Broke Down 69...The Adventure Continues

Losing my dad was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I hope you can find some comfort in these words from some dude on the internet that's been through exactly what you are going through. Time does make it easier. The sharpness of the loss turns into more of a dull ache. And you will get better at dealing with it.

 

Don't underestimate the need to grief for what happend.
Work is the easy way out but i doubt if it is the best way.(that is my opinion)

But you and only you can decide the best way to handle this.

 

I was basically raised by my grandparents, the most difficult part about the death of my grandfather was seeing him in the coffin and watching my dad cry. Watching my dad was worse. I have not been to a funeral since. My great grandmother and both of my grandmothers I have done last memories of. My last memory of my grandfather is in a casket.

 

It gets easier with time but you don't ever forget. It takes effort thinking of all the other good times but time makes that easier.

 

Grief affects us each differently. In the past ten years, we've lost both my parents and my wife's folks, my MIL being the last, about 10 months ago. For some, viewing the deceased in the casket, cleaned up and no longer in pain, provides a sense of closure, which is why it's still done. For others, immediate cremation works better, and is sometimes the wish of the deceased. We did public viewing for my parents, and just a private pre-cremation viewing for the immediate family for my in-laws, as they requested. I'm not sure which is better for the family, but in the case of friends, who weren't involved in the last days, a traditional funeral gives a chance to say good-bye. Each case is different, and I pray that you find the solution that gives you the most peace. In my MIL's case, the funeral home gave us a small vase containing a portionof her ashes and we sprinkled them around her favorite places at the lake when we opened the cabin this spring. It was distant in time enough from the funeral that it was a peaceful thing, and not as sorrowful as it might have been. If you're a man of faith, go read the 14th chapter of John's gospel. It's very comforting.

 

As spook said, everyone handles their grief, in there own way. There is no such thing as a right, or wrong way to grieve.

 

Omigosh... i JUST saw this... so sorry, man. My heartfelt condolences are SO with you. You've come SO FAR in your journey; don't lose the dream. I wish I had more to say, just sure don't have words. I hurt for you like wow. Hugs and prayers from Ohio is all I have. I'm so sorry. Many if not MOST of us on TTR are here for you.

Best as can be to you,
Tom.

 

The 14th is amazing...you are so correct. Spot on. Great post, man.