Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Sorry for the abrupt ending of my last tale. I've discovered when my puter starts to clatter, i got to post and run. At least I didn't lose what I'd typed. I did enter into no-man's land and did some high tech confriguration. I just spoke with the space shuttle ( by accident, sorry nasa ). On with life.

1977, Saturday Night Fever, John Travolta, discocotheque. It was a new era. El Paso , Texas was more aliken to the West coast than to cowtown. Me and my fancy Goodtimes van equiped with side pipes, stero cassette, shag carpet, and mirror on the roof. Of course I was decked out in my white jacket, dress slacks, and high heeled boots. My wife had dressed me with her discount used at the mall. She loved to disco and I loved to drink. What a pair. So, on Saturday nights we, along with our best friends, would load up in the van. The mall where my wife worked had the biggest discotheque. I. I, I, I, I'm staying alive, staying alive. Yep, we were party animals minus the drugs. I was considored an old man by most of my fellow G.I.'s. Most had entered the miltary from high school. I was an elderly 24 year old. My apartment on wekends was the place to be after a night of disco-ing (not sure if that's a word). I met some fine people in the service and it did help me in a way. It gave me a different way to look at myself and others. Some for the good and some for the bad. It never hurts to look at things in a different light.

The party ended a few months before my discharge. My wife was in the military hospital having a miscarriage. She had been late with her monthly visit. A Quack army doctor gave her a shot and sent her home. Two months later she discovered that she was and had been pregnant. While at the hospital two M.P.'s from my unit came by. I was shocked to see them and thanked them for coming by. That's when they handcuffed me, in front of my bed ridden wife.

CPT. Bigcheese explained how I'd be brought before a summary court martial and most likely get a dishonorable discharge for fraudulent enlistment. It seems when they were doing my secret clearance they discovered that I was a convicted felony rapiest. My immediate thought, " What do you do when your branded but you know your a man? " Yes, Chuck Conners in branded. I was relieved from duty and put under house arrest. Being CPT. Bigcheese had a big heart, I was allowed to tend to my wife. Then a Sgt. would drive me home. I wasn't allowed out untill the next day when I got a military escort to the hospital.

My wife was discharged from the hospital a few days later. She wasn't able to travel, so I made my great escape, on my own, over the weekend. Yes, AWOL and on my way to hell. Well, actually back to Fort Worth. They never checked my apartment on weekends. So, with my wife's blessing I took off like a rocket. I beat feet into the county courts office. They were closed of course. I was directed to the Sheriff's department where I ran into a stone wall. Back then you couldn't even pay to see your own records. Finally I spoke with an old deputy who decided to help. I was in my dress greens and probably looked as desperate as drowning kitten. He agreed with me that the record showed the charges had been dismissed. Apparently some idiot had mailed in my fingerprint card to the F.B.I. So, when the army sent my prints into Washington all they had was the charge of stautory rape with no deposistion. Everyone assumed I had been convicted. After all, no big deal, just a poor slobs life at stake.

It was 600 miles from Fort Worth to El paso. My van would run over 125 mph, so with the cruise on 100 mph, I made it in about 7 hours,(I stopped and had a beer at Impact city). Just as I entered into El Paso I saw a police officer sitting on the access road. He was running radar and facing me. I had slowed to about 70 mph. As soon as I took the next exit he lit me up. I pulled into the airport parking lot and stopped. As I sat there 3 more units slid up behind me. A helicopter flew overhead. A police dog began barking. I stepped out. Wham ! I think even the dog hit me with a night stick. Cuffed, stuffed, and on my way to of all places the El PAso city jail. My crime ? Speeding 86 mph in a 55 mph zone, evading and eluding arrest, and what ever else the fine officer could think of.

Let's call it a night, see you lovely people tomorrow, computer willing. Snazzy.

 

First, Welcome Sid, you snuck in on me. Good to see a fellow Texan aboard. Ducks, as long as you ain't an air traffic controller I don't see a problem with sneaking in. Baack, there will be a test at the end, pay attention. My first and second wife we're one in the same. I'd post pictures but actually your imagination would serve you better. Scarecrow03, just paste and copy away.The stories are for all to have. If it gets published I'll come visit you in jail. My computer crashed this morning. It's on line now but probably won't be able to post this. If I disappear for a few days. It will be because the computer is in the repair shop or back in my junk pile. I'll see if this post before going futher. Ya'll's truely, The Snazzy.

 

Well, that posted, but my delete button isn't working. So, we'll see how bad I type this. If you have ever been in jail and I hope you haven't. Rule # 1, be polite. Even to the cops and jailers. That's where I seemed to have fallen short. #2, NEVER ask another inmate, " What you in for, bud ?"). For some reason that is a butt kicking offense. # 3, Make bail or escape as soon as you can.

I was fortunate, the Military Police had a policy of making 2 jail sweeps, every day. They simply would sign you out, ( if it wasn't a felony ). I was charged with a class C misdameaner for speeding 86 mph in a 55 mph zone and a Class A misdameaner for evading and eluding the police. My bail was $100.oo for speeding and $ 200.oo for the other. All I did was sign a paper promising to appear. The MP's got me out and even took me to the impound lot, so I could pay the $ 30.oo impound fee. The cops had torn my van apart searching for contriband. That same night I spoke with a Duty Officer at the M.P. station. He was one of the good Officers that I knew. He laughed at me and sent me home.

Now, to be fair to the cop who arrested me. I'm sure he thought he'd really caught a bad guy. There I was at 2 am, flying low, in a fancy van, that I'm sure he suspected of hauling tons of cocaine. On the other hand, I honestly believe no matter what, fibbing on a police report isn't justified. He claimed that I had killed my headlights and attempted to out run him. Hah, if that had been my intention, he'd seen tail lights all the way to Mexico. El Paso had slower cop cars than our MP jeeps. Well, at least back then. Also, the streets have rules. If a suspects runs, there is the 5 second rule. That means that for 5 seconds anything goes. Kicking, hitting, biting, all except shooting an unarmed suspect. The cops know this and so do the bad guys. I'm not saying it's right, but that's the unwritten rule. So, ole knockem dead, screwed up in my book. I wasn't running. I had my hands up and turned my back, so there was no 5 second play rule.

Anyhow, about a month later I appeared in court on the speeding charge. My wife was doing better and tagged along. She was more upset than I was. When I had come home that night from the arrest, I looked like a unicorn. I had an eye swollen shut, a fat lip, and welts on my back made by boots. Yes, even paws prints where the dog kicked me. I was more upset over my van. They tore the hell out of her. The cop lied in court and even claimed I'd thrown, what had appeared to be a gun out the window. I just stood there and listened to him lie. When my turn came the judge warned me about perjury. I told him that usually the first liar didn't stand a chance, but in this case the cop won hands down. I then gave my side of the story. The judge found me guilty and fined me $100.oo. Before I could pay the cashier an old lawyer shuffled up. He and his younger law partner had a good deal going. For the cost of the ticket, they'd appeal. They even had a money back guarntee. If they lost the appeal your money back. I paid him and made an appointment about the evading charge.

So, a couple of months later I pled no contest to the evading charge. The judge,( a different one), sentenced me to a 90 day suspended sentece and a $ 200.oo fine. I handed the paper work over to the lawyers, plus $200.oo bucks. Mean while, back at the ranch. The Provost Marshall himself called me into his office. He had reviewed my paper work from the girly incident. He was satisfied that I hadn't enterd the military under fraudulant circumstances. Gee, was I surprised. I'd only screamed that a 100 times in the two months it was hanging over me.

My military service ended on April 9th, 1978. It had been a long three years. My wife was already back in Fort Worth. She had become pregnant with our twin girls, they were born April, 10th, 1978. I sold the van to an Army buddy and flew home. I did recieve an honorable discharge. By the way, if you ever heard of screw up and move up. The last few months in the Army I went to college. At their expense. What a crazy world.

Nighty, nighty, hope ya'll can make sense of all this. Your, Snazzy.