Grandpa always said......

Early to bed
Early to rise
Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise

It takes 2 to tango

Red in the morning, sailors take warning
Red at night , sailors delight (refers to the sun)

It’s a long road that never bends

He has a hard row to hoe

He could squeeze a nickel so hard that buffalo would take a xxxx

As tight as the bark on a tree

He who laughs last, laughs the hardest

Don’t write a check your xxx can’t sign

He’s dxxx small potatoes and far and few between hills. Dr’s words about my paternal grandfather. He was born premature. About 1910. His mother kept him in a shoe box on the open door of the oven of a wood burning stove.

I’ll see you again, the Good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise.

It takes one to know one.

Birds of a feather flock together.

Misery loves company.

Doesn’t have a pot to pixx in or a window to throw it out of.

It’s an ill wind that blows no good.

There is a silver lining in every cloud.

There is enough blue in the sky to make a pair of Dutchman’s britches. (The rain is over and the weather clear)

Smiling like a ####### eating briars.

You must be feeling better, your knees are getting out. Refers to the holes in the jeans of your jeans because you wore what you had.

If wishes were horses all the kings men could ride.

A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.

An inch is as good as a mile. (Refers to a close miss)

Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile as in being taken advantage of.

Close only counts in horseshoes and grenades

The bigger they the harder they fall.

Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Stuck between a rock and a hard spot.

A dog that shixx fast don’t shixx long. (Refers to the new man trying to impress the boss)

A kiss without a squeeze is like apple pie without cheese.

Don’t sleep with her at night if you aren’t willing to sit across from her in the morning (at the breakfast table)

He’s not the sharpest knife if the drawer.

He’s about as bright as a 2 wattt bulb.

We need a man that wears a size 2 hat and 48 jacket.

 

Always drink upstream from the herd.
If you have an erection, don't fxck with it.
Life evens out, sometimes it just takes a while.
Waste of time, telling a hair raising story to a bald headed man.
Laughed so hard, my water broke and I wasn't even pregnant. Jeannie Robertson
Never send a man to the grocery store.
Do not bungee jump naked

 

Grandpa never said ####, he knew when to keep his mouth shut. Grandpa ain’t no snitch.

 

Put your #10 into it! (Refers to using your booted foot to kick something into place)

If you want to find the man that does the work, look for the dirtiest hat. If you're needing the man that writes the checks, look for the most expensive hat.

 

The fastest way to get there is have patience

 

never put your nose close to a mouse trap when you are setting it up.

 

My grandpa said “ you ain’t drunk until you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the earth”

 

Grand MA used to say. You little #### fool. Stay in school and read everything you can put your hands on.
This is America where we have free schools and still have poor dumb people.

 

Never Ever Break 2 Laws at Once.


Old wise friend told me that many many years ago, passed it along to many others since.

A couple old friends I run into occasionally remind me of the time I told them that phrase, and tell me they pass it on .