Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

CU M ON BARNEY-LET'S ALL GET SWEATY TOGETHER!!!!!
PUSH PUSH WORK THAT TUSH!!!

 

Yep Big Duker, that's Prissy Britches alright and that sure is worth some Snazzy points, as Life Goes On.

Now boys, will be boys and it didn't surprise me any. Yep, some dirty dingus done slipped a surprise into Ole Prissy Britches' car. Yep, as G.M. he was given a choice of driving his own vehicle, or having the company furnish one. Well, he decided to purchase his own and it was a hung dinger, err...., hum dinger. Yep, he went down and bought him one of them pink Karry May's Cadillac's. What a deal ! Now I've got to admit, that it did standout from the crowd. Yep, it was the brightest, pinkest, prettiest, posh, plush, piece of platter puss, primping, pile of crap, that I ever saw. It had one of them fake carriage tops. You know, it looked like a convertible, but it wasn't. Yep, the new window sticker was still displaying, how much that dogie was in the window.

Dan filled me in, " From up here we can see the whole thing. This is going to be good ! "

I peeked over the edge, " Man ! We're higher up than I thought ! Are you sure, that no one can see us up here and snitch on us ? "

Dan was sure, " Nobody is going notice ! I come up here all the time, because we have to change those filters up here. So if anyone ask, I'll just say, that's what we were doing. "

I pointed, " Those are the vent filters ? I always wondered why the shop didn't fill up with exhaust fumes. I guess, those big fans suck them out here ? "

Dan educated me, " Yeah ! They draw them out here and those filters keep the heavy gases from escaping. That's why I have to change them every once in awhile. Oh ! Is that him ? "

I chinned the edge, " No ! That's what's his name, who works in dispatch. #### ! This gravel roof is playing hell on my knees. I hope that he comes out pretty soon. "

Dan snickered, " Get this ! He didn't even lock her up. All they had to do was open the door and that was it. "

I snickered back, " So, what all did they do ? But, don't tell me, who they are ! I don't want to know, so if they get caught. Well, they can't blame me, because .."

Dan bragged, " All of my men are professionals and won't get caught ! But, if they did ! Well, wild horses couldn't drag it out of them ! "

I was honest, " Usually it's not the wild horses that get folks caught, it's the Wild Turkey on rocks that does ! "

Dan chuckled, " Your probably right. Oh, check this out. "

I palmed them, " What are these ? They look like Allen screws. "

Dan took them back, " They are and that's what goes to the doorhandles. Yep, they thought of it all ! See, when Prissy shuts his door, he's trapped inside and it's all over. Yep, they unplugged the fuse, to the power windows and he'll yank on them handles. Hee, hee, hee, ha, .. "

I chuckled along, " Snicker, snicker, snicker .. This is going to be good ! We should of video taped it ! I bet, he faints and craps himself ! I can see it now ! "

Dan pointed, " There he is ! Look ! He's getting in and there goes the door ! Oh man, I can't wait ! "

I took over the commentating, " He's started her up and he's looking back. Wait a minute ! I thought ya'll had it fixed to where it wouldn't .. "

Dan agreed, " I thought so too ! Gees ! He's headed for the exit and ... "

I jumped up, " We better stop him ! He might wreck out and kill somebody ! "

So Dan and I, hot footed over to the metal steps and down we went. I ran over and cranked up my company car, as Dan jumped in. Yep, the chase was on, as gravel flew. I hung a right on two wheels, as Dan held on for his life. We hit warp speed on the Interstate and were flying low. The traffic was thick and I couldn't catch up. Yep, Prissy Britches was on his own.

Dan had an idea, " How about we just call him on his cell phone and tell him ... "

I nixed the idea, " Tell him what ! Hey dude, there's.. "

Dan interrupted , " NO ! We don't have to tell him that ! Tell him, he needs to come back to the office. You know, he doesn't have to know why. You can just say ... "

I gave the look, " I CAN SAY ? Hell NO ! This is your doings and I'm staying out of it ! Man ! This isn't good and he might ..."

Dan chuckled, " Well, look on the bright side ! If he loses control and kills himself, at least we're off the hook. They'll just figure it got in there on it's own. "

I swung into the parking lot, " I need a drink ! You got your membership card with you ? "

So Dan did and I had mine. Yep, we bellied up to the bar and ordered a couple stiff ones. Now, to be honest about it, I really was concerned. You know, there Ole Prissy Britches was, driving around in five o'clock, Dallas traffic and didn't have a clue. Yep, there was no telling where his hitchhiking friend was at. Maybe, on the back floorboard, or under the seat. Of course, he might be napping, or even reading the sports page. Well, that's if he could read and I kind of doubted that. Yep, Dan and I tried to come up with every possibility. What a Deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I was tempted to call Prissy Britches. You know, to see if he had made it home safely. But, it was one of them situations where you want to know, but then again. Yep, last call was given, so I sashayed staggered out of the bar and managed to drive myself back to the motel. Dan's wife had called, so Ole Henpecked Dan had left me at the club and taken a cab home. I couldn't sleep and sat starring at the phone. My mind raced with thoughts of guts and gore. Yep, it had me convinced that Prissy was a goner. I finally dozed off and my alarm clock radio awoke me to the tune of, ' You Were Always On My Mind '. I did my morning constitution and showered off the booze odors. Yep, I wasn't in the best of shape. My eyes were bloodshot, I felt weak kneed and my head was pounding. What a deal ! I drove over and parked in my reserved spot, ' Operations Manager '. Yep, it was over by the classroom and a good ways from the TLX truck terminal. You know, I still wanted to know if Prissy was still alive, but on the other hand. Anyway, the office phone rang and it was Dan on the other end. So, I poured me a hot one and drove over to meet him. He was pacing in front of the shop and looked like hell.

I sashayed over, " Hey Dan ! What's the word ? "

Dan wiped his brow, " He hasn't shown up and nobody has heard from him. I'm worried Barney ! He's always here by now and ..."

I lit up, " Oh, he's probably on is way and I wouldn't get too concerned. I'm sure if something had happened we'd heard about it by now. Oh, wait ! That's him pulling in and see he's just fine ! I told you that .."

Dan breathed a sigh of relief, " Oh man ! I'm glad that he's alright. I just knew that he was dead, or ..."

I interrupted, " What's he doing ? He's just sitting there and it looks like he's ..."

Dan pointed, " Somethings wrong ! He's not getting out and look how he's parked. "

I looked, " Let's go over there, but remember we have act normal ! Don't let him think that ... Ut Oh ! That's not what I think it is ? Is it ? "

So, Dan ran inside the shop and left me there to deal with it. Now, I'd never dealt with one and wasn't sure what to do. I mean, by watching National Geographic on t.v. I'd seen folks that had. Yep, all I needed to do was to grab it by it's neck and uncoil it. You know, like they do on. Well, you know ! So, I swung open the car door and faced my first setback. Yep, that thing was wrapped around Prissy like a garden hose on a reel and I couldn't find the end. You know, how that is ! Yep, sometimes you have to turn on the faucet and see where the water comes out. Well, you guessed it. Yep, a Python doesn't have one, so I went to plan B. You know, I grabbed Prissy by his neck and drug him out onto parking lot. Yep, I was cooking with gas then. There Ole Prissy was all sprawled out and rolled up tighter than Nun's pocket book. I grabbed him by his ankles. No ! Not the python's ankles ! They don't have ankles and you know that ! Now, I figured by dragging him across it, the python would get the hint. You know, release his grip and quit squeezing the life out of what's his name. Oh no ! That python didn't give an inch and I swear driver, I could hear ribs breaking.

Anyway, Dan came charging up and cut loose with his fire extinguisher. Yep, that sure helped alot, as white powder covered everything and made a mess. It kind of looked like a guy with a snake wrapped around him and covered with white icing. Well finally, someone with some sense showed up and saved the day. Yep, all he did was set the cage down and coax Ole Pete the python over into it.

I helped Prissy up, " Are you okay ? Did he bite you ? "

Prissy hugged my neck, " Ya'll saved my life ! I think, that I'm alright, but my ribs are sore. No ! I don't think, that he bit me. Can you check the back of my legs ? "

I pushed him back, " Your alright and will be just fine. Hey Dan ! How does his legs look ? "

Dan stomped away, " Screw you ! "

So, Prissy wiggled inside the terminal, after sharing his near death experience with anyone who would listen. Yep, according to her, eer .. him. He had driven home the day before and for some reason the door handle had come off in his hand. So, he had to use his hair brush to pry open the door. Well, he claimed that he wedged it where the handle had been and .. Well, you know. Anyway, he also discovered that the fuse to his power windows had come loose. So, he plugged it back in and called it a night. Yep, he never saw Pete the python, until he swung into the parking lot that morning. Yep, I listened to him and acted dumb as dirt. I mean, what else could I have done ? Yep, Pete it ended up, belonged to one of the mechanics. Well, he was more worried about Pete, than anything else. So, after work, all of us except you know who, went to the local watering hole and drank ourselves silly. Now, I did learn from that ! Yep, I'll never try to wrestle a 100 lb python again, if he's wrapped around you know who, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Hey Snazzy, still trying to keep up (more points please!), graduated (well, gradiated!) truck driver training school 101 today, 5/15, happier than...oh hell, I don't know...happy. First day of my second career, am a truck driver now!,ain't no mailman no more!!! Still enjoy my bedtimes stories, carry on~Dolly

 

A Big Snazzy thumbs up to Dollyloma for getting her done and being the proud holder of a CDL. Yep, that's worth 200 Snazzy Points and let's hope the job goes well. Now Snazzers, due to some technical difficulties, I'm won't be able to post tonight. I shall try to return tomorrow and continue on. Please no tears and don't grieve too much. Sometimes, as Life Goes On, things seem to overwhelm us and ... Well you know, what I mean.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

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I ain't cryin' and I ain't grievin'...
but I'm still missin' ya'!

It's just not the same without Snazzy.​

 

Hang in there Ducks. Snazzy is like MacArthur. He shall return. Probably just getting his workout in. Maybe he and Prissy did connect.

 

I guess I'll just have to amuse myself 'til Snazzy returns... *grin*

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Are we going to have to start a "Where is snazzy thead?" I miss my morning story!!

 

My morning ritual has been interupted. I guess I could go and talk to my wife until Snazzy gets back. God I hope he gets back soon!