I need some advice... recent CDL grad

OK, so here's my problem...

I've been out of work for a while so I decided to get my CDL to try and get back on my feet. I have a degree but the job market is absolutely dismal where I live (as I am sure it is in many places). The commercial truck driving school I went to provided me with about 18 hours of actual road time over 5 weeks (they recorded it as 20) and I failed the state test twice on the backing portion- I can straight back alright but my angle backing plain sucks. I passed the state test on the third try by jack-knifing and pulling forward, a technique that probably isn't the best for obvious reasons. I think I can correct it but I am lacking the knowledge to do so on my own and while different people have told me different things it just really hasn't clicked yet- I'm starting to get the part where the cab pushes the trailer but I'm having a hard time judging my corrections while at an angle. My shifting could be better but the feedback I received is it could also be worse. I've tried to gain employment with two companies that have a solid reputation (Schneider and Roehl) and got rejected by both after about 5 days of orientation. I left on good terms but both companies felt I needed a lot of work on basic skills- more than they were willing to provide in the alloted time. Feedback I received included mirror usage (clipped two curbs in an urban area- we made about 20 turns), driving too slow (I'm a bit nervous still around cities), downshifting needs work and I need to learn how to couple (considering it was the first time I did it, I felt I did OK). I thought about trying Swift since they have a longer program but in reality after talking to some drivers and reading a lot of negative reviews there seems to be a lot of 'red flags' concerning them which makes me think such a move would be unwise- last thing I need to do is get a crappy trainer or be put in an unsafe situation where I back into something or someone gets hurt. Without getting into specifics- People with a temper don't help things either, the more relaxed trainers I've worked with so far I've learned the most from and the louder, more aggressive ones tend to cause me to freeze up and screw up- I still need work on skills and I don't have the money to put toward more schooling (I would say I have about 25 hours of actual driving under my belt now).

The question is this something you want to do keeps popping up and with the little experience I have I really can't answer it. I could see where driving a truck is a decent living and a lot more liberating than an office- but I also see where it is a lot more dangerous and while fear can be a good thing, I think fear is part of my problem- and a lot of that at this point has to do with the size of the vehicle, backing and cornering and the creeping realization of just how much time OTR drivers are on the road (I think I can do this for a year). I realize this job isn't for everybody, but I think if I had a company willing to work with me a bit I might do OK (Schneider seemed to think so). I just don't know where to go or what to do so I'm looking to the internet for an answer. No one I know that well drives a truck for a living so they really don't understand the risk- it's not a simple job where if you screw up all is still well. My options at this point are to find a company that will train me decently or give up... the later option isn't desirable but I don't want to risk hurting someone either. Any advice or helpful criticism is appreciated. Thanks.

 

Thanks China, I just got my new passport and am waiting on my HAZMAT approval (its been about four weeks). I know a TWIC card would help but I'm low on funds right now- really low. I'm in the Chicago area so there are a decent number of opportunities (especially in Gary which is somewhat close)- its more or less making the right move at this point.