run the Hideaway. Elmer had given me the keys to his Cadillac and to his vending company. It was just off the loop and a ten minute drive from the Hide Away. I had been there a few times, but didn't know crap about the operations. Elmer's head man there was an old goat by the name of Jack. Now ole Jack was a hard worker. He pretty much ran the day to day operations single handedly. So, I just sashayed in and watched him work. Jack had a small office in the rear of the warehouse. He'd collect all of the orders that the vendors had turned in. Once he approved them he'd have the warehouse workers pull the orders and load the vans. Let's see, there were chips, candy bars, peanuts, you know, just regular snack stuff. Then of course the your soda cans of pop and drinks. Let's see, then there were the coin operated machines. You know, to dispense the stuff and also the pacman, pinball, and other games. The big ticket items, like the pool tables, juke boxs, and such, were stored at a different warehouse.

Anyway, I was surprised at size of the company. It had at least 60 vendors that drove the company vans. Another 5, or 6 warehouse workers that pulled the orders. At least four, or five office workers that answered the phones and made the payroll. Now, all of the vans were white in color and had no markings. They had a wire cage that separated the driver from the merchandise in the back. There were no windows and vans were stripped down models. No ac, no passenger seat, no radio, nothing but a rolling van. What a deal ! Jack filled me in on his lunch break. All of the vendors worked on a commission based on the amount of sales they made. Their routes were restricted to a certain area that was assigned to them. A good vendor could make an easy $1,000 per week, if he worked hard, and put in the hours. Now, to me that wasn't a bad deal. Heck, I know driving to a hundred different bars, convenient stores, liquor stores, and malls, might be a little difficult to do. But hey ! That's not so bad. Hell, truck drivers have to travel hundreds of miles every day and deliver to a lot worse places. Heck, they don't even sleep in their own beds at night. What a deal !

So, after lunch Jack dropped the bomb, " Oh Barney, you probably need to be over at the other place, "

I had to ask, " What other place ? "

Jack gave me the look, " Elmer's other place ! You know ! Where the money is collected and counted. "

I down played it, " Oh that place ! Yeah ! Now I forget ? Where is it ? "

Jack rolled his eyes, " The place across the loop from here ! It has that big security fence around it and you have to clear security to get in. "

I acted like, I was in the know, " Oh ! That place ! Yeah sure, I remember it now. Been there a hundred times. Yep, the ole money collecting, counting place, and where the security is. Yeah, I guess, I'll mosey over there and see how things are going. You want go with me ? "

Jack blew a fuse, " I work for a living ! I'm not like you and your friends. One of these days ya'll will learn that there is no easy money ! Yep ! One of these days the fiddler will have to be paid and I feel sorry for ya'll. Yep ! One of these days ! "

I shook Jack's hand and thanked him for his time. I was a little shocked that he had such a better than thou attitude. I mean, he's looking down his snoot at me, and what have I done ? Yep, I'm just a driver, that can't drive and trying to help out organized crime. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I pulled up to the security gate as an armed guard approached. He recognized Elmer's Cadillac, but had to log me in. I was given a security card that clipped onto my pocket. Of course, I was wearing my best suit ! Heck, I looked just like a made man. You know, I mean, I had made this far, hadn't I ? So, I got buzzed in the main entrance and waited. A few minutes passed, before the real Gangster came out to greet me. Now remember a while back I mentioned that Fort Worth had six made men in Geno's outfit. Well let's see, Geno was dead, Sid had retired and moved, Johnny the Walk was in jail (soon to be deceased), Elmer was still kicking, Big Owl was still around, so this was the sixth man. His name was Sal Soto and he was a character. Yep, ole Sal was short and stocky, around 50 years old, dressed well, and had the blackest hair I'd ever seen. I mean it looked like he'd soaked his head in a bucket tar. Now, ole Sal was nice enough. He invited me back to his office and we cut it up. His secretary wiggled in and poured us a cup of Crap-a-Genie. Yuck ! I hate that fancy coffee that taste like hot peppers and honey. But, I was polite and raved about how good it was.

Anyway the low down was that Sal was Elmer's right hand man. You know,Geno had Big Owl at the pawnshops, so Sal. Well you get the idea. Anyhow, I was worried that Sal might be upset that Elmer had left me.. Well, not in charge, but kind of like a .. Well, I didn't know what I was ! All I knew was that I had the keys and nice Cadillac to drive. What a deal ! Well, Sal kind of put me at ease. You see, the problem was that the outfit had out grown it's self. Yep, like any business that grows you have to keep up. You can't run a kennel without good help ! So, from what Sal had to say, the outfit had just grown too fast. Yep, they hadn't brought in enough new folks to keep pace. Of course that made sense to me. I mean they couldn't put adds in the paper for help wanted. Well, I guess they could have. Yep, help wanted, must be hard worker, willing to die for money, kill for respect, willing to spend years in prison, pack heat, and keep secrets. Benefits include great pay, flashy cars, one pinky ring, and free burial at sea. We are an equal opportunity employer. Capchie !

Anyway, I liked Sal and he was a no nonsense type guy. We decided that since Elmer was away that I needed to over see the collections. Yep, so that's what I did. No ! Not the street collections, been there and done that. This was high dollar collections. You know, the big money from the high rollers and credit loans. I was a little hesitant, because I knew that I sure didn't intimidate many folks. Well, according to Sal I didn't have to. All I had to do was to show up ! Yep, just a visit from the outfit and folks would pay up. No need to get violent ! Well, at least I didn't have to. Just collect the money, or I'd pass the word. Then ! Watch out ! Yep, what a deal ! So, I thanked Sal and took his list. All I had to do was bring back the doe. No, not a female deer ! The other kind. Well, you see what I mean, as Life Goes On.

Nighty, night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

The first collection I went on was at a Medical Center in Fort Worth. Yep, it seemed that one of the doctors there was a little late on his payment. Sal's list showed the full amount owed was $35,692. Of course that was if his loan was paid in full. A minimum amount of $4,600 was due. Now, when I first glanced over the doc's loan it seemed like a pretty good deal. He was only paying two points, which is 2 % interest. What a deal ! But, I did some math and crap ! Yep, a 2 % interest rate that compounded into 104 % per year, or 10% per week. Yep, he was screwed. The $4,600 was just the interest for the week and didn't touch the principle. Yep, and that was the least he could pay. Man, that's a ripoff ! Boy, this guy must be an Idiot! So, I sashayed into his office and had a seat in the waiting room. Heck, business must of been good, because there were more old folks that at a retirement home. I didn't have to wait long, before the nurse called my name. I was buzzed in and sat down in one of those little rooms. You know, it had one of those white papered mattresses, laying on top of a metal bench. The doc. rushed in and dismissed the nurse.

The Doc. was sweating, " You shouldn't of come here ! I know that I'm a little behind, but I'll have your money ...."

I gave the Doc, the look, " In my hand, by five o'clock ! I'll be back and don't make me have to...."

The Doc stuttered, " Oh, oh, five is fine, fine, I'll have it here ! I just need to ...."

I pointed to my palm, " Have it in my hand ! 5 pm ! Here ! "

I sashayed out and drove to the next victim. Let's see, a jewelery store in the middle of downtown. The Jeweler was an old baldy and saw me coming. He tried, by being too friendly.

Ole Jeweler stood behind the glass counter, " You must be Barney. Sal said that you were coming by. That's a beautiful suit, is it imported ? My, that sure looks good and....'

I gave him the look, " $26,080 ! Now ! Is there a problem ! "

The Jeweler look scared, " I need more time ! That horse ...."

I shook my head, " That horse already paid me ! Now ! What are we going to do ? There's what ? A quarter mil, in here ! Do I just help myself, or are you going to pony up ? "

The Jeweler turned pale, " I need to go to the bank ! You can follow me over there. I'm sorry. Frank ! Frank ! Watch the front, I'll be right back ! "

I followed old Baldy to the bank and he handed over the full amount. What a deal ! Yep, this collecting stuff was a piece of cake. So, I made about a half dozen collections and even got the Doc. to pay up. I met Sal back at his office. He was impressed and wanted to show me around. There were money counting machines in the back of the new warehouse. Two women were busy stuffing them with greenbacks. A big fella had several large canvas bags that he dumped on top of the table. All three took a break.

Sal began my tour, " This is paper room and the coin room is next door. We get it all counted and then have Big Owl do his tally. Now, since Geno isn't in the picture anymore. Well, we'll have to see, how that works out. But, anyway, you see how it works. Everything we can't wash is sent back to the pawnshops. Sometimes it takes more than one washing to have the money clean. But, once that's done, it's as clean as a hounds tooth. Ole Elmer has a really good deal going. Say ! What do you think about ole Johnny getting hit ? "

I shrugged, " I liked Geno ! He was a bit demanding, but he was good to me. That Johnny fella ? Well, he got what he gave. I guess, because I sure didn't have anything to do with it. "

Sal laughed, " Sure you did ! I heard that you took out the contract and even made his bail. "

I felt my leg being pulled, " Yep ! Sure ! Ole Barney the Boss ! Man ! I can't order a pizza ! You know, I'm just an associate. I'm not close to being in the circle. Matter of fact, I really don't want to be. You guys are alright, but hey ! I just work for Elmer and do what he says. "

Sal put his arm on my shoulder, " Mister ! When you get in as deep as you are. Well, your in ! You know that ole Sid is my uncle ? Well, he is ! So, trust me, your as good as made ! Look, what have you got to lose ? I mean from what Elmer and Sid told me, your perfect. I wish that we'd met along time ago. I mean that ! "

I blushed, " Thanks ! Oh, what do want me to do tomorrow ? I'll stop by the Hide Away Club and check with Janet. I'll see Betty tonight and ..."

Sal slapped me on the back, " Just handle things your way. Your doing great and when Elmer gets back. Well, I 'll put in a good word for you. Just keep on those collections and check back with me Friday. Capiche ? "

So, I drove myself by the Hide Away and cut it up with Janet. Yep, things were going just fine. I checked with Betty at the Palm Club, before calling it a night. My mind voices were happy, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I had thought the news of Sexy Thang's death was just a ploy by her family so you'd think she was dead and stay away forever, but I guess if wifey heard the news it is true. So sad.

 

Nope Leannamarie, poor Sweet Thang. I miss her and my mind voices speak of her often, as Life Goes On.

By Friday I had collected over $80,000, but of course only 4% was mine. That's one reason why I liked collecting from the high end borrowers. Yep, I got my cut straight off the top. Now, I don't know about you, but for me. Well, making $3,200 for working less than 20 hours in one week. Yep, what a deal ! Of course there is always one egghead that rocks the boat. Yep, and of all the ones I collected from, this one should of known better. She owned a bar in Idiot City, just off the state hwy. I knew the lady and she knew me. Yep, she had run that club for 30 years and I'm sure she knew all the old gangsters. But, she'd stiffed Elmer out of a few thousand dollars and we know that's not nice. So, I was polite as entered her club. Her name was Alice and she was a real tough ole bird. Yep, running a bar on that highway you had to be. Anyway, it was around 11am, on a Friday and there were a couple of local bar flies at the bar. I was trying to catch Alice when she wasn't drunk. Of course that was impossible, so anyway I pulled up a stool. Alice was behind the bar and giving me a had stare. Her white hair was fixed in a ponytail and her face wore war paint.

Alice spat, " What do you want ! I remember you, from when you use to come in here. Yeah, you were that drunk cop that caused all that trouble. So, I guess your a tough guy now ! Look guys, we got us a real live one here ! So, spit it out, tough guy ! "

I took off my shades, " How are you doing Alice ? So, I guess you know why I'm here. Now, I'm not wanting any trouble and you know that. Let's see, there seems to be the matter of $4,000 due. Now, you can pay and I'll see you next week, or just hand over the forty grand. If you do that, I'll clear the books. "

Alice turned red, " I've paid Elmer the last cent ya'll see ! He's been bleeding me dry for three months ! That's it ! So ! What are you going to do tough guy, break my legs ? You and who else ! Here have one on the house ! "

I wiped the shot of Wild Turkey from my brow, " Okay Alice ! I'll just turn you account over to our collection department. It's nothing to me, I was just trying to save you some grief. You have a nice day and I'll stay in touch. You take care. Bye, bye, "

I drove straight to the pay phone and gave Sal a ring, " Hey there ! It's you know who. We got us a problem. That ole witch doesn't seem to get the picture. I figured that maybe she needs a wake up call. "

Sal talked freely, " It's okay Barney, we just got us a secure line put in. We'll hear a clicking sound if we have anyone listening in. So. ole Alice won't play ball. That's too bad ! Look, my guys are busy. How about you taking care of it ? I'll give you an extra 10% of what you collect off her."

I did the math, " Hell ! She hasn't got a dime ! Sal were wasting our time with this one. She's already paid that loan back, twice and again. Why don't we just close the book on this one ? "

Sal laughed, " Barney, we never close the books ! That ole hen better lay some golden eggs. Now, just give her a hint. You know, bust a window, or kill her dog. Just get her attention. "

I was honest, " I'll have to pass on that ! I'm a dog lover and breaking windows isn't something ..."

Sal got serious, " Look Barney ! She knew the stakes. If that #### witch had won she'd popped a cap in us for not paying up ! Now, send her a message and get her in line ! Capiche ! "

I hung up the phone and drove to my next victim. I really didn't want to fool with Alice. She was a dying breed, of tough ole bird stock, that just wasn't around anymore. I mean who else would stand up to the mob and spit in their eye ? What a deal ! But, I knew that Elmer and Sal weren't going to let her off easy. So, I decided to wait things out. Heck, Elmer was a lot easier to talk to than Sal. Especially if I got him a little poo-faced. Yep, I'd just pass on Alice and see what happens, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.