Have to start somewhere

You are hitting a pinnacle moment. You are stressed because of what has happened, and it will take you into a mindset where negative focuses are all that creep into your psyche. You have been stressed, winter is sometimes slower anyway, and you are questioning your choices. It is human nature. It is not "remorse", it is only evaluation

This too shall pass. You have a desire to achieve this and will be a better driver for traveling this path.

Don't let these negatives get too much into you and look for, and remember, the positives. The people you have met along the way whom you wouldn't mind meeting again.

..............and keep driving

 

Hey Daytona. Take a few deep breaths and compose yourself. You have been a hero to many on this board. Take a few days off if you can. If you get near SE PA let me know. I'll buy you lunch or dinner.
I wish you the best.
respects,
Dennis

 

Daytona i think what you need is a few hours away from the truck and you will get revived. It will be ok -- trust me! We all have days like that--then go to sleep--wake up--and do it all over again. Hang in there! Just turn on your tv and watch a comedy--you will feel better soon!

 

I am glad that you enjoy driving. Try to put your time in and then GET OUT! Find a good local company that pays by the hour and gets you home every night. I am partial to unions but that is because I work for a union shop. I would never work for anything else. I have truly enjoyed reading your posts. Unfortunatley, I knew it was only a matter of time before you found out what it was REALLY like out there. Give it your best shot.

Drive safe

 

That's OTR - not many other professions out there that come near close the rigors and demands on your entire life than truck driving. It isn't for everyone, that's a fact. Personally, I am able to run 100% legal because I am a local driver, paid by the hour, and am not pressure to do ANYTHING that isn't right. Beyond that, my employers don't know trucking regulations anyway - they depend on us drivers to inform them what we can and can't do.
I believe if you give it time, you will find the balance in all of this chaos and will learn whatever limitations you are going to impose, whether your employer likes it or not. I've rejected several loads at my current employer's simply because whoever loaded the truck obviously didn't have a clue. Made them take everything off and reload it, or simply did it myself, but refused to haul an unsafe load.
Good luck, take it easy, don't let this stuff keep you up at "night".

 

We feel your pain bro... /duck Fed Ex just flew past again .

Remember Jan and Feb are the slowest months of the year. The business will pick up. We were scheduled to go home, ended up in TN with 1500 miles and no load headed to FL. We ended up going upstairs to our dispatcher and taking a run to Utah just to try to get a paycheck as opposed to sitting around TN for another day or so. Kind of the wrong way, but if I'm going to sleep in this truck I want to make money. All of our loads fro the last week have been solo loads. I have slept so many nights in a row, I'll have to start over again getting my body used to staying awake at night when we finally start getting team loads again. Right now I'm sitting in Sidney, NE with a load to Ogden, UT with 11 hours of driving to delivery and 60 hours to get it there before its late. Thank god they agreed to take it tomorrow morning or Id be on vacation in UT lol.

I end up turning the CB off a lot of the time anymore... most of the stuff on the radio is lonely buttwipes who would rather hear themselves talk or start trouble with folks just so they can talk than useful information. You immediately know when you get near a truck stop because the air waves are inevitably taken up by some guy with a power mic, linear, and echoplex who is either singing or trying to incite a riot. The other day in a rare moment of silence, a lady asked for a break and when acknowledged proceeded to recite a 5 minute commercial for a topless cafe.... Gotta love it. When my wife is driving, she flat turns off the CB and wont turn it on unless there is an accident or some such. She drives the speed limit and doesn't want to hear the super truckers ######## at her.

Go home, spend some quality time the lady and remember the freight will get better and only you decide how legal your books are. You decide when the truck runs and when it doesn't not the company. A little trick, if a dispatcher wants you to run illegal a call to the log department "My dispatcher wants me to do .... but I can't do it legally... What do I do?" call will force the company to cover its butt and the dispatcher will get stomped on. If they try to make you run through unsafe conditions, a call to safety will achieve the same results. Our company has fired 4 fleet managers for that type of stuff in the last couple of weeks. But remember to keep it reasonable... There is illegal that affects safety and there are little tricks that do not.

 

as far as the CB goes, I have been lucky, haven't run into jerks or had to listen to any ignorant rants. Just helpful information and polite truckers. Friendly and helpful truckers seems to have been by far and away the majority I have met on the road which has been a pleasant surprise. Maybe I have just been lucky.

One thing I do, turn the CB off pulling into a truckstop, and turn it on as soon as I leave. Not because I don't wanna hear from anyone, but just because when I shutdown, I wanna get as far from the job mentally as possible.

 

Daytona I am so sorry to hear how things are going. I want to say that I understand your anger, but I am not out there on the road yet. I do understand though about how people talk the trash and need to find their way, but sadly most will not.

You have always seemed so positive and upbeat that it saddens me to hear you talk this way. I have so much hope and dreams that this type of post really scares me. I am wondering if I am getting into something that I will regret or not. I also wonder if it is mainly solo drivers out there that are so misreable. There is no way that I could make it out there by myself. I would be way too lonely. I really do feel for you. My husband and I look at like this, we will be together and on the road making some money and can tough it out our first year. I just hope that is true. We don't have any rent or really much of any bills, just a car payment, insurance, and my student loans which in all adds up to $700 month. That is it execpt for food and such.

Sorry, I don't want to highjack your thread and start talking about myself. I just want you to know that I do feel your pain and I worry about the exact topics you are talking about. I hope you get through this and make it. You are one of the good guys that we are all rooting for! I would love to say that it will get better and it might, but then again I have a feeling that this is the life of a trucker.

Take care, we are thinking about you!

 

Honestly, sassy, if you're with your husband, I don't know that you are going to have a miserable time out there, regardless of what happens. I mean, the worst thing I can see happening is if you 2 can't get along being in that close a quarters all the time! SOMETHING got you and yours intrigued by the trucking lifestyle, my opinion - stick it out and find out for yourself whether you like it or not. Trucking isn't for everyone, though I also think Daytona will find his way through all of this as well.