Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Yep Mc, Ducks, and Duker ole Barney is as free as a Blue Bird, as Life Goes On.

The Blue Bird area of Dallas is located at the far Southeast end of the city. It is a much better area than the outskirts of downtown where I had been at the #### Nation Army. It was also much better than where the VA Hospital is at. My biggest problem was not having a car. The Dallas Transit Authority, better known as FART, had a bus stop right in front of my large apartment complex. My problem was in order to get to work at the hospital, I had to ride the stinking bus downtown, and then transfer to a different bus. Now, like most big cities, Dallas had it's problems. There were bands of roving want to be gangsters that targeted any victims that crossed their paths. They always ran in packs of four or more. Most were just young teenagers and didn't have anything better to do. It wasn't much of a problem early in the mornings, but after dark Kattie bar the door. For me to report for work at 7 am, I had to leave my apartment at 5:30am. Yep ! It was over an hours bus ride that seemed to take days. The worse part was having to transfer buses. The stop was in downtown, just down the street from the Blue Hound Bus Lines, and across from a Mickey Dee's. The fast food joint was the meeting place for the pack of bad butts. I was forced to take the same route every work day. I did have my razer Knife and I tried to keep my street smarts. You know !

Anyway, as long as I left early in the a.m. and was able to be home before dark, I managed not to have too many problems. But, I knew that it was just a matter of time. Yep, if I had to work late, or decided to go out after hours. Well, you know what I mean. So, I saved up and after about two months, I had enough to go car shopping. I purchased an old Datsun that ran good, but looked awful. I paid around $ 800 for it and I felt that was a fair price. Now, I still didn't have my drivers license and I couldn't get one. You see, that ole Datsun wasn't insured and I couldn't get any. Yep, that DWI conviction was still on my driving record and that meant a SR22 had to be filed. A SR22 is just a code name for the insurance companies to legally rip you off. Yep ! They charge you five times the rate for the State required liability insurance. You have no choice, either pay up, or walk. Oh sure, getting killed riding the bus is another option. Anyway, I knew that driving without a license, no insurance, and no registration. Yep, you have show proof of liability insurance to get your tags. So, I cheated and went to the local pick-your-part wrecking yard. Back then Texas still used little sticky tags that showed when your plates expired. I used a razer blade to remove one from a junked car. Yep, a little super glue later and I looked legal as a Judge's Cadillac. What a deal ! Now, I guess your wondering why I just didn't pay for the high cost insurance. To be honest, it never crossed my mind. Yep, after living with low lifes, muggers, and thieves. Well, what did you expect ? Yep ! I wasn't the same old sweet Barney. I guess somewhere between prison. nut hospitals, and halfway houses, I'd changed.

Yep, it's funny how the system that was suppose to help me, ended up turning me into a law hating, system using, mixed up, bitter man. Oh sure, some of it was my making. I did try to change and some of programs were a little help to me. But, let's be honest ! You know, when your dealing with a grown man. Treat him like one ! Don't play mind games and force him to kneel down to some Higher Power. That old crap may work on a few folks, but it's silly. The councilors admitted that the 12 step program only has a about a twelve percent success rate. Now, that's for the first year and it drops to six percent by the second year. Of course, when your dealing with hardened addicts that's probably not a bad percentage. But hey ! I believe that is the problem. If you get caught up in the system, it's only designed to deal with the worse of the worse. The average Joe who slips up a few times and isn't a hardened case. Well, screw him ! Yep ! Just throw him, or her into the system and let the games begin. Am I bitter ? Your #### right that I am ! The 12 Step Program was never designed for the courts to force people into it. It was a program designed to help folks that willing came by their own choosing. Yep ! I'll get off my soapbox. I will say, that for the few that managed to really benefit from it. Well, more power to you and I wish you the best.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I know you are writing some true fiction here, but this last post is dead on the truth. I have always believed that those 12-step programs are only for those who want the help. You can not force anyone to change who does not want to. It really is pointless.

But anyway...continue on with the tales. I need someting to cheer me up today!

 

I'm glad that Sassy is still with us and of course agreeing with the Snazzy1 is worth 50 Snazzy points. Let's see what happens, as Life Goes On.

My job at the hospital wasn't really a job. It was more like a game of hide and seek. You see, the V.A. works off an annual budget, as do many other large government agencies. So, it's feast or famine. Anyway, the V.A. was rolling in doe. Yep, that meant that all the money had to be spent. Yep ! If the funds aren't spent, then the next year the budget is cut. Now no administrator of a large government agency is going to allow that to happen. So, me and the 50 other slobs that were hired on were just temporary help. You know, to waste your tax dollars and keep our crazy system going. What a deal ! Anyway, my supervisor was over the plumbing section. Now, we didn't do any repairs like a leaky faucet or a stopped up toilets. Oh no ! That was done by the sanitation crew. Yep ! The electrical crew took care of the sanitation and the patients took care of themselves. Hey ! Remember, were dealing with the government here and it's not suppose to make any sense. Anyway, our mission was not to get caught by whoever was looking for us. I never did figure out who wanted to find us. I mean it was the uppity ups that ordered us to go hide. Yep ! Maybe it was the taxpayers that wanted to catch us. Anyway, I found a good hiding place under the hospital. There were tunnels that stretched for miles. You know, all those huge pipes and stuff. So, I decided to explore and I got lost. Yep ! Two days later I came out from under a man hole cover. Yep, I was in San Antonio, Texas by the river walk. What a deal !

Anyway, along came January 1994 and I was laid off. To be honest about it I was happy to be let go. Yep ! There's something about being paid for doing nothing that makes a man feel worthless. So, I went to the Texas Workforce Office and filed for unemployment. Yep ! I got paid for doing nothing again. What a deal ! Well, it turned out that the economy was in such bad shape that a special program had been put in place. I don't remember what they called it. Something like JPTA or JTPA, or WPTA or TWPA, or whatever. Anyway, the deal was that to qualify, you had to of used up all of your unemployment benefits. Now get this ! I had gotten so rotten, that I hadn't even looked for a job. Yep ! I'd lived in my free apartment, paid for by your tax dollars, and drew over $200 per week in unemployment benefits. Yep ! I'd sleep until noon and then drive over to my hangout. It was the Layover Bar, right across the street from the Flying J, and right off of IH 20 and Lancaster st. What a deal ! Yep ! I was pool hustler and bar room rummy. I knew the bar owner real well, her name was Vicki. She was an elderly lady and owned several bars in Dallas. Vicki knew Bobby Seahorse, so we had some pretty good stories to swap. Vicki kept a clean joint and she was on the up and up. She'd let me run a bar tab for the week and never minded when I paid a day late. Vicki hired the prettiest barmaids in Dallas and I bet every trucker that ever stopped in there will agree with me.

Anyway, I decided to let my unemployment benefits run out. That way I could see about getting the government to pay for some type of training. I was kind of interested in becoming an electrician or maybe a brain surgeon. You know, something that paid good and that was steady. I knew that my cop days were dead and gone. I also knew that my driving days were over. Oh, I guess you wondering whatever happened to my X-Wifey. Well, she married the Ostrich. Yep, while I was somewhere lost in the system. He divorced his third wife and married her. Yep ! I guess that's one reason I returned to my old habits. I mean. Why not ? Yep ! She was enough to turn the Pope into a crack head. Geez ! Oh, the good news was that I agreed not to kill both of them. In return, I never paid her another penny in child support. Yep ! I got a pretty good deal and I sure feel sorry for the Ostrich. Oh, yeah ! Their still married till this day and I wish them. #### if I do !

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

You brought back some ole' memories there talking about wifey again. I had to break out the album and run down memory lane. Found this pic of you Barney and that ostrich she married. Ahhh the good ole days when you wanted to beat an ostrich down!

 

Right on the mark Sassy, looks just like him, here's another 50. Oh, the poor Ostrich is now in a wheel chair and X-wifey is a certified nurse. Yep, a marriage made in heaven. He use to have some money, but he doesn't have anymore. I wonder why ? What a deal, as Life Goes On.

So, I had worked at the hospital for about four months, before being laid off. Then I drew unemployment for about six months and mostly stayed drunk. What a deal ! Well, finally the Texas Workforce handed me my paperwork to report for the job training and placement center. It was downtown and I sashayed in. There were little school desk facing the green chalkboard and we took our seats. Several Egg Heads passed out our paperwork and we filled out forms for three days. What a deal ! Yep ! I figured that we'd just be handed checks and be allowed to chose our own futures. You know ! But, oh no ! The program was government funded. Well you know ! Anyway, one of the test we were given was to match our abilities with the best suited occupations. You know, it was suppose to narrow down what skills we had to which jobs we'd be best at. So, I met with one of the job councilors and we went over my results. Now, this councilor was a neat guy. He was in his early 30's, dressed well, and above all, just a down to earth guy. Yep ! Real friendly and was truly interested in helping me. We sat in his small cubicle and cut it up.

He gave me a firm handshake, " How you doing Mr Goose ? I'm councilor Nice Guy and I just read over you results. It seems that your best suited for a career in law enforcement. How does that sound ? "

I sat down and gave him the look, " I use to be a cop ! No way, ever again, even if they'd have me. Haven't you read over my past employment history and ...."

Nice Guy cut me off, " No ! We try not to look at that. You see, we want to start fresh. So, let's see. How about truck driving ? Maybe, becoming an owner operator ? You placed high in that area. "

I shook my head, " Nope ! I'd love to be back on the road again, but I have a DWI conviction. I've owned two trucks and really miss driving. "

Nice Guy had to ask, " So, how long has it been since that DWI ? I mean has it been over three years ago ? "

I strained my brain, " Well, no ! You see it's real complicated. There were actually two DWIs and the first one, I guess it's been over four years ago. Now, the Judge back dated the second one, so maybe their both over 3 years. I really don't know. "

Nice guy dialed his phone, " Hey Girl ! It's Nice Guy ! Say, run this D.L. for me. It's Goose, Barney, dob 9-14-52. Uh huh, yes, clear, expired, no moving violations, feet stink. Good deal, Girl ! Hey, you want to get naked ? Oh, really ? How long ? Your kidding ! Him ? Hello ? Hello ? " Hell, she hung up ! So, here's the deal Barney ! Your DL is clear, just renew it and your set to go. How does that sound ? "

I gave him the look, " Your an x-cop ? "

Nice Guy laughed, " Hell no ! Before I went to work here, I use to be a recruiter for All American Truck Driving School. That was an x-coworker of mine. She has knockers, that look like water balloons. We use to get a room and .... Well ! Anyway, back to you. Like I said Barney, your set to go. Just get your DL renewed and I'll get you in their next class. "

I hesitated, " Hey ! I appreciate what your trying to do. But man, this is crazy ! Even if I get a CDL no one will hire me. Not with ..."

Nice Guy raised his hand and whispered, " Look, all they do is check your driving record for the past three years. I know, I use to help place their graduates. Just, fudge on the entrance application. Put down that you've never had a DWI conviction. They'll never check ! "

I was shocked, " Well, they'll find out when they check with my past. I mean, you know, my past employers. "

Nice Guy grinned, " Hey, look ! Just put down that you've worked here, for the past four years. See this card ? That's the company name and this guy here is the one they need to contact. He'll verify everything and they'll accept what he says. "

I was confused, " What good is that ? I mean, maybe that school will accept it. But hey ! When I go to find a job...."

Nice Guy winked at me, " Barney, the school does the pre-hires. You know, all the background stuff. The companies pay extra for that. You see, the way it works, is like this. The companies just want to do a little as the law requires. They'd hire the mentally ill to fill seats ! So, they give the dirty work to the schools. See, the schools need every student they can get. So, they fudge as much as they can and ask as little as possible. It's the school that furnishes this. "

I took the business card, " So, I put down that worked as a telemarketer, for this outfit, and this guy will verify that. Then lie about my driving record and don't put down where I really worked. I don't know ! "

Nice Guy went for the sale, " Look Barney ! You just follow along. They'll get you hired on, as soon as you finish their school. It'll get your foot in the door ! Now what have you got to lose ? Just think ! You get back on the road and in a couple of years buy yourself another truck. You can be an owner operator again. Trust me ! I did this for over five years and it works. Just keep your nose clean and drivers' door shut. Ten-four and roger that ?

I took the card and did some research. Yep, back in 1994 all the law required was that you didn't have a conviction for DWI in a commercial motor vehicle. Four Wheeler offenses didn't even count. Oh sure, you had to have a valid operators license to get a CDL. But hey ! I had valid license, as soon as I renewed mine. Sure it was bit shady and under handed, but what did I have to lose ? I mean really what did I have to lose ? No one was knocking down my door to hire me ! Yep ! The economy was starting to pick back up and trucking companies were begging for qualified drivers. So, I went down and purchased some liability insurance. Of course that Sr-22 requirement had been removed. So, I took my driving test and even got the required CDL learners permit. You know, the written part. Yep, I stayed sober and studied like a first year law student. I really wanted to make this work. I loved the road and felt like it had been robbed from me. Yep, we'll show them how to run safe and by the rules. Good ole Barney will be starting truck driving school, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Oh Mr. Goose-sounds too good to be true. I see background fibs coming back to bite somebody in the arse.

 

Well Big Duker you might have a good point. Let's see if lying ever pays to get a head, as Life Goes On. Oh, by the way. Snazzers, Lurkers, and Guest, please don't confuse All American Truck Driving School with another school with a similar name. They are both located within a few miles of each other, but are completely different.

The night before I was leaving for the trucking school Mike the Beard showed up at my apartment. I was taken by surprise, but happy to see him. He'd finished his court sentence and needed my help. Mike had returned to Dallas and gone to work as a brick mason. He was clean and sober, but still looked like hell. Anyway, Mike had started his own swimming pool repair company and had several jobs lined up. His problem was that he was flat broke from buying equipment and supplies. He offered me half of his business if I'd invest a few hundred dollars and allow him to flop at my place. Well, I couldn't just let him sleep in that rusty Mustang. So, I gave him the key to my apartment and $ 200 bucks. The deal was that he'd stay for one month, while I was in school. Yep ! It was good to help a friend out and I knew that Mike was trustworthy.

All American Truck Driving School, a.k.a. AATDS, was located just off IH45, just outside of Waco,Texas. Now, I'd done a little checking and the school itself had a fine reputation. But ! The owner of the school was in Federal Prison for tax fraud. Most of the equipment at the school had been seized and sold at auction. The owners wife had kept the school open but the school was losing money. So, our class was the last one. Yep ! Now, it was PTDI certified, you know. Professional Truck Driving Institute, that outfit that approves schools. Anyway, that didn't matter to me. I was there just to get my CDL and hopefully a decent driving job. Now, the program that I was in paid my $3,600 tuition which included the months room and board. The students had to report to a motel just off IH45 the day before class began. I arrived and checked into my room. Now, Pony Tail was nice guy. He was my roommate and friendly enough. We shared a double occupancy room and got to know each other. Pony Tail had just been released from the Texas Department of Corrections. He'd served several years for drug convictions, but had been a trucker for several years, before that. Yep, we hit it off pretty good.

Early the next morning we climbed in my ole Datsun and made our way. It was still dark and the morning Texas dew covered the scenery. I had a map and followed it to the entrance. It was an old abandoned airstrip that had a locked gate. From a distance I could see lights on at the terminal, which I assumed was now a classroom. Anyway, Pony Tail and I were sipping our morning go-juice and cutting it up. All of the sudden a huge barrel chested Nut slammed his hand across my windshield. I actually jumped out of my driver's seat. The Nut was screaming at me to back up. Well, I couldn't. Yep, there were cars lined up behind me. So, I got out and asked the other drivers to back up. Anyway, the Nut swung open the locked gate, but waved me to the side. I pulled over and got out. The Nut was a big Nut. Yep, he was a good 6' tall, weighed around 240 lbs, muscle bound, and wanting to fight. Now, I wasn't looking for a fight. You know, I didn't know that the Nut needed to open that gate. Heck, I figured the gate swung the other way and opened from the inside. Anyway, the Nut stepped on my toes and stuck his nose in mouth. So, I chomped down. Yep ! I just bit off the nose of the head driving instructor. What a deal ! Yep, this wasn't getting off to a very good start, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Here we go Snazzy, can't wait to find out how the training goes now!!
I'll be mia for a little while, going to orientation for a company out of
old Miss, be gone a few weeks. but you can bet first thing I check when I get back is your thread! Take care!! AllLab

 

Alright AllLab do the Snazzers proud and let us know how you make out. Yep, it's like having one leave the nest, sniff, sniff, as Life Goes On.

The classroom was inside the the old terminal and there were about 40 of us that showed up. Yep, at least 10 students didn't even bother to make the trip. So, the first order of business was the ole wee-wee test and physical. Yep, we were handed our paperwork and sent to the medical clinic. It was clear across town and it took all morning. Once that was completed we returned to the classroom and waited for the stragglers. We filled out more paperwork, were issued our study guides, and the school rules. You know ! No biting noses and stuff like that. Anyway, I was tickled to be there and happy that I had made it that far. So, the next day 30 students were in the class. Yep, eight folks failed their drug test and one guy had high blood pressure. The other student just quit on his own and left. What a deal ! So, ole Bit Nose began his boring lessons. Yep, that man could put a stampeding herd of longhorns to sleep. Geez ! Anyway, after four hours of napping we all wiped the sleeping slobber from our desk and got introduced to the big rigs. Yep, it was a mixed breed of all sorts. You know, Volvos, Internationals, Freightliners, and Kenworths. Now, these weren't new trucks and I understood why. You know, they were used to train student drivers. Anyway, these were the track trucks. Yep, they weren't even road worthy. All they did was to circle that old airfield on the worn out airstrips. Now really that was a pretty good set up. I mean you didn't have to worry about running over anything. Of course Pony Tail and I had a leg upon the rest. Yep, we'd driven professionally and weren't to concerned about passing the course.

Now, I will admit that most of the book learning stuff was new to me. I was real happy that I'd already gotten my learners permit and had studied the free Commercial Truck Study Guide. Yep ! It's soapbox time again. How in the hell can folks be so stupid ? I mean every student there knew they were required to get a CDL learners permit. Why wait and try to cram a 100 pages of crap into your head in a weeks time ? It's not like these folks were kidnapped off the streets. They all knew what was required and had ample time to prepare. The same thing about those failed drug test. What were they thinking ? I mean give me a break ! No wonder the driving schools treat students like idiots. If any of you Snazzers, Guest, or Lurkers ever decide to attend a driving school. Well, go prepared ! Geez ! Anyway, the school was a little ignorant too. I mean, for the few that had shown up all prepared there wasn't any reward. Yep, we had to sit through the same boring lessons. Anyway, get this ! Yep, five students couldn't pass the written exam for their learners permit. Now, that's after given a week to study and at least 12 hours of classroom instruction.

No ! I'm still on my soapbox ! Get this ! Four ! Yes, Four ! Four students were arrested at the DPS office for outstanding warrants. Can you believe that ? What in the world ? Did they think that no one would run a warrant check ? Now, I of all people, can understand some of that. But hey ! That's why I had gotten all of that out of the way. You know, why take any chances ? Get all of your DUCKS in row and be prepared ! One more thang, before we move on. Now a days the companies are real bad about sending you a prehire letter. Believe me that doesn't mean a thing ! They'll wait until you actually show up at their school, before they do anything. Yep, they'll lead you to believe that all you have to do is pass their school and you've got a job. Bull feathers ! They won't even start processing you until you've quit your job, bid your family farewell, told all your friends that your going trucking, burnt all your bridges, taken a long bus ride, and have all your eggs in one basket. Then they'll give you the bad news. Yep, you may of passed the DOT physical, but your not fit enough to pass their company physical, or some past employer can't be reached to verify something, or that that littering ticket 20 years ago shows up as a dog molesting charge, or that your feet stink. So, don't fall for it ! Yep, if a company tries to pull that, it just means one thing. Their looking for suckers ! Here is my free advice and take it for what it is worth.

A lot of the companies now push you to becoming a leased owner operator. So, they'll check back at least seven years. Yep, that's because federal law allows credit bureaus to keep records that far back. They'll also check on any commercial driving jobs that you've had in the past ten years. So, be smart ! Yep, contact your past employers and get written signed letters of reference. You know ! Also, get a copy of your driving record. No ! Not just a three year one. Pay extra and get the complete one that goes as far back as possible. Get a copy of your criminal history, especially if it shows that you don't have one ! Go and take a complete medical physical and keep a copy for yourself. What I'm saying is, cover all bases ! You know, in case your sent packing. Then you can sue the pants off of them ! Alright, I'm getting off my soapbox. Now, for the poor souls that have something in their past that make it difficult to get a driving job. Oh, that's for a post later on and another soapbox.

Let's break Snazzers, your full of wind Snazzy1.

 

Careful Snazz-Those CR England secret police will put you in Salt Lake City jail for knocking their perfect lease program.