Don’t DO it! (Part 3: Relationships and Trucking)

Trust is important.

I got a buddy that doesn't understand why my wife doesn't get upset when I go on travel, go out with friends, etc. Mine trusts me. His? Ha. I'm surprised he doesn't have a leash one can see. He's done everything one shouldn't do in regards to getting his to trust him. He should be the guy in 6's post.

Talks to much, makes dumb choices with bills, money, no self control, no ability to resist temptation, etc etc etc.

Good thread, good advice.

Not that it matters but...

Sirscrapntruckalot - An I approve this message.

 

I didn't read but one line of the original post. If you need a woman, rent her. End of story

 

I suppose that's one way to contribute to the local economy. Though I dont' think this is what they meant when they asked folks to support small businesses.Hey what do I know though, lot lizards need federal bailout's to..and local, state, etc.



Multiple puns, one post..it's like a quadruple word score in Scrabble.

Apologies for the derailment.

I married a red head. Much easier to get along with vs having to run and hide. Their crazy. I got the scars an therapy bills to prove it.

(I kid, I kid...mostly)

Sirscrapntruckalot - Waiting on a woman...since 1962. - Andy Griffith part in the song..."Waiting on a Woman" by Brad Paisly

 

I can relate almost word for word what you said, @Bear135.
I don't talk much about work at home, especially the negative stuff. Even when I drove after we got married, she really didn't ask a lot about it. Where I went, or was headed, and "Grain or cows?" was about it.
I do get an earful about her days, which is fine. She feels comfortable enough to talk about it, I'll listen.

 

At just over fifty years, I still have the same one I started with. She deserves most of the credit for anything good that's happened to us.
I'm the one who yells, throws things, or flys off the handle. She's the one who stays calm and reserves judgement until all the facts are in. I've learned a lot from her.
She never really went trucking with me but I'd take her along sometimes just so she could understand what I did and so some of the things I talked about would make more sense.
I ran mostly local and she'd get up with me every morning at one or two o'clock to cook breakfast and make my lunch. Then I'd go to work and she'd go back to bed. She's no dummy.
The only times she missed seeing me off in the mornings were when she was sick or at the hospital on an emergency call..
After she got the kids off to school she'd head for her day job. She's a Pediatrician, retired from her pracrice now but still working part time.
There are alot of things I'd change about my life if I could but I wouldn't change my choice of a wife. I'm glad she feels the same way.

 

Man that's good stuff. Congratulations on reaching 50 yrs.

My wife also, truly is the better half in our marriage.

 

Well said.

Despite the words of wisdom by the OP, in my opinion there is no set of rules that works for everyone, just as no two relationships are the same. Trust is definitely required, but you don't just automatically trust someone, it is built over years and years of experience with each other. All this talk about being a man is nice, but each relationship requires the attributes and personality of each person to mesh. Either the woman or man may be fiscally more responsible, either one can be the cool headed one, but each has to be there selflessly in support of the other when needed. There are things in my marriage that I feel I must deal with because I am a man, but that is not to say that my wife could not deal with them if she needed to.

I am a rookie at this and still learning after 39 years of marriage (to the same woman). We are blessed with 3 kids and 3 grandkids, and there has never been a divorce in our family on either side as of yet. It may just be luck, but it may also have a lot to due with having been raised that you don't just bail out when times are tough, or you are not having fun. I am not saying that there is never a time for divorce, but today's me me me me attitude is not conducive to long lasting relationships.

Marriage is not a one-size fits all deal, at least in my humble opinion.

 

You said it exactly right. Trust and communication are key.
She and I had plenty of bad role models in both of our families. Booze, drugs, criminal activity, and just general irresponsibility were, and still are, rampant on both sides. We knew how we didn't want our lives to be so it was easy to make the choices that gave us a reasonably good life without a lot of needless drama.
I'm not saying we're perfect. We've had our squabbles and there are things...politics mostly...that we'll never agree on, but in the overall scheme of things stuff like that doesn't matter.
Her job was, and still is to some extent, very stressful. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it for ten minutes. But I can listen when she vents. I'm not expected fix anything but just being there and letting her talk it out seems to work.

 

What you said here nailed it, square on the head.

Pushing through to success, wether in marriage, work, almost any endeavor worth striving for, many times, is just a matter of refusing to give up.