Drug test

Wouldn't that be cool!

 

A small-town patrolman stopped a motorist for speeding and approached the driver. Peering into the back seat, he saw a large collection of knives, machetes, and swords. Thinking he had some wacko on his hands, the policeman placed a cautious hand on his firearm and asked the man to step out of the car. When queried about the contents of the back seat, the driver replied, "Oh, those! Officer, I'm a juggler and those are part of my act." Skeptical, the policeman thought he would call the man's bluff.

"If you can juggle these here machetes like you say, I'll let you off", the officer says. Well, sure enough, the driver IS a juggler, and his hands explode into a dizzying frenzy of spinning, twirling, flying blades, reflecting brilliantly in the afternoon sun! The blades fly behind his back, under his legs & over his head, in seamless fluid motion. He even tosses an apple into the fray and quarters it without missing a beat...

As this is occurring, a man driving by says to his wife, "Martha, it's a good thing I gave up smoking dope... look at the sobriety test they're giving now!"

 

Love it. But, if you had googled "Pam urine" or you lived in FL, you would know that Pam Bondi as Atty General of FL was approached the staff of "The Daily Show" and asked to give a urine sample. This is the true "Pam urine".

 

@Wooly Rhino will know the answer.
I'll bet and say it's only urine test.

 

I do NOT know if Pam does urine or hair follicle testing.

However, you may want to do these things BEFORE applying for the truck driving job of your choice, TO HELP CLEANSE YOUR BODY OF ALL IMPURITIES.

1) For the next 1 to 2 years, go onto a serious exercise regiment to get yourself into the best shape possible. You may want to contact an athletic coach to help you with this.

2) For the next 1 to 2 years, go onto a serious diet and nutrition regiment. Stick to LEAN proteins as turkey, chicken, and beef. Eat PLENTY of various fresh vegetables and fresh fruits every day.

3) For the next 1 to 2 years, STAY COMPLETELY AWAY FROM all cakes, pastries, ice creams, chocolates, candies, fruit drinks with sugar and fructose corn syrup in them, breakfast cereals with sugar in them, and highly fatty items as bacon. Also, STAY COMPLETELY AWAY FROM meats with sodium nitrates and sodium nitrites in them, such as hot dogs and various types of sausage meats.

4) For the next 1 to 2 years, DRINK PLENTY OF FRESH CLEAN WATER EVERYDAY WITHOUT FAIL. Also get into the habit of drinking herbal teas, green teas, and antioxidant teas. These teas will also help clean out your system. A good health food store can also help you out with the tea selections.

5) For the next 1 to 2 years, go to a sauna at least once a week. Be sure to DRINK PLENTY OF FRESH CLEAN WATER EVERYDAY WITHOUT FAIL, BOTH BEFORE AND AFTER USING THE SAUNA.

6) If you smoke or drink any alcoholic beverages at all, try your absolute best to totally give them up altogether.

7) If you use over the counter medicines, try your absolute best to totally give them up altogether.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU! God bless you and your entire family!

God bless every American and their families! God bless the U.S.A.!

 

Unless of course they are the ones crippled or killed by the truck driving student who cleansed his body merely to pass a test.

 

If he does all this, he'll be too exhausted to drive.

 

Pam urine; long story but was on the news. It concerns some politician in a hotel room in Moscow. Personally, I think it was fake news.

 

Just spoke to a friend who has been working there 5 months. He said no hair follicle test. Just urine.