Anyone else feel like throwing up?

Thank you!! Reading your post made me think of what my dad must of been feeling and going through back then. So I just got back from breakfast with him, and we had a great time talking.
Another thing I forgot to tell you. My dad use to always leave me one of his old hats, or some small thing of his. I use to love those old green hats, and I remember him giving me his old key chain with one of those little can openers, man I thought that was the coolest, and I remember helping mom by opening up cans with it. Took me forever lol, but it was fun. I loved getting his old bomber jackets!
you can do the same thing, start a tradition, like when your home going and getting a new hat or key chain, something small that you use on the road and give them your old one. Also, make this a great learning opportunity for your kids, where ever my dad was stationed, Africa or Ohio, mom and I would learn all about it, like what the state capital was, the state flower, we would find it on the map or globe, things like that, it was a lot of fun.
So, if you know you will be in GA the next time you call them, have them find out something about GA to tell you when you call. I use to love to hear about the animals my dad saw, I remember being excited because my dad saw a kangaroo.
I even did a report on kangaroos for school because of it. (so if any of you have any questions about kangaroos just ask LOL)
You're opening up a whole new world for you and your family. there will be some neat things that only this experience will provide.

take care
Bren

 

A lot of excellent ideas for staying connected, I agree. But if you have young child(ren) and a spouse who wants you to be around more, you may want to check into a local or short-haul job until the kid(s) are older. If you are out 2-3 weeks at a time, it is just not worth it, IMHO.
You may be able to work opposite shifts w/ spouse, even have one of you go to school while working, and you will still see the family more often.
I've been on and off the road, "single parent", etc., so I speak from experience. A 2-3 year old changes and grows up every day, and 12, 15, 18 years go by in a flash. You never get it back.
I think it is important to remember that we must live with the decisions that we have made. Just my 2 cents.

 

I don't have a wife or kids but a good cell phone plan and webcam cant hurt at all. Maybe send them a post card from places you are and write things in them to let them know your missing them. take care

 

Gee, don't I know THAT'S true!!
But oftentimes, economics play the biggest part of your life...stay at home,making no money(because some places just do not have work), and get to experience first hand all those changes and firsts?
Or work to put food in their little tummies, beds for them to sleep in, clothes on their backs, and a roof over their heads, and have to experience all of their growing and changing via videos, cell phones, and web cams?

Either way, very tough choices.

Judi Kay

 

I really feel for you. I thought Stace and I were prepared for the separation when I headed out all those years ago, but nothing can really prepare you for it.

I think the biggest piece of advice that I can give is to call home just to chat about nothing. After a while we realized that we were using our nightly phone calls to catch up on the important things that needed to be discussed and to tell the big stories of what had happened during our day. This was fine as far as it went, but because we had always spent a lot of time talking about unimportant things or laughing together over stupid stuff on the tv or whatever, our relationship started to change without that casual conversation.

When we realized what had changed we made a point to both watch the same tv shows or read the same books and called often just to shoot the breeze together. Oh sure, those calls involved a lot of "nothing... what are you doing now?" and whatnot, but suddenly we were feeling closer again.

There's a reason you got married in the first place and part of that was probably simply because you enjoyed spending time in each others' company. Try not to give that up just because you're on the road.

 

Just for fun leave little notes for your family to find while your away, IN drawers,med cabinet,u get the idea.

 

That is a terrific idea - Under the pillow, whatever. How about leaving an envelope (w/ a note, picture, or computer-made card) for each day you are gone? Either put them in a pile or call each day to tell them where to look for the envelope.

Also - "Skype" allows you to see and talk with your family by computer, just like they told us about in grade school

 

I dont want to ruin this little love fest but let me tell you about my experiences with trucking and my family.
I have 4 kids, I wasnt driving when the first 2 were born. I learned quickly that I was going nowhere at the factory job so I went to truckdriving school and hit the road a few months after my 3rd kid was born. I have never told anyone this before but even though I was home every weekend back then, I would get in the truck Sunday nite in tears every single time! It was one of the hardest times of my life. I felt like I was abandoning my family to chase the Almighty Dollar! I almost didnt make it home for the birth of my last kid, but I did. Unfortunatly, due to this crappy industry, I have ZERO memories of my last 2 kids growing up! I allowed this job to take away from me the last 15 years of my life with my family! If there was a way, I would give up all the money I made to get that time back!
And now it's happening again, my 2nd grand-daughter was born on the 17th and I probably wont get to see her till the 30th!
My advice is to get the hell out of this business before you lose your soul! These companies will take everything you give them and then berate, conive, and cajole you into giving them more, all the while, they will lie to you, cheat you out of money and demand ever more. And when you are all used up, they will toss you away like an empty pop can, (not the analogy I was originaly going to use, but I decided to keep it somewhat clean).
GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!! I am screwed, I am not qualified to do anything else, and TOO OLD to start over. Dont become me in the next 15 years!

 

Dave,

I can't say that I feel your pain because I don't. I know nothing about your life, family, etc. other than what you have posted.

I am about to leave (maybe postpone but right now, I have no intention to return) a career as a CPA (15 years worth that I have pretty much hated the whole time) to climb into the cab of a truck (something I have always wanted to do).

Based on my market value as a CPA with my background and what I will earn as a driver, the two are financially, no comparison. However, I am 49 years old and I am bound and determined that will not live out the next 15 years the way I have lived the past. I have two children (20 and currently serving a mission in the Philippines and 16, junior in high school who thinks it's totally cool that I will be driving a semi) and a wife of 23 years who are totally supportive of what I am doing.

Granted, I have pretty much been there for them (with the exception of January through April 15 and September through October 15 each year).

They will be directly affected by the change in standard of living but are willing to make the sacrifice for me to lower my stress level. I may be able to live out my life without risking premature death from heart attack, etc.

Granted, I do have a skillset that I plan to maintain and upon which I can fall back on should that need arise. In fact, I think a couple of years behind the wheel will position me to either own a small fleet (in the event of a recovered economy...if that ever happens with PRESBO) or to work for a trucking company in the corporate office. but I digress....this ain't about me...it's about you.

Back to your point/feelings. It is easy for me to say that you shouldn't beat yourself up. Your family (hopefully) knows the sacrifices that you have made and continue to make whether they admit it now or not. They certainly will one day. The lessons you are passing on to your family will long outlive your days here.

I am of the belief that you are fulfilling your "God-given responsibility" to provide the best you can for your family and you should be grateful that you have the ability to do that. They are or certainly should be. Think about the millions who couldn't care less about their families or their welfare.

Think about the times, when they are old enough, that you will take those grandchildren on short trips with you. I can bet you that they will long remember those times more than what you handed them as a birthday present. Oh, and remember, without you and others like you, the birthday present wouldn't have even made it to the store.

I can remember, like it was yesterday, the weekend trip I took with my uncle (a life long trucker) when I was probably 13-14 years old ('73-'74 timeframe). If the truth were known, that is when I was bitten by the bug to do this. It just took me 35 years to get here.

And finally, my father was a mill worker who worked a rotating shift. (7 days of 11-7, 2 days off, 7 days of 3-11, 1 day off, 7 days of 7-3 with 5 days off). We probably didn't see him much more than your kids saw/see you. However, we know that he did that to provide our shelter, food, clothes, etc.

It sounds like you may live pretty close to your kids/grandkids. But you know, with technology being what it is, there is no reason why your kids/grandkids can't call, speak to you anytime or even see you via a webcam, etc. and all the cool places you are seeing. Maybe they are studying a state or the nation's capital and you send them shots you took while driving through. If you are not well-versed in technology, step out of your comfort zone and learn it. I know it's not the same as wrapping your arms around a loved one but I think it would provide a nice bridge until you get home. You'll have a blast learning this new stuff (assuming you don't already know it) but don't venture into the filth that exists out there in the cyber world and lose your focus of why you are doing it.

Also, if you are going by somewhere worthy of a couple of day layover, have your family meet you there. Spend a couple of days, uninterrupted with them. Not saying that you do, but I'd bet that most people who take hometime spend it watching TV or fishing or engaged in other mindless activities while being alone and don't spend nearly the time they think they would with their respective families. Once you are accustomed to being alone and making all decisions, it can be tough to come back into an environment where compromise is necessary.

Well, that is my nickel's worth. Keep your chin up and make some changes and I think you'll see that you can have the best of both worlds.