Keep Ex Wife Out and Child Support Low?

You didn't talk to your wife at the time about going OTR to see if she was ok with that?

 

I totally agree. All child support should be FULLY DOCUMENTED right down to the last penny and kept as a permanent record, subject to audit by the state at any time, without advanced warning. As with tax records, these documentations should be kept for X number of years.

Child support is just that, for CHILD SUPPORT.

 

I am going to.chime in here the op is full o crap if his ex is on aid in ca then the child support goes to the da first his ex gets 50 per child the rest goes to the state to reimburse the tax payers for supporting the children of deadbeat parents .....and hate to break it to 700 don,t even begin to pay for what the state is investing in raising your children

 

Okay I know this thread is old put I have to get in on it, and I read through the entire thing. It pisses me off to see all these truck drives jump in and say pay her off and just take the bs that the system and cs gives you. There are plenty of women who purposely look for guys that go to work everyday or make a decent paycheck to have kids by. they are called gold diggers, aand they hang around locker rooms and back stage at concerts, and if they can't get those guys they settle for a truck driver. I hate lazy women who think their success should come from having a baby buy a "baller". Plenty of people find loop holes in the system, can't we as men find one? As long as the kids get the basic needs what does it matter, maybe if I woman got only enough $$$ to get the job done it would be no extra for her to live off of, these women use the smallest amount of the money on the kids and most of it on themselves and it's plenty of women who stretch money and raise children on far less than what people get with child support so I don't want to hear that crap about a woman needs all that money. If he can find a way to lower his child support and increase his income without cs knowing do it. As long as he still helps out outside of child support do it, these women are using the system to their advantage why can't we out smart the system? I think putting it in a trusted friends name and setting your own rate of pay lower and just getting cash out of a atm with the business account debit card is the best way to do it. Taxes still get paid, child support gets paid off his payroll check even though it's lower but if he still does extra for them outside of cs then great. The system won't help a decent man with kids so screw it we have to find a way around it

 

How did I miss this thread? !
I got to make a few points here. First caring for your children should not be measured in $.
A shining example is how much U.S. spends on education and how mediocre the results are.

Second how unfair is that fathers can't see their kids as often as they want. Where are discrimination laws in action here. This skewed system gotta go.

And to OP: No way you can afford to pay third of your gross. That's usually what you got left after expenses. You would need food stamps yourself. So anyone who says to man up and sacrifice everything and all for some shady character who dumped him at first sign of trouble basically wants OP to commit economic suicide with no obvious benefit.

Last but not the least. People change, cheat, get addicted to drugs, fall in love with other people. Demonstrating good judgement when choosing a partner is always a good thing but why should predominantly the man always become an ATM machine is beyond me. And it's not always about the kids anyways.
Some get millions after divorce is settled and still get paid a cut from the man s paycheck with no children involved.

And how in the world you came to your own house and the police told you to leave. A roomate would get more respect than you got there!

 

I totally agree with what this this guy said, if a woman had to provide receipts and document how the money was spent and prove it was on the child alot less men would gripe about being on it and alot of women wouldn't divorce or get pregnant on purpose if they couldn't live off of it for 18+ years. Sad thing is when I asked a social worker why they won't do it she said it cost extra tax payer money to hire someone to check that stuff. B.S. if they can hire a social worker and judge to handle it why not a person to make sure the money is being spent on the child. It's all supposed to be about the child's well being right?

 

This is an old thread, but the OP will be dealing with these issues for years.

The best parenting advice I can give you is to make positive memories - lots of memories. You have to make them. They don't have to be expensive. (Examples - Go camping, even if it's in the back yard. Don't have camping gear? Borrow it. Don't have a back yard? Ask a friend, relative or neighbor. Go to free cultural events. Teach your kids to cook if/when they are old enough. Go to the library. Join Boy and Girl Scouts.) Take lots of pictures and post them on an online sharing site. If your former in-laws are computer literate, give them view-only access to the account. The in-laws may have bad feelings toward you. That doesn't matter as the situation is temporary. You should expect them to side with their daughter, at least for now, even if she is the devil. That said, always remember they love their grand kids more than life itself and will do anything for them. Absolutely anything. If you ever need help from them, just ask. Seriously. (Not food, clothing or shelter - obviously - those are your responsibility.) They are not your enemy. Need one of the kids picked up from school? Ask grandma. Need one of the kids taken to the doctor when you have to work? Ask. Need a good, simple meatloaf recipe? Ask. Need to borrow camping gear? Ask if they know someone who camps. (From my experience, asking doesn't come easily to most men. It seems unnatural.)
If you do right by the kids, the grandparents will come around to like you again. Even respect you. That day will come.

Next, learn to ignore the idiots in this world. Example from this blog - Those who say "man up" or "be a man" are engaging in manipulative language. They are trying to get you to do something that is against your own interests.

Keep this in mind. You probably have more people in your corner than you think. If the ex has kids wearing shabby old clothes with holes, people notice this, especially other women (her mom, her sister(s) if she has them, her friends). At first they will blame you (because she will say you are a _____) temporarily until they see her in new clothes and/or remember she lost a 100k government job. California prison guards have a very powerful union. Getting fired means she really messed up. Then they will ask themselves what kind of mother puts her own interests (new clothes, new car) ahead of providing for her kids? Answer: a mother they don't respect. Related question they will ask - Why is she not working?


You stated you represented yourself in court. Before you start an o/o business, consult with an attorney specializing in business law. Not a divorce lawyer. Not a personal injury lawyer. A lawyer who knows business law and tax law. If you cannot afford one, contact your state's legal bar association. They may have a free "ask a lawyer" program. They may have free seminars for divorced parents or people starting businesses. They definitely can refer you to a lawyer.
Contact the Small Business Administration. They have a free mentoring program called SCORE: Service Corps of Retired Executives.

Subscribe to Double Yellow's thread detailing his journey from company driver to o/o.

Check out sites for men like A Voice For Men (dot) com.