Questions for married guys

Could also be eaten alive by a predator. Seriously, that happens.

I've never been married. Never will be, either. Too ugly, self involved, egotistical, and arrogant to ever attract a mate. And I thank God, Buddha, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and random fluctuations of fate for that.

Every one of my guy friends has gotten married. And each and every single one of them has been divorced. And, as you say, been raked over the coals in the process. I've seen businesses destroyed, careers smashed, lives and souls destroyed.

I'm also one of the countless children of divorce. Screw that! I'll never put myself through that.

Heck, most truck drivers I know are on their second or third divorce. Far as I can see, getting married is the fastest way to lose half your stuff to someone who actively despises you.

Further, my refusal to indulge in the useless institution of marriage does not mean I will die alone (although I would prefer to do so. some things should be met in privacy). I do have friends, after all. Or at least business acquaintances who are friendly.

And I do say marriage is an outdated institution. Marriage has its roots as a contract for combining resources, be they land and livestock or entire provinces or even nations. It only has a social purpose in providing a chain of custody over property. There is zero biological imperative for marriage. It is useless in the modern age.

You wanna live with someone? Go ahead. Heck, maybe you'll stay with them until one of you croaks. But in the statistically likely event that the two of you should decide to separate at some point in the future, the only property that should be negotiated over should be that which was purchased JOINTLY during the period of cohabitation. And both parties should maintain the ability to support themselves financially without the presence or assistance of the partner.

 

it's not marriage that is the problem, it's who you marry.

I've had 2 great wives , out lived both.

first one married me when I was an office weenie and turned driver. had no problem with it. was married 15 yrs. she died in '95

second one married me and I had a 19 yr old daughter and 16 yr old son. that took guts.lol.

was driving local and knew I hated it. asked me one day if I would like to go back out on the road. she and my son got along ,or she said.

I went and she didn't kill my son,lol. and we were married 20 yr.

I retired a yr early in 2018,(had to wait until I was 65, for medicare insurance), to take care of her after a stroke.worked part time until she ended up in the hospital. she died last Sept.

yes, we all think of those single days and the fun we had. but I liked having a wife around , it was "comfortable". lol

 

if i am not mistaken, in some states, living together for x number of years, is considered "common law marriage".

also, if the other person can provide proof of residence like the mail addressed to him(or her) that pretty much seals the common laws of marriage, meaning there can still be a division of the property, money, etc.

i can't see any real "escape" from losing things either with common law marriage or a marriage with a license.

the other lawyers here can elaborate more, to his/her state's laws..

but, in the end, for some of us, marriage to the right person can be a wonderful thing. marriage to others can be a death knell.....

to each his/her own, is all that i do believe we can all agree upon?

and in the end......you said, "Never will be either"...

which i will add...."never say never"......

 

All some wives need to decide they have been scorned is an angry girlfriend going through a divorce. The angry girlfriend friend keeps telling her married friend "you deserve better" and "I wouldn't put up with that." IMO, if a wife is hanging around with a friend getting ready to divorce or recently divorced she is being contaminated by the divorce virus.

Just because someone is outraged doesn't necessarily mean something outrageous happened. It is quite possible they decided the rest of the world is not supporting her dream to become a PRINCESS sufficiently.

 

Easy solution....separate homes! Keep your own cave, she gets her own cave, y'all meet at pre-arranged times for pre-determined activities.

 

WHOA.

Thats amazing to me how someone can do that.

I uncovered one situation where a particular line left Kurfust after Napoleon laid waste to all farms in that state in about 1805 wars vs Russia. Two generations after that couple arrived in America their children grew up to where one was about 50 on the US census married to his wife at 35. Now I'll have to do some digging but I can only imagine 1850's baltimore frowning on such behavior in those days. They had 6 children, 2 died very early.

 

Thats not your problem. Thats her problem. All this back and forth with you trying to make a decision, feel for you and your future. You have to think about yourself and what you want. She is not what you want long term becuase you are not sure at all. You are looking for reassurance from others and you gonna wind up unhappy as hell feeling there is more out there for you. So yeah, you will ultimately get divorced or possibly stay married and miserable. Good luck fella

 

I've never died before, so I wouldn't know. With all the money I'll save by being single, I can hire a nurse. Marriage and kids isn't for everyone.

The children will be adults one day, circling like vultures to get your house and life insurance.

 

Buy both halves of a duplex.