Climbing Back into the truck, Looking for Info.

Oh Hell NO!! I wouldn't touch Werner, JB SLUT Or CRST. I'd just soon sit home & collect unemployment or worse yet, just go homeless. At least being homeless, I'd get to choose my missery, LOL

 

OMG!!

I can't believe that they allowed this older fellow out on the open road today. Again, while I know I still have some brushing up to do, this poor guy just can't seem to get it together. I mean, he very rarely checks his mirrors, can't seem to do anything unless the instructor tells him to do it...

bring it up to 1800rpm, ..now push in the clutch.... no.. not the break, the other peddle.. now pull it out of gear.. (he begins the washing magine motion with the stick) .. now put it into the the next gear... (He looks at teh instructor with a confused look on his face) OMFG!!! And oh! Forget about the concept of trying to at least keep the truck to the out side area of any turn, that trailer must have magical powers of its own to just some how jump in behind the truck and follow you like a puppy dog.

And down shift? I think this guy's brain is a half stroke of being a complete down shift. His Idea seems to be one of two things:

Take it out of gear and hope & pray that either the instructor or god can intervein fast enough, or lets just let it roll towrards a dirt embankment straight ahead... yeah, that should do the trick.

Needless to say, before we even got around to it being my turn, I was not only kneeling down on the floor in the sleeper doing my best to make any last amends with God, but when I finally stepped out of the truck (after the instructor got it stopped) I not only litterally kissed the ground on my hands & feet, it didn't take me all but 5 minutes to smoke 4 full cigaretts.

"Oh it wasn't that bad, now was it" the instructor stated to me...

No.. "Not at all... I always Kiss the ground after climbing out of a truck. It helps to air out the huge pile of crap that I drop in them ...Only every time I see my Life flash before my eyes"

the poor guy looked at me and seriously asked me if he was that bad, & I told him that between today & the next time he crawls in behind that wheel, he had better get his crap together & actually use that brain farted infected skull of his, or I'd be more than happy to give it a jump start beginnig with my foot entering his back side, in which folks will then be calling me peg as I will break it off at the knee.

As for the 2nd guy, well, he was a bit ruff on the shifting, but I belive that he's been acustome to floating the gears when ever he was driving a dump truck. He's rapidly getting to understand that in a big rig, YOU HAVE TO DOUBLE CLUTCH IN EITHER DIRECTION.

When it came to my turn, granted, it took me a few minutes for it all to fall back into play, but once it did, it was like riding a bike. Hell, we were up shifting & downshifting in a huge parking lot at around 50mph weaving in & out around light polls, and then doing rapid down shifting within 30 minutes of me getting in behind the wheel.

The instructor & I were laughing about what to try next, & would you know it, the old guy in the back clammered to the front & stated that he needed to get out, LIKE NOW!!!. ...I gladly stopped the truck and wouldn't you know it, since the instructor couldn't get the door open fast enough, the poor guy leaned out the widow & HURLD! LMAO (Pay back is a Stinker)

Any way, after he had regaind his compsure, the instructor looked at me and asked if I felt I was ready to take it out on the super slab. (Now we're talking) So, a few sets of up shifts, & down shifts, a stop here, a stop there, and Bamn! We're hauling butt out in the interstate. We finally got to a small country highway (with nice tight turns and a few blind hills with curves). We went through the gammet and when we returned back to the school, all the intructor said was that "how I handeled the truck today, was awesome & that the only thing he saw that I needed to work on was down shifting using the tach, not by the sound of the motor..

SWEET!!

Hopefully tomorrow will be a much better day. Maybe I need to take a couple of zanexes before going. LOL JK

 

Holy Crap!! How time flies when you are scared out of your mind. I must have drank way to many beers or something, cuz the past 2 weeks have been a total blur.

Anyway, lets see what all I can recall.

Well, we finally got back up into the truck & began riding around town, each of us taking our turns at the wheel. The young guy, (curly) seemed to be doing alright until he decides that it's much better to try & float the gears than to actually try & insert them (with out the grinding noise) the correct way. To me, there is no other more nerve racking sound in a semi than the sound of someone "Trying to play Truck Driver" in a big rig. Now, I know there is an old saying; "If you can't find them, grind them", but hey, Now wait a #### minute. If you are traveling at 60mph, a 5% down hill grade, the last thing you want to hear is "ANYTHING" grinding. Mainly because soon after the grinding stops, most likely, so does the motion of the truck, caused by slamming into something.

HOLY CRAP!!! GOD HELP ME!!.

Ok, so now he's managed to get it into gear (with the help of the instructor) all is good. I'm settled back down in my Airline seat that has been installed in the sleeper, with the seat belt pulled so tightly, I think I'm beginning to loose feelings in my feet, but then again, that may be due to the fact that my internal gas pressure has built up so much, I'm beginning to see a green haze.

We are finally down the hill comming up on an exit, HEY, ALRIGHT!! we can now get back down to some slower speeds; (Or so I thought). As we get closer, what to we see? #### construction warning signs stating that the exit has been narrowed down, no shoulder, concreate barriers to the right, and nothing but cones on the left to mark the edge of the pavement. ....But what is this? OH CRAP, Someone just shoot me now!! A sign that says Max safe speed is 20mph with a sharp curve to the right & a sign showing a semi tipping over along with another sign telling truckers to slow down!!??????? Why God? What have I done? You know I can't stand roller coasters, so I don't get on them, & what do you do? You hurl me into one with a driver that hasn't a clue!! Someone get me a rope!!

So here we are, hurling down towards this exit at 55mph, the instructor nearly screaming at curly: "You need to down shift from 9th to 6th, break real hard & get the truck's speed down to at least 15mph" WTF??? this kid has yet to get a grasp of the 300, 500 & 700 rpm concept, much less can't seem to be able to get it onto gear without slamming someone out of their seat as if they were on an ejection seat, & the instructor is expecting this from him? This guy must believe in mirricles.

Ok, we are now on the exit ramp, (Out of gear & curly playing with the RPMs as if he's trying to come up with a new song for his garage band) tapping on the breaks, grinding every gear as in hoping to make a lucky stab of finding the right gear, all the while, the instructor standing up next to him pulling on the trailer breaks. (Oh Great! One idiot playing musicle gears, taping on the breaks as if he was trying to keep a beat, and an insrtuctor who's now in the perfect position to be completely ejected out through the windshield "should curly tap the break on a down beat) leaving us to defend our selves. HUR-Friggin-YaY!!

As we begin our right turn around the steep curve, all one can hear is the instructor yelling "TO TIGHT"!! Let Up!! Steer Right, Now Left, BREAK!! Harder Harder!! Straighten it up!! Now Back to the Right! To the Left..... Ladies and gentlemen, Please place your seats in thier up-right positions & secure your tray tables in fron of you, as you are about to kiss your butt good-by at the hands of an IDIOT!!! All the while one is hearing what is going on on the out side of the truck while being slung from side to side...thump..thump..blam...thump blam..screaching of tires rubbing up against something...more thumping...blam blam blam, screech thump thump thump......and out of no where, the sounds of sirens, yet one can't see anything out of either of the mirrors. am I dead yet?

We finally get to where we can pull off the side of the exit and stop. The instructor is white as a ghost, his pants are soiled from behind at which point he realizes that sitting down "Would Not be a good Idea at this point". He mentions for all of us to step out of the truck & to walk over into the grass, which, after what we just went through, is definately a great Idea, except I'm still having trouble of not only trying to get my hands unglued from the arm rests, but the #### buckle is now wanting to play games with my fingers.

By the time I get out, (Knees as limp as a wet dish rag with a serious bout of a Michale Jackson's wobbling knee motion), I finally make it over to the trees, where all I can do is just plop down to the ground.....Looking back in the directing of which we just came, The picture begins to unfold....

What use to be traffic cones... Forget it! this guy managed to hit, fold & toss every #### one of them & toss them out into the grass a good 40 ft. The concreate barriors bare the battle scars of our tires half way up their walls, and to add to that, we now have a DOT car with it's lights flashing, right up behind the trailer. ( I bet he liked that show)

Now I do not know as to what was said between the instructor & Mr DOT, but when they parted ways, both were laughing. However, it wasn't until the instructor started walking back towards us, that we all started laughing as he kind of found himself walking like John Wayne who had just gotten off of his horse, LOL!! When he got back to us, I could not help but to ask him if he's like to borrow my spare shorts, or shall I grab him a roll of TP LMAO, to which he just looked at me & said.."NOT ONE WORD" .

After he came back from the woods (with my spare shorts on) we all got back up into the truck & the instructor drove us all back to the school. We had a short lecture on as to what had happened, and how we were to take that & learn from it. He looked at me & said :"Don't even go there", and all I could do was laugh my butt off. And as one would have it, one could hear the other instructors laughing outside the classroom. So of course, his co-workers began nick naming him "Stinky" LOL

When we went back out, He put Moe behind the wheel, (the one who almost ran us into an embankment) and we began driving around some of the more unpopulated streets. While this was nerve racking enough, I managed to keep my cool and it turned out ok. Eventually, it became my turn, and he looked at me and began giving orders. I looked at him and, in a very gentle tone, asked him, "Tell you what, since I know this town like the back of my hand, just tell me where you want to go, & I'll get you there, in One Piece". He looked at me, and said ok, and then told me as to where we were going to be going. .....Cool. So off we go.

about a 1/2 hr into it, we come up to a free flowing intersection and he begins to get edgy. I see out of the corner of my eye that he's starting to take off his belt, I guess, so that he can jump up to snatch the wheel. "You touch this wheel, you'll pull back a nub" I told him. "I've got this, Trust me". He settles back in his chair nervously, but, as we go through the intersection, he's re-assured that I in fact, knew & Understood the workings of this kind of intersection as well as knew where to keep my truck & trailer so that everything stayed in their proper lane....."####, there might be hope for you after all" he said. "Where to next, boss", I asked him. After a few minutes, he looked over to me & asked how I felt about attempting the same exit from earlier that morning. I looked over at him and jokingly asked him if he wanted to go through it forward or in reverse, LMAO!! Was the look he shot me. PRICELESS!!

When we got to the exit, it was a slam dunk. 60mph, shift out at 1800 (9th gear), emergantcy stab break, shift in at 500rpm (6th gear) Stab break & now we're at 20 mph with a firm break getting ready to enter the curve. This poor guy, lol, I see out of the corner that he's got one hand on the edge of his seat, right foot firmly planted into the fire wall, the left foot pointed at me and his eyes as big as golf balls. As we enter the curve, I decided to ask him if he would like for me to pull over so that he could retrieve his pants, as I was going to need my shorts for later in the week, LMAO. "Just keep going, smart-butt" .

When we got back to the yard, he pulled me to the side & complimented me on my driving and thanked me for coming to his rescue.

Later, the 3rd week, we were all placed into the classroom, (BOARING) watchng stupid videos, taking various tests in which I would almost always, finish way before everyone else (and missing only 1 or 2 on each test). That week was sooo boring, as I just could not stand to listen to all of the stupid answers I heard. There were times that I just had to get up & go hang out in the restroom. Hell, I'd rather listen to flies buzzing than to have to hear the stupidity of some of those folks.

By the end of the week, the instructor sent three of the new folks out to get their permits while curly & moe was asked to stay & work on their backing in the yard. "What about me" I asked. The instructor told me to go home & have a great weekend & that I would get credit for the remainder of the day. SWEET!!!

So, here we are, Sunday, getting ready for tomorrow, in which we begin our Night Driving. This ought to be really interesting, as neither curly or moe seem to understand that at night, it's an entirely different beast out there as one really can't see the back of the trailer and that one must know without any doubts as to where it is when making turns. Oh well, I;ll just make sure I have my belt tighten enough in hopes it will render me unconcious untill it's my turn. ...I guess I should be looking at the bright side of things, at least this week we will most likely be eating out instead of the brown bagging of having to eat at the school.

 

Wow! This last week went by really fast. I'm not sure if itwas due to all of the excitement from watching "moe" & "curly" trying their best to be profeshional idiots or trying to compete for the dumb & dummer sequal, LOL.

With this weeks tasks were mainly consisting of night drives, it did prove to be a bit more enjoyable, mainly because we not only got a chance to stop & eat out away from the school a day or two, but it also helped these guys to realize that when the sun drops & night becomes evident, it's an entirly new world when it comes to driveng a big rig. One can no longer depend on just mirrors alone to help them to stay with in their lanes nor to help keep that trailer from becoming a weapon of mas destruction. With the night in full bloom, one must be able to "KNOW WITHOUT QUESTION" as to where exactly is your trailer at any given time, just by the way you are driving, by the way your truck is feeling, and by knowing how to read those tiny little glowing dots in your side mirrors.

Add to that, watching these guys trying to figure out as to where to push or pull the gear stick, while at the same time knowing where they were at in their RPMS, watching them sweat about the traffic both infront, to their sides & rear of them, and then add to that mix of them trying to figure out as to know where their trailer was, ALL AT THE SAME TIME, mad this the better than watching TV Show of the week, LOL. So many times the instructor turned his head back at me telling me to quiet down and that my laughter could be heard in the front. When we got to a place where we could stop, (Usually on an on ramp along side a large hwy) I would explain to him as to why I was laughing, to which he would just snicker. It wasn't until a day or so ago that I learend that he was reading my posts and updates on here, to which made for a hillarious yet serious conversations.

Yesterday was our final day, the day when we all had to come in & show off what all we had learned for the past 4 weeks. I started off by going through the Pre-Trip Inspection, verbally explaining everything in great detail as to what all and how I would do my inspections. It made it seem a bit easier to do knowing that my tester was one and the same instructor who had been monitoring my posts.

While trying to explain to him what I was inspecting, many times I would find myself tossing in ad-libs and sarcastic remarks pertaining to what I was explaining. By the time we got to the "inside Cab inspection" this poor guy was virtually in tears. As we climb up into the cab, he asked me to please do my best as to not add colorful add ins on the various leaks and buttons or guages, as he was trying to maintain a profesionaldemeanor about the ordeal, not to mention that his boss was watching us and if I kept going, he would have no way of containing his laughter any longer. LOL

When we finished the PTI, and as we began to walk into the building, he busted out, He could no longer contain himself. His boss just looked at him and just had to ask as to what we were laughing about. Not being able to contain myself, the instructor just look at his boss and stated that from this point on in life, the whole purpose of the PTI or the truck would never be looked at the same again. LOL With a confused look on his boss's face, it just added to the hystrical laughs, especailly when I asked his boss as to what went through his mind when he would place his hands on the air hoses and if he ever wondered about the presure, LMAO (Sorry, inside joke).

After we were able to calm down and regain the seriousness of the previous test, I decided to ask him as to how well I did on the PTI, to which he stated that, with everything that we did, I had only missed one thing, and that was the info about the steering wheel and it's size, to which I told him that no, he must of have been mistaken, I didn't forget about it, I just chose to omit it mainly because it remided me about his boss and I had a phobia about touching butt holes, to which sent us back into uncontrolable laughters. ROTFLMAO.

Ok, so now we go out to do the backing up tests, (the 100ft back, 45*, 90*, and the serentine paralell) It took only one shot at each, without a single pull up. A grand total of 30 minutes and we were done. "I can't believe you didn't use not one pull up, Why" he asked me. "I forgot to go to walmart and buy some. Besides, I didn't know that it was time to change the bosses huggies" LOL to which, of course, we bust out laughing again, LOL. When we regained our composure, he told me that I had made a perfect score on that as well. COOL!! Nice to know I still have it in me. (That just came out all wrong, LOL, but I'm sure you know what I meant)

Now it was time for the open road test. OMG!! Had I had known about this adventure, I would have surely brought along a camera crew. Seriously.

The drive started out just as I had expected it to, with the usual, turn here, at that stop light turn right, etc. We get to and intersection in the middle of town in which has 6 points, all comming into a single intersection. He instructs that we make a semi turn to go straight, while making sure that the cars on the left of me are left pleanty of room to be able to make their turns. ---No Problem-- Until the one yoko decided that now that he is passed the nose of my truck, he wants to make a sharp right hand turn, not 10 ft in front of the truck!! -- WHAT AN IDIOT!! BAMM! I lock it down causing the instructor to loose his scoring board to the windshield... BAMN!! some jack ### in a new mozerati decides (at 5mph) to check out the durability of our DOT Bumper. Needless to say, it's interesting to find out why those forign cars are so #### expensive... and to the life of me, I can't understand as to why anyone would pay so much money for a huge piece of plastic.

As it turns out, the guy in the mozerati, was not only following way to close, but apparently, in way to much of a hurry. So much in fact, the the local police had been following him for several miles, moitoring him to see what all moving violations this guy was going to add to his tally. From what I could learn, there were a couple of speeding violations, unsafe movement, a wrong way, faiure to stop at a traffic light, and now, a failure to follow at a safe distance violation. ----When it was all said & done, it was he who got the tickets & we were sent on our way.

So now we are further into our testing, everything seems to be going great. By now I'm feeling like a bobble head on a dashboard from moving my head so much. Just as I'm beginning to slow the truck down & prepare it for a stop light, here comes a Mr. FED-EX guy pulling doubles, wizzes by me, only to cut me off so that he can make his right turn into his complex. Mind you, we are at 45 MPH in a 50MPH zone, he is passing us like we are backing up, with less than 1000 ft to a red stop light.

I begin to lock her down while at the same time, the instructor is cursing out MR. FED-EX for his actions. I'm stab breaking, and wouldn't you know it, one of the rear trailer tires decide to blow (later found out we had ran over some sharp steal shards from the local steel scrap yard just up the road). Combine stab breaking with a blown tire on an empty trailer and you end up with a trailer trying to come around to say hello. --- So it's off the breaks ---On the Breaks (emerg. Stab) trying to get the trailer back in line, nothing is seeming to work, when finally, it decides to fall back, just as the light is turning green. Since there is no place to turn off on this down hill streach, we continue up the hill to a vacant parking lot to where we can pull off. We get out, observe the damage, and then begin our discussion about what had just happened.

We get the tire fixed, and head back to the school. Once there, we are both sitting inside the cab, and the instructor goes over his findings. He stated that in all of the instances we encounted, he thought I had handeled things exceptionally well. I had managed to be able to keep the truck in my lanes, I made my turns well within the confines of limitations, as well as managed to handle the truck under emergantcy situations extreamly well and was impressed, as the school doesn't actually / physicly teach the various methods of breaking, just talk about them. And since the state on NC believes that no one can ever be perfect in their driving skills and recieve a true 100%, he marked me down for 7 points (with a total of 27 being failure). He listed me down as not keeping my head moving enough (checking mirrors) and a cople of times when I found myself "lightly" grinding 7th gear, in which we both knew that 7th is at a weird angle and is a snot to get into due to it's location.

So in total, he shook my hand and said that I had passed the entire course with a 97%. He handed me a sealed envelope to take to DMV, in which I haded to them. I told the guy that I also wanted to try & get my HAZMAT, Doubles, Tripples & Tanker endorsements (I wanted to increase my chances of getting on with someone as quickly as possible). He opend the envelope, and looked over the info and then looked at me and stated that it was rare that they get a student in with such high scores as I did & congraduleted me. He set up the computer for me to take my endorsment tests.

After about an hour, I went back to him to which he pulled up my scores and one again, he raised his brows then looked at me in amazement. (judging by the look on his face, I figured that, ok, my luck had ran out and he was about to tell me that I had failed one or more of them). He told me that I had only missed (or had one incorrect) on all of my tests, and that one was in the HAZMAT, however, beign that may, I had passed all of my endorsements. HELL YEAH BABY!!!

So now, come monday, I'll go down to Charlotte to do the finger prints and all of that jazz and hopefully in about 2 weeks, I'll have the HAZMAT endorsement. -- After I finshed with the DMV, I went back to the school to share the good news with my instructors, to which they were all very pleased to hear how well I had done, and told me good luck & were confidant that I would find an employer that would love to have me.

So, in ending this saga, I must say that this school, (Trans Tech, a division of Charlotte Driving School) has a great training program, and that all it takes is for one to keep an open mind, actually listen to what is being taught, apply what you are being taught, and you will defiantely come out with a new skill set. Regardless of how good or bad of a driver you are, if you actually apply yourself, you'll find yourself with a new set of skills that you can take with you to secure your future.

 

Now if I can only find a Job, LOL