Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Oh, Snazz... don't talk about sleep right now. I was up later than usual last night and this morning I'm having trouble keeping the peepers open. Plus, it's cold outside and my afghan was so toasty...

Oh... by the way... I clicked. All I'm asking is an autographed first copy edition of "Life Goes On" with your picture on the back jacket. And Snazzy points. I'll pass on Petey, though. I already have an old goat in my life. And one is enough!

 

Wow--a student in a coma--thats what we all need ! LOL God knows i dont need to take nothin to help me sleep--i am crazy enough without it. I remember one time I was in Kentucky. I had driven all nite so it pulled in the TA to shower, eat, sleep for the day--Well my delivery time was at 8 am in Tennessee. So, i go to sleep and then suddenly i wake up out of a dead sleep. I look outside and its barely daylight/barely dark at the same time--so im thinking i overslept. I jump up get ready and start rolling down the road. I get bout 50 miles down I-75 and its gettin darker--so im thinking a storm is brewin so i need to get down the highway and i travel on. Anyways--a few more miles down the road i realize its 9 pm of the same day i was sleeping on instead of 9 am when i thought i was late. LOL

Anyways--lesson taught to not jump out of a sleep and start driving--it was funny--even sent dispatcher a late message--of course i wasnt even close to bein late--my brain was just too early that nite! LOL

Anyway--not tryin to take up snazzy's storytelling -- keep em goin snazzy--your my hero!!!

 

Alright Ducks, but I'm not going to tell Petey that, he's awfully sensitive. Yep, Lady Trucker when your running 24/7 it's hard to keep track of time, as Life Goes On.

I really didn't sleep all that well, as Shane ate up the highway. Yep, that boy only knew two speeds, fast and faster. Anyway, after about a four hour nap I propped myself up in the copilots seat and poured myself a hot one. Shane was jamming to the tunes and letting her rip.

I took a sip, " So, Shane how's it going ? "

Shane turned down the volume, " We're doing good ! California is just ahead and I got us through those mountains. "

I lit up, " Well, Shane there's a couple of more hills coming up and it's getting dark. That's why I wanted you to drive the first shift. Tell you what, I'll sit up here and see how you do. Now, remember we're pretty heavy and those grades are pretty steep. Make sure you get a slow start and keep in her in a lower gear. Now, that Jake brake comes in handy. I've had to drive without a Jake and....Shane ? Shane ? "

Yep, I knew that one day my stories would bore a man to death. Geez ! I grabbed the wheel and elbowed Shane back, as I pulled on the seat lever. The seat slid back enough for me to plop down. Yep, there I was trucking down the big road and using Shane as a seat cushion. There was turn in just ahead, so I swung in and pulled her yellow knob. I stood and put my coffee soaked hands on Shane's neck. No, I wasn't choking him ! I was checking for a pulse. Anyway, Shane opens his eyes and clutches the wheel. Yep, just like he was still trucking along. I sat down, side cushioned in the passenger seat.

I wiped beads of sweat off of my forehead, " #### Shane ! What's wrong with you ? "

Shane had a dazed look, " We're doing good, were good, California..."

I lightly slapped Shane across his face, " Snap out of it ! SHANE ! Wake up and look at me ! "

Shane snapped awake, " Oh man ! Not again ? "

I wanted some answers, " Now Shane ! Don't BS me ! What are you on ? "

Shane rolled down his window, " It was stuffy in here, that's all. I'm alright, just give me a minute. "

I didn't buy it, " Shane your not alright ! You #### near got us killed ! Man, if I hadn't been sitting here ! You were out cold and slumped over the wheel. Now fess up and tell me the truth ! "

Shane lit up, " I'm ok to drive ! I passed my DOT physical and I don't use drugs anymore ! "

I'd heard enough, " Well, just get your butt out of there ! I'm driving us the rest of the way and Shane this isn't going to work. I can't let you drive like this, it isn't safe ! "

Shane crawled back to the sleeper like a whipped puppy. I took the wheel and headed down the hill. Yep, my mind was filled with what ifs and could of beens. I mean, that was close ! I decided to get that load delivered and contact Mother Ed. Yep, he'd sure been sold a bill of goods. Ole Shane wasn't going to make a driver. No sir ! That boy had some real serious problems and was going to get someone killed. Yep, I guess it could of been worse, much worse, much much worse ! Now, I wasn't at mad Shane. You know, I was positive that he meant well. But hey ! This wasn't a game and lives were at risk. Yep, Snazzers it was my duty to end Shane's diving career. Yep, I didn't like doing that, but there weren't any other options. You know what I mean, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Too bad about Shane. Maybe you can get Vic back.

 

Yep Big Duker neither one of them were worth fooling with, as Life Goes On.

Ring, ring, ring, " This is Ed ! "

I spoke slowly, " Ed it's Barney and we have a problem. That kid Shane has something wrong with him. I need a load back to Dallas and get him off the truck. Ed ? "

Ed was Ed, " I can't get you back here on that short of a notice ! Let's see, truck number 2621, you just delivered, and have a load waiting. Your still at the truckstop and are 23 miles from your pickup. "

I spoke slower, " Ed ! This kid Shane has some sort of sleeping disorder. He dozes off behind the wheel and I can't let him drive. I've only had four hours of sleep since we left the terminal. I can't go on ! "

Ed understood, " Look, just pickup up that load and go back to the truckstop. I'll get another team to repower it, so call me back. "

So, I went and picked up the load while Shane snored his life away in the sleeper. What a deal ! Anyway, I got her done and even managed to catch a catnap at the shippers. Of course I had to make use of the top bunk and let Rip Van Shane keep the bottom. I called Ed back and he told me, that I needed to head East. Yep, that load was New York bound, but if I'd route myself through St Louis. Well, the other team would be waiting on me. So, I bought it hook, line, and sinker. Yep, ole Super Trucker Barney didn't need any sleep. So, with a little creative writing, Shane's logbook showed he was a driving fool. Yep, that boy had a really put down some miles, from back in that sleeper. Anyway I knew, that I could run hard and long, with just a few hours rest. Yep, the old Barney was being put to the test. So, I drove and drove, and I drove. Over hills, dales, cotton tales, around loops, hoops, fruity toots, and right under the big Golden Arches. Well, Ed claimed that the other truck had broken down. Yep, but another truck was scheduled to meet me up the road. So, I pressed on through rain, sleet, snow, ice, and all. Yep, a blizzard of doom and destruction (de-truck-son) had covered all of the Northeast. What a deal !

Well, after driving for about 66 hours, with only a couple of catnaps thrown in, I finally made it. Yep, that warehouse in Bumlost, NY had five feet of white powder covering everything. I tried to sashay, but it was more of a stagger, as tromped my way in. The warehouseman treated me like a fly in his soup. Yep, the only way he could unload me, was if I squeezed through the alley, hung a left, turned right, made a u-turn, backed up, turned around, and clicked my heels. So, I tromped back and gave it a shot. Now, young Shane had come alive. Yep, he was all eager to help me out. So, I let him guide me back. Ever so slowly, I tipped toed that huge Beast backwards, as toothpicks held my eyelids open. All I could see was young Shane's arms sticking out from the mounds of whiteness. What a deal ! Anyway, I managed to hit the bunk and was passed out cold. Yep, I was beat and just couldn't take it anymore. Young Shane helped with the unloading and even got the paperwork signed. Anyway, I felt the truck move and jumped up. Yep, young Shane was on the move, but not for long. Yep, I stopped him before he got us as far as the exit.

I tried to sound civil, " Shane I appreciate you helping back there, but I still can't let you drive. Especially in this blizzard. Now, I'll tell you what, if Ed doesn't dispatch us back to Dallas on this next load. Well, I won't have a choice. I mean, you have tell me the truth. What is your problem ? "

Shane came clean, " I have narcolepsy and I was born that way. It's at it's worse when I'm under stress. I can go weeks and sometimes months without a problem. Then there's times, like here lately. I'm doing alright now and I know when I'm going to have a bout with it. "

I lit up, " Well, I'm glad that you told me. Is there a cure or how do you treat it ? "

Shane was honest, " There's not a cure and doctors told me that I might out grow it. It's not near as bad now, but back when I was in school.."

Shane nodded off and I gently tucked him in. I pushed in the yellow knob and started for the exit. I heard a noise and thought that maybe Shane had forgotten to shut the trailer doors. I pulled the knob and knee deeped it back to check. Nope, the doors were shut, but something new had been added. Yep, a white Comaro was attached to the DOT bar. That's like a big metal doohickey that is like a bumper on a car. Yep, Shane had done hooked us a fancy one. I stood in disbelief and admired Shane's handy work. Well, being the honest ole Barney that I was. I went back into the warehouse and spilled my guts. Of course this wasn't just any old car. It belonged to the business owners son. What a deal, as Life goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Dang, Snazzy. Now I feel guilty complaining about getting only five hours of sleep the other night...

All I gotta say, Snazz, is that you gotta be one special man. How that kid ever passed his DOT physical with narcolepsy is beyond me (well, not really -- he probably lied like a rug)... and then for you to have the sweet luck to have him land in your truck? Yep, you gotta be special.

What's that saying? "If it weren't for bad luck, you'd have no luck at all..."

 

Ah, gees... go ahead. Send him over. I don't want hurt his tender feelings. Maybe they can keep each other company.

 

Aww poor snazzy--he has the worst luck! Hang in there snazzy--your luck will turn around! I so feel bad for you! That would be a bad feeling. Good luck snazzy--as Life goes on!

You are doin an awesome job though--wish i had a trainer like you when i started out. Of course, i had a good one but i am bettin your story's are way better than his were! Good luck and hopefully he wont fall asleep while goin down some steep grades.

Be safe out there Snazzy!

 

Hey Snazz, maybe a book is a bit of a reach, but why not your own blog? I bet that one of the Mod Cats from here would help you set it up, with a link to here of course. You are hilarious and a really good writer. I suppose you'd need a word in the name of the blog to attract folks looking for information about the trucking industry, but the byline could be 'As Life Goes On', or whatever you want. Why not give it a shot?

Oh yeah, remember: There's No Place Like Home... There's No Place Like Home... There's No Place Like... <yes, I love that movie>

 

Ducks, I have this mental picture of two old goats sitting at your breakfast table. Yep, Petey sipping coffee and cutting it up with your old goat. What a deal ! Let's see what happens Lady Trucker, as Life Goes On.

The business owner was really lathered up about his son's car being dragged clear across that parking lot. Yep, he cussed his son for a good half of an hour. You see, he'd warned that boy about parking too close to that loading dock. Anyway, the police were called, but back then all that was required were for the parties to exchange insurance information. That was due to it having occurred on private property. Now, I could have blamed it all on Shane and swore it was all his fault. Well not really. You see, I was the captain of that ship and it had been my decision to drive into that blizzard. I knew better and I'm sure that if I'd had more sleep, I'd used better judgment. Besides that, I was the trainer and as President Bush put it, 'The Decider'. What a deal ! Now the bad news was, that those crooked outfits required all of their drivers to sign an employment agreement. Yep, it was like a contract, but it was all in the companies favor. If you refused to sign it, they'd refuse to hire you. Yep, they'd stuff that contract in with the folder full of forms you filled out during orientation. Yep, it was slick and you didn't even get a copy of it. So, I ended up having $500 deducted from my settlement pay. Yep, for a preventable accident, even though I hadn't even been cited. What a deal !

Of course we learn from our mistakes, so always read everything you sign and demand a copy of it. Anyway, luckily the damage was minimal and all cosmetic. You know, a few scrapes and scratches, that cost about $800 to repair the car and the trailer was unhurt. In a way, I believe that accident helped me to become a better driver. I kept a piece of that red plastic tail light and attached it to my key chain. Yep, every time I look at it, I'm reminded that safety comes first. Of course, it also brings back memories of days past and sharing the road with students like Shane. Anyway, I drove to our next live load and sure enough, it wasn't headed to Dallas. Nope, we had a load going back to La LA Land, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzrs, your Snazzy1.