Good bye my trucking dream!

Get a full blood work up. Chances are that your dizziness is caused by low blood sugar, bad diet and lack of fluids.

If you’re seriously considering suicide, check yourself into a mental health clinic. If you’re taking any medications now, it’s possible that the medication is causing you to have suicidal thoughts.

Best of luck.

 

I get dizzy when I look at load board rates.
I know the pain.

 

You know how many people have felt exactly as you, wanting to drive back and forth across 80 and 90 for the rest of their days, and how many actually are still overjoyed every day they go do the same thing over and over? I can tell you I've met plenty of drivers who all say the same thing, "it gets old - real fast."

You need to fix yourself first. Would you want someone on the edge of suicide operating an 80,000 truck down the road? Try not to take this the wrong way but you should do a 3 things.
1. Get a hobby. Preferably an inexpensive one. It can't also be your source of income. I am quite boring, I enjoy chess and natural beauty especially mountain hiking trails. I also like to cook when I'm at home.
2. Take care of yourself. Make a small goal every day of some form of physical activity. Mine is 7000 steps a day, the phone counts it. It's a very small accomplishment that does a lot for mental health. If nothing else, that got done, every day. Ever hear the saying "idle hands are the work of the devil"? It is very true.
3. Get professional therapy. That isn't meant as an insult, it really can and does help people. Find a good therapist for you. It doesn't have to be scheduled all the time, like every week or once a month, you can just make an appointment on an as needed basis.

You owe it to yourself to try every avenue you can before you call it quits. What the worst that's going to happen you are still going to hate your life? You only get to do this once and if you ever heard of someone who jumped off a bridge or fired a bullet into their head and somehow lived they will all very loudly say the same thing: the moment before they let go, they were sure this was what they wanted. The instant their fingers left the ledge, they knew it was a mistake.

 

U-Haul hires drivers to transfer their trucks to different locations all across the USA.
_
Look for work on cruise ships that run the rivers in the USA.
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You can drive semis with antidepressants. Lots of drivers do. It ain't the end of the world. You just need to get control of your thoughts and focus on what you want to accomplish.