Hello, I need answers

Stop, bro. Log off and get some rest. Your post wasn't the disaster you think it was. It gave some of us the chance to bust your bawlz but also gave you the opportunity to vent a bit. Take China's advice if you feel the need but get yourself calmed down before you do anything. You got some good folks giving you good advice. I know it's disheartening to get run through the mill but one day you'll look back on this and appreciate it.

 

Nothing to worry about
Tomorrow is a NEW DAY

 

Hang in there man. Don’t get discouraged. No one (in here anyway) doubts your ability. Just a couple situations you gotta explain. Most guys have that. Stay positive. Chin up! You got this!!!!

 

Sir I explained to you that if you cannot find a OTR trucking job, use your mind and find a dump truck job with a outfit that does nothing about checking no DAC. You are still trucking, just not in the way you like it to be. For me, you would be surprised at how much of a sinner I was really in my time and it took about three years of dump truck work to get back to where someone would hire me for OTR work. For my part I was more than happy to go. Although my profane employer shed a tear to see me go that day. But I am going to build a new life here in Arkansas and what a life it was. (The good and the bad...)

I have also explained that the Trainees by and large do not get the knowledge that should have a accident severe enough or with death and injury, there is a real possibility with DAC reports system you will not be able to be hired for OTR work for a while. That could be months or years.

You already possess a CDL with whatever endorsements you got. You have probably did the TWIC card as well as perhaps a passport to get back in the USA from Canada among other things and updated problems with holding a med card etc etc etc etc etc.

That's quite enough sniveling and weeping. Dry your lying eyes and move forward. Trucking is a very hard... mistress to those who are too stupid to comprehend that it's many lessons to learn and live by.

I remember one driver in particular. I caught him crying tears in his trashed cabover smashed into a low bridge on US 20 between Buffalo and I think Syracuse. I forget the exact village. But that one is defended by YUGE signs on all inbound roads to tell truckers STAY OUT of this village GO AROUND on other routes. So it is about a 10 mile run south about 10 more east and another 10 miles north in cornfields and single lane paved roads to bypass just this one and it's 10 foot bridge. Or was it 11? Anyway, he did not bypass and slammed the whole thing into it.

That company fired him that day. And there he sat in his wrecked cabover sobbing that he has 8 dollars left to the name, 2 kids to feed and a angry wife at home...

I left him there. I never saw him again. Nor the tractor. It was junked. Boy was only maybe 22 at best. I was in my late 30's by then, I had nothing for him.

I never did forget that. Screw up, make a mistake, break something with a big truck or god forbid kill someone or hurt them badly, it will be something you may not be able to carry on your heart and soul for the rest of your life, provided you are not imprisioned for it first.

Trucking is very ... BIG. It's very intense. It will be a form of darwin school so to speak, weeding out the truly stupid within the first year or two. God only knows Ive done some stuff myself and seen more than a few stupids first hand. Stories are built on that for the lunch counter for everyone's amusement. One strap over a coil on a open deck flatbed? Sure, seen that. Everyone laughs and have a good time. But you can bet that idiot is GONE. As in not hired again in this industry. That coil could easily come off and do now and then mash a minivan with kids inside. Because they were too lazy to do more than toss a strap over the top.

I better stop talking. This is a form of a rant, I say these things out of a form of love because if you learn then you will be a way better trucker with a thicker skin and a faster mind to understand the problems before they bite you hard.

But life will not sit here and do a pity party, you have to pull yourself up, dry your tears and get moving. Even if it's doing dishes a while. Otherwise.. why are we here? Do you understand?